To think this was really cheeky of my friend!

[BreezyFish]

So my friend has just told me that she’s “only gonna spend a cutla quid” (her words, not mine ) on my DS this Christmas because she’s “saving for Center Parcs next year.”

Now, I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but a cutla quid?? I actually thought she was joking at first. My DS is 7, not some random kid from school you pick up a selection box for. I always spend properly on her DD with last year it was a LEGO set, a book, and one of those slime-making kits that exploded glitter everywhere. Easily £25+.

So I said, “Oh right, just a couple of quid?” and she said, dead serious, “Yeah hun, can’t go mad this year, Center Parcs isn’t cheap.”

Sorry but since when did her holiday mean my son gets shortchanged?! It’s not my fault she wants to go be in a beige lodge with a swimming pool.

She’s now acting like I’m the unreasonable one for being “materialistic.” But surely it’s just basic decency to reciprocate roughly what someone else spends?

Would I be unreasonable to get her DD something from the pound shop this year and see how she likes it?

Well, why not just agree not to buy any gifts for the kids this year?

Presumably your child will receive gifts from other people and not just your friend?

Maybe she hates you for the exploding glitter 😂😂😂

YABU for the “cutla”

A selection box is fine for friends kids

She was probably telling you so that you don't go overboard and buy her child expensive gifts? Probably felt overwhelmed by the gifts last year and feels she can't reciprocate?

The only thing she is unreasonable for is the use of the word "cutla"

She’s asking you /telling you that presents have to be much smaller this year. You get hers smaller and she gets yours smaller - respect the fact that she’s been upfront with you. People are struggling (whatever they are keeping the pounds close for)

Just spend the same on her kid. She was giving warning so you could do so. But who the fuck says 'cutla' for a couple of?!

No gift exchange this year - I sense you were keener on that tradition than she was

You’re being very unreasonable. Why are you placing an expectation on your friend to provide a gift for your child? Granted, she could have worded it a bit better to you!

YANBU to reciprocate in kind, she has clearly set he expectations, just match this when you get her child's gift.

Pretty obvious that she wants to agree in advance that both of you cut back on the amount you spend.

It's so unnecessary to buy gifts for friends' children. Let it go. And what the hell is cutla? Did she make that up or did you?

She’s just changing the budget for both of you. She’d rather go to center paces with the money than get more shite for her kid.

Don’t blame her, tbh.

‘Cutla’ is vvvvvvvv UR

Get her a “chester draws”

She is informing you of a boundary she is setting.

She doesnt want to buy expensive gifts, you are free to do as you please but you know what to expect.

YABU because you take this as a personal affront of what you think she should spend on your child. Very entitled of you to spend other peoples money on your children. Go along with her boundary and buy something similar, but dont judge her for making the decision to not buy expensive gifts.

Just get her daughter a selection box or similar. To be honest it sounds like you went a bit ott last year for a friend's child. You can always use the money you save to get an extra gift for your son if you are so upset.

She's letting you know well in advance so you don't go and overspend on her child.

Wtf? Firstly you don’t give to receive and secondly you’re lucky she buys your kid anything! She’s told you what she’s spending if you want to be petty just spend the same amount. She’s saving for a holiday for her family. Which comes well above presents for your spoilt kid

Transparent reverse. No one is this deluded.

Agree with everyone else, she wants to reduce how much you both spend and said it rather awkwardly is all. Very sensible of her. Saves both of you the mental energy thinking of stuff too.

Why is your child's xmas present more important than her child's trip?

She can get your child a decent gift for £10, she’s told you in advance so who cares? I bet your child won’t. Get over it

“Cutla” 🤣🤣🤣
I don’t know, OP, times are tough and some of us need to shift our priorities and holidays are expensive. Just spend what you feel comfortable spending, don’t judge her for it, at least she’s being up front.

Why can you not take her very heavy hint that she doesn't want you to do expensive kids presents anymore? Its not unreasonable.

The response you were supposed to give was "Thats a good idea. Christmas is so expensive. Lets both limit it to a fiver max as a token pressie"

Cutla…. one to add to that other thread about ridiculous spelling and grammar 😂

You sound entitled. No one has to buy your kid a gift, and she’s given you fair warning so that you don’t go all out on gifts for her kid either. YABU.

I was considering that it was an indirect way to ask you to spend less for her to match. Maybe the £25 is too much for her this year.

Personally I didn't see it as cheeky.. more just her setting a boundary and telling you in advance to avoid embarrassment come Christmas.

What is it that offended you about it? Center Parcs sounds like a way of saving face about financial struggles rather than her actually prioritising a holiday over your child (also a valid choice since it's her money).

YANBU, get her dd a box of Maltesers sharers for £2. Job done!

Do NOT spend more than £2!