Husband wants to move to dubai

[Dilemma87]

My husband is a businessman in property and with the recent proposed tax changes and new rules putting limits on how long he can keep doing things from the UK, he’s now saying he needs to move to Dubai and operate from there.

We actually have some friends there, and his business partner is already based out there, so on paper it all sounds easy enough. His plan is to buy a second property in Dubai and move there by himself, while I stay here with the kids.

The problem is, the children are really settled one’s in high school and the other is due to start soon, so moving them just isn’t an option. He’s suggested that we (me and the kids) fly out to Dubai every school holiday to spend time with him.

The catch is, under his visa he can only be out of Dubai for 90 days a year, so he’d basically have to live there full-time.

AIBU to think this is just not going to work long-term? I can’t help but feel like this is the start of living completely separate lives.

Op, you would be extremely foolish to plan anything based on growing old with this man. Beyond naive to not realise how selfish he is. He will still be with you in old age only if it serves him. Not a chance if it doesn’t. I would absolutely recommend divorcing now and splitting the pot whilst you have a chance to see some of it.

Not accurate at all. I remarried in the UAE after divorcing my first husband, and then sadly divorced again there. Children and I are all fine, no issues at all and there are separate courts for non-muslims.

This is a fair point. The cheating issue bothers me a lot.

Surely if you split he'd have to share his wealth with you? He may leave you anyway? It doesn't sound like he respects you (gym woman etc) or wants a family life at all if he'd leave his kids and live on the other side of the world rather than pay a bit more tax? That really is awful. What a selfish, greedy individual.

I mean if he moves he avoids the tax increase and also gets a massive massive tax reduction.

Yeah but he’d also have to fund two houses and households - property in Dubai is very expensive, especially if he needs somewhere big enough for wife & kids to visit. Not sure it will be as lucrative as people may think.

Unless of course he ditches OP, in which case it will be much more lucrative.

Who cares about him not wanting to pay more taxes to this disgusting government we call the Labour party. The issue is this man is more concerned at saving more money then he is to being with his family which is the only concern here. Who gives a shit about someone not wanting to pay more tax on top of the amount we pay already.

I think if you want to save your marriage, you are going to have to leave your job, uproot your children and move to Dubai. Otherwise, given what you’ve said about your husband, stay where you are and expect your marriage to come to an end, sooner or later, hopefully after your children have finished their education.

He is well known for how friendly he is towards women. Someone in the gym recently accused him of making things up about one of these females to stop other men speaking to her. ( She is very attractive, 10 years younger and sees to have plenty of money). I have told him I don’t like this friendships but he carries on.

Sounds like your marriage is ultimately doomed so I wouldn't be going anywhere with him and putting myself in a vulnerable position. Let him go - it doesn't sound like you can stop him. Just be prepared for the marriage to founder.

who put this government in power in the first place? . I find all this nonsense of fleeing due to tax preposterous.

Fair point. Obviously I believe he should be committed to his family and be faithful.

The people via a GE

It sounds like this is a soft divorce for him. I’d be heartbroken at him being ok with only seeing his children in summer holidays.

after holidays /two houses how much money is he going to save?

I used to live in Dubai before dc and looking back, I do miss it and wish I had brung my children up there.

On the whole, it’s a safe place. I used to walk around at 3am after finishing work to do my grocery shopping and never once felt unsafe. No worries of knife crime or drugs.

HOWEVER, be very wary of you and DH divorced, the courts are very much in your favour. Children can be travel banned by the father. I’m not sure if this only applies if the husband is a Muslim but definitely something to look into.

Consider the costs. It’s expensive bringing children up in Dubai and bills can be astronomical. Air conditioning is very expensive. I was paying £200 on air conditioning per month for a 1 bed flat in the summer months and didn’t have it on most of the time.

They have massive oil and natural gas reserves

Good on them. Though only 1% of their economy is from that

He is well known for how friendly he is towards women. Someone in the gym recently accused him of making things up about one of these females to stop other men speaking to her. ( She is very attractive, 10 years younger and sees to have plenty of money). I have told him I don’t like this friendships but he carries on
Dear gods! My previous post stands, he’s got one foot out of the door already.
I know someone whose husband worked in Dubai for 4 years, she regularly traveled out to see him. She said nearly all of the men he worked with, in his situation with a wife at home, had a woman on the side, beautiful women who knew that the men were out there alone.
I wouldn’t trust your DH one bit OP, I bet he said that you and the children come too knowing full well you’d say no.
Wasn’t there a similar thread a few months ago?
🤔

As a general point, I think people have every right to vote with their feet when it comes to their own money.

It's very easy to be sanctimonious when you're less clobbered by huge tax hikes.

The problem with ideals like yours is that you eventually run out of other people's money (they leave the country).

I say this as someone who's skint as fuck, with a couple of teens- but I appreciate the need for meritocracy, business incentives and so forth, to allow people who excel in these areas to flourish (and still contribute a fuck-tonne more than any of us to buffer the country, even before these tax changes)

Sorry, OP, not much help to you as I make no comment about whether this should be done from the POV of your family.

No. They have invested very wisely in infrastructure, but oil revenues continue to account for 33% of GDP (Economy of the United Arab Emirates - Wikipedia) - down from 85% in 2009.

Does it quack like a duck? How, exactly?

High casualties are terrible and surely at least partly avoidable. But they do not equal genocide.

Thank you

He has another woman

After all your updates I am wondering whether he is trying to engineer a divorce, and one that would be more favourable to him than to you.

Sorry OP, I wish I had something more positive to say. It might serve you to hire a private detective and get proof of his “reputation” and get a divorce that’s better for you and your kids.

We all have a responsibility to society, too, although it sounds like you're the kind of person who doesn't believe in that.

I do sympathise with people wanting to avoid tax at the moment though. The issue is the government is wasting our taxes. The amount we pay should be improving our NHS, schools, housing : why not? The royal family are creaming off tax too.

This
Is your username a Madame Butterfly reference? Possibly relevant in this situation...husband definitely seems a bit dodgy
.