Husband wants to move to dubai

[Dilemma87]

My husband is a businessman in property and with the recent proposed tax changes and new rules putting limits on how long he can keep doing things from the UK, he’s now saying he needs to move to Dubai and operate from there.

We actually have some friends there, and his business partner is already based out there, so on paper it all sounds easy enough. His plan is to buy a second property in Dubai and move there by himself, while I stay here with the kids.

The problem is, the children are really settled one’s in high school and the other is due to start soon, so moving them just isn’t an option. He’s suggested that we (me and the kids) fly out to Dubai every school holiday to spend time with him.

The catch is, under his visa he can only be out of Dubai for 90 days a year, so he’d basically have to live there full-time.

AIBU to think this is just not going to work long-term? I can’t help but feel like this is the start of living completely separate lives.

How involved a father will he be if he’s living thousands of miles away from his family most of the time?

There's no culture either - as it was basically just desert and a handful of tents until the '70s, my grandpa was stationed there during WW2 and was gobsmacked by the change even in his lifetime - and it's far too hot and humid to go outside most of the year, so all there is to do is get drunk and go shopping. Also another reason why so many people (well, ex-pats) end up having affairs.

So he's already avoiding tax, and the government are going to make the way he's doing this not legal/impossible.

Let him go OP. But what happens if the relationship doesn't work out. What would you be entitled to if he's legally living elsewhere? How easily can he hide assets?

'and it's far too hot and humid to go outside most of the year, so all there is to do is get drunk and go shopping. Also another reason why so many people (well, ex-pats) end up having affairs.'

This!

All folk do is get drunk, spend money and have flings, it is not s lifestyle you'd want a spouse embracing.

I’m the first to understand why people might want to move somewhere else, but I will never get Dubai having been there - I think they like the bling - it makes them feel important and clearly it’s all based on cash and not having to jump through hoops like getting in somewhere in EU or even USA or Australia - if it’s purely about tax why not look at Malta or Cyprus - both are lowish tax and have nomad visas which can be based on passive income

Also, I would reconsider how I felt about a man who would rather avoid paying tax than spending time with his family.
His priorities are all wrong

Would you be better off financially if you divorced? I'd do that if it he was serious about moving over there. The marriage would be as-good-as ended anyway.

Surely safety wise Dubai at night there's probably a near 0% chance a woman will get randomly harassed by a man?

Not for opening the discussion.

But yes if he went. I mean, for me that would mean the marriage was over.

Is it ok to be happy to be stop being a father and husband to save some money?

And a high chance of her getting prosecuted if she is raped, especially if her rapist has connections

Absolutely not. Ive been there many a time there is plenty of unwanted attention.

It is a Muslim country pretending to be a liberal western country.

Exactly. No rights at all, their judicial system is great if you are loaded and a resident but fucked if you are an ex pat.

Err..no..He should pay his taxes as per the tax regulations. He is entitled to make decisions that will benefit him and his family, even if that means uprooting. He doesn't have to stay here and keep paying more and more tax if there are better options for him and his family. And as for higher rate tax payers "bailing out" because they have to pay more tax -well that's for RR and Starmer to worry about, not us. People who leave due to increased taxes are not selfish -they are wise and fortunate to be able to do so.

OP, I wouldn't be too happy that he is willing to leave without you and the children though. I too would think that this is the beginning of living seperate lives.

I used to teach on the international circuit and know many who lived in Dubai, some loved it , others only lasted a year. I would be very wary of letting him live alone there, especially if you already question his loyalty. If he is wealthy, sociable etc he will be constantly surrounded by and actively pursued by young, beautiful women. The Eastern European 'escort' industry is very much part of the expat culture (amongst men) and often tolerated by wives in exchange for the money and Dubai lifestyle.

It doesn't sound like the relationship is going to continue. I'd work on that basis.

Dubai government get their funds in other ways, oil and natural gas, state owned enterprise

Sounds unlikely he'd want to keep them considering he's planning on leaving them in uk

So he's basically saying a bit more money is worth more to him than you and your kids are.
Despite him presumably already having a lot of money if he's affected by these taxes.

It was different when these tax dodgers stood by with their hands in their pockets whilst the Tories ruined services and tried to cut benefits for the low earners.

Now it's the well off's turn to pay their share, it's an absolute outrage !. How dare the Government ask me to pay a reasonable amount in tax! How can they tax my millions in inheritance from my tax avoidance farm! Why do we have to pay VAT on private school fees!.

I would be Googling schools in Dubai. I think you should all go.

I believe this has changed as extra-marital sex is now not illegal.

I do believe in recent years they've changed and are prosecuting the men more now. Even if it's low, would it be any worse than it is here?

To the poster who compared us to Finland - they have vast natural resources and a very low, homogeneous population so there’s plenty to go around per head. The U.K. is in the opposite position and is sliding fast in the global marketplace for the few goods and services we still have to offer.

Maybe with a rock solid marriage yes. But this doesn’t seem like one as DH is happy to live apart and has “friendships” with other women. If they move to Dubai and then split up, OP is in a real pickle, she won’t have the right to stay there but won’t necessarily be able to bring her kids back to the UK .

Imagine you see a government wanting to take all your money, take take take take and give it to those who haven't worked hard.

Can you see why someone might want to leave?