Husband wants to move to dubai

[Dilemma87]

My husband is a businessman in property and with the recent proposed tax changes and new rules putting limits on how long he can keep doing things from the UK, he’s now saying he needs to move to Dubai and operate from there.

We actually have some friends there, and his business partner is already based out there, so on paper it all sounds easy enough. His plan is to buy a second property in Dubai and move there by himself, while I stay here with the kids.

The problem is, the children are really settled one’s in high school and the other is due to start soon, so moving them just isn’t an option. He’s suggested that we (me and the kids) fly out to Dubai every school holiday to spend time with him.

The catch is, under his visa he can only be out of Dubai for 90 days a year, so he’d basically have to live there full-time.

AIBU to think this is just not going to work long-term? I can’t help but feel like this is the start of living completely separate lives.

Kids are in school here

I mean this entire country was built on theft
At least Dubai the wealth is actually their own?
What are you proud of exactly

I’m not jealous. I can’t see how moving to Dubai would better anyone’s life, because I have some ethics and morals.
I’m retired, so my job isn’t an issue. I’ve never resented taxes. And I wouldn’t bugger off and leave people in supposed to care about to avoid paying them.
Your attitude is totally incomprehensible to me.

Yes. Absolutely. I speak from direct experience. Do you? A lot of people on here could benefit from broadening their world experience also.

Yes but there are schools in Dubai too…

I don't think the op would lose her kids if the marriage broke up. I think the husband would happily wave them all goodbye and pack them off back to the UK.

@Dilemma87i have a friend that did this recently. They went to dubai every half term, Christmas and Easter holiday. Husband travelled back every other weekend (this stayed below the 90 day limit) and then would spend the summer on holiday in Italy or elsewhere in Europe. It worked well for them

So he’s leaving you to move to Dubai, where he can be rich and shag influencers and see his kids for a few weeks a year?

This 💯

I wouldn’t exchange my family life for some extra cash.

As per @Toddlergrumps , if his family, house and business is in the UK, he might not be escaping UK tax as it’s obviously a tax dodge. Renting somewhere in Dubai won’t change this, he’d have to buy somewhere, and still he’ll be left with the UK family ties to get around.

Kids are well settled in school and thriving. They love their hobbies and both achieving well.

Dont want to pull the rug from under them with the move

Seen loads of it thanks. Not sure what you mean by that being the best I’ve got. If you think Dubai is better, go. That’s all I said.

He wants to have his cake and eat it. He sounds like a prick so I'd be happy for him to fuck off to another country if he was my DH.

Won't the kids miss him? How will you explain to them that he wants to hoard his money and not pay his contribution to the society that raised him and that to do so he's going to not see them for the majority of the year, for the foreseeable future? I'm not sure my DC would be very impressed with that.

Then 100% don't. Follow your gut instinct.

Husband sounds untrustworthy anyway.

So he wants to leave you with all the work of the family and doesn't mind being apart from you for money? He's surely checking out of the marriage while still keeping his hand in just enough to keep the connection going for his convenience?

I think I'd take one of the following approaches:

1. Marriage over. If he wants to go, he goes fully.
2. Since he's gone anyway, stay in the marriage for the financial benefits (you'll be supporting his kids and home there after all, and they cost). Re-evaluate as life progresses.

I suspect I'd stay in till the kids had left school, then strike out on my own. This isn't a marriage to me.

Tell him you're taking an overseas posting and leaving him with the kids and see how he responds.

This thread shows how naive and sheltered some people are. Repeating whatever they read in the Guardian.

Does it some as a shock to them that the wealthy are leaving this shit hole of a country because of high taxes, crumbling infrastructure and a culture of crabs in a bucket pulling each other down. Do they think people wake up in the morning and think, ah I must stay in this declining backwater because, you know, I love paying taxes.

Well, they have a bigger shock in store yet. When all the wealthy are gone and they are left fighting over scraps. Because you know they think everyone should pay tax for them to live for free.

Your ethics and morals came from a time where one income was enough and you could buy houses 🤣
There's plenty of people that can pay taxes in the UK
What exactly do you want from this man who's trying to better his life and the life of his kids?
Are you surprised that people in the UK are finally emigrating to seek pastures new?
It's a big world out there, and young people have the energy to go out and seek their fortunes 😉

Kids generally adapt just fine. Thousands of children move schools. Many in Dubai schools will have done exactly the same, the support will be there for that. The education there is likely to far exceed what is available in a general state school here. I’m not sure this is a great reason not to go. Having said that, moving abroad isn’t for everybody, and it seems like you’re not keen. In which case, my view is your husband shouldn’t be considering it.

Are you the only one who puts the kids first? Does your husband care about how they’ll feel without their dad?

Why doesn’t he care, because he earns well?

The wealthy aren't leaving though. It’s a myth.
But li’e I said, go. Nobody is stopping you.

Ah yes, I just needed your permission for that. I’ll do exactly what a random on the internet tells me to do.

So you enjoy being on vacation in a country where homosexuality is illegal and sharia laws are applied? Be careful because non-muslim expatriates can be liable to Sharia rulings on marriage, divorce and child custody.

But as long as there are money to make huh🙄

Ah yes, the "patriots" who love their country and culture so much they flounce when they're expected to contribute

Highly doubt it. You do realise 10% of the population in the world are gay right? And that women can be gay too?