Husband wants to move to dubai

[Dilemma87]

My husband is a businessman in property and with the recent proposed tax changes and new rules putting limits on how long he can keep doing things from the UK, he’s now saying he needs to move to Dubai and operate from there.

We actually have some friends there, and his business partner is already based out there, so on paper it all sounds easy enough. His plan is to buy a second property in Dubai and move there by himself, while I stay here with the kids.

The problem is, the children are really settled one’s in high school and the other is due to start soon, so moving them just isn’t an option. He’s suggested that we (me and the kids) fly out to Dubai every school holiday to spend time with him.

The catch is, under his visa he can only be out of Dubai for 90 days a year, so he’d basically have to live there full-time.

AIBU to think this is just not going to work long-term? I can’t help but feel like this is the start of living completely separate lives.

What about having a moral compass?

These Muslim countries treat women as second class citizens. In theory they have equal rights but sharia courts take precedence over the laws of the land.
Add to that the massive modern slavery issues they have (all ignored in the west as it is asians predominantly and not black people being exploited). Not to mentions gays, democracy campaigners and so on

Anyone moving to these countries has zero scruples.

This. In a years time or more when he has a girlfriend in Dubai, his income is offshore and his assets also, you will have huge difficulty. I would see a solicitor to establish just what your rights will be especially if you are a SAHM and what happens when your kids leave school. Is the house jointly owned?

What's their "fair share"? Substantially larger than everyone else's? They already pay the most.

"Outsource their responsibilities" - paying people a wage?

Trusts are all legal.

I think that's good advice. He's going to have ample opportunity to boost his own wealth, not necessarily yours.

Why does everyone assume he's going to neglect family?

Surely their business he does is to provide for the family?

If DH even said he was moving to the other side of the city we live in and would "see us in the holidays", I would want to divorce him.

It seems a lot of people on this thread value money over their DH.

So you don't think he has an accountant to advise how to 'minimise' tax? The fact that he is now faced with paying tax on these Dubai properties indicates this.

Yes, paying people a lower wage than himself to carry out his responsibilities. Leaving his share of parenting and life tasks to a spouse or other family member that receive no compensation for it.

Wealthy people will always have more resources to pay their tax than poorer people. They pay tax at a higher percentage rate for parts of their salary than lower earning people. They still have more funds available to do so.

It astounds me how many lower earning people supoort the Tories or Reform against their own interests, as they seem to believe their own big payday is just around the corner (it's not).

?? The UK has always had taxation on all world wide earnings, unless you are non UK citizen, but yes, now they are making it the same for UK and non UK passport holders. Note that almost all countries in the world tax like this - UK was always the exception, which is why we have so many tax exiles from Russia/ Sweden/ Middle East etc.

It is what married men do their family become a dim and distant memory. I worked in the ME, with few if any exception married men live the bachelor life while out there, hide the ow/party life whilst wife and dc visit and carry on once they return home.

Either split or go with him op.

The OP's DH wanted the whole family to move but DC are settled here with school.

Would you divorce him for even opening up the discussion?

No weed stink, no stabbings, no crowds of teens with their faces covered, no terrorist attacks
a russian couple were kidnapped and found unalived in middle of the desert just a few days ago.
it’s still a lot safer than many other cities but dodgy things do happen there too like any other place.

I think a move with younger children for a few years is actually a good thing , definitely not when they are older and preparing for GCSEs , when children get to that later stage majority move back, or just non working spouse with children. or children are sent to boarding schools.

OP, that's not a partnership and it's not a marriage. So you need to do everything with the kids and he enjoys essentially a single life? Nope. The fact that this is even an option means your marriage is in a pretty poor place. With the part about him being "friendly" with other women, this would undoubtedly be the end of your marriage.

My ex husband did the same op and before I knew it I found myself living in Sharjah.

Hated every minute.

What Emirate is he considering?

'No weed stink, no stabbings, no crowds of teens with their faces covered, no terrorist attacks'

Yes just loads of tax dodging, cheating married men. Might be safer at the moment stabbing wise but it is still a grim, grim place.

This! He needs proper tax advice. My friend did this and got hammered by the tax man. If you leave a home and family behind it really complicates things.

I'd minimise my tax bill legally if I could.

I assume if the husband money's he'd be sending his wife money to take care of things in the UK. Yes of course you pay employees, that's how a business works.

Wealthy people are the wealth creators and fund the country's tax bill.

We are an additional rate paying household.

Where would you rather having your daughter walking around at night?

Definitely not here.

So he wanted you all to go but if you won't he'll just go by himself, a man who loved his wife and DC more than his money wouldn't make that choice Op. You'll be here keeping the family going and he'll live the life of a single man in Dubai. There are so ways this could all go wrong.

I've lived in Dubai. It's full of married people with the family at home in their country of residence - and it's affair central for that exact same reason. If your husband goes out there alone, experience shows me there's a good chance he'll find himself a new woman. Prostitution is also absolutely rife in Dubai. And it's built on the back of slavery and is a truly horrible place beneath the glitzy surface. Oh and it's not actually tax free either.

I think the cheating issue is a sensible one.

He needs to properly do his research, so many people move to Dubai and think its all great and you can make loads of money but quite a few end up coming back skint. Its full of get rich quick schemes and dodgy business dealings which as non local with no connections you could end up in jail over while your local "contact" goes free

Here. Their laws and rules are archaic. Looks all glossy and snazzy yes but like Saudi if you upset the wrong person or are perceived to have committed an offence you are snookered. No rights at all.

It's just all so morally wrong, dodge tax in a country renowned for human rights issues have a maid and a nice car yes but at what cost? Usually the happiness of the wife and kids sat haplessly at home.

OP, be realistic and listen to your gut...you won't make it to old age as a couple. Presumably he has checked this plan with a financial/international tax expert? The UK can tax it's citizens world wide, unless they meet certain criteria, including having close family ties in the country they're now living in. How will he meet that criteria if you and his children continue living in the UK?

There is nothing wrong with going elsewhere to protect the fruits of your labour. They pay school gees, council tax, road tax, probably have private healthcare …… in addition to things like defend funds they probably largely contribute to the welfare of others, including those who choose not to work for whatever reason. In Dubai, there is no welfare but you choose how you live and pay for yourself.

Although if you work it out so he spends 90 days per year here living as a family with you, and you spend 63 days per year there (all school hols (except August which PP’s here say would be unbearable due to the weather) the children will see him nearly half the time. But what you and they will miss is living as a family through the highs, lows, the mundane, exciting, the worrying and the small round moments that constitute family life. He will see them on highdays and holidays and a few weeks in termtime (if he honours this and other commitments don’t seem more important than being there to do the school run, the supermarket shop, the midweek meals etc) I think you should all go or all stay or you will become a de facto one parent family. Our kids childhoods are long days and short years. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.