Husband wants to move to dubai

[Dilemma87]

My husband is a businessman in property and with the recent proposed tax changes and new rules putting limits on how long he can keep doing things from the UK, he’s now saying he needs to move to Dubai and operate from there.

We actually have some friends there, and his business partner is already based out there, so on paper it all sounds easy enough. His plan is to buy a second property in Dubai and move there by himself, while I stay here with the kids.

The problem is, the children are really settled one’s in high school and the other is due to start soon, so moving them just isn’t an option. He’s suggested that we (me and the kids) fly out to Dubai every school holiday to spend time with him.

The catch is, under his visa he can only be out of Dubai for 90 days a year, so he’d basically have to live there full-time.

AIBU to think this is just not going to work long-term? I can’t help but feel like this is the start of living completely separate lives.

OP I think that’s really hard and interesting he’s never framed it as moving as a family which objectively makes more sense.
We considered a move to the ME but it’s so expensive (you seem to have a lot more money than us so may not be an issue!) and the lifestyle is a bit too consumerist for us- we love the countryside and outdoors.

Interestingly for those saying teens are better off there in some ways yes but I work for a uni and I’ve had a few students from Dubai starting recently. I always ask new students how they’re finding our city and are they settling in (wherever they’re from!) and the couple from Dubai both said virtually the same thing- they feel so free. They can say what they want, think what they want, dress how they like. They can jump on a bus into town alone and wander round with their mates. It’s a freedom they didn’t feel they had there. Interesting!

Ireland is most definitely not a tax haven. (I pay tax in both the UK and Ireland).

People eventually come back , friends moved to Milan , saying UK is finished blah blah., they came back a year later ,plus what happens if some of these taxe policies are reversed will we see an influx of people returning?

Could you negotiate with him? Put the idea on ice until all kids are at Uni and then have a rethink about the best plan?

This! ⬆️

People willing to sacrifice seeing their own kids so they can pay less tax....

I grew up in the seventies when the rich paid more tax and it was far from a paradise but people had homes. The school I went to adjoined a "notorious" council estate and while many of the kids were obviously poor they and their families weren't forced to live in one room.

How have things improved since we all started obsessing about tax above all else?

''@Truetoself
Hmm why is he happy to live in Dubai by himself and you and the kids remain here just to avoid the rise in taxes??''

Exactly.

He is putting himself and money above the welfare of his family.

It is bizarre that he would expect you to take care of the kids on your own in the UK and ''commute'' to Dubai so he can have an easy life.

Not to mention the ethical aspect of refusing to pay tax in the UK to move to a country that is iffy on human and women's rights.

In your shoes I would actually consider that the relationship is over.

If your family happens to be one of those who has a disabled child you'll need the state's help quickly enough.

HE wants to leech off the system. Pay no taxes toward a state which provides free education
and healthcare for his kids.
He said marriage vows and family is just that - a unit. If he moves you would all have to go for it to work but I don’t think Dubai is better than the uk for your kids prospects.

HE wants to leech off the system. Pay no taxes toward a state which provides free education
and healthcare for his kids.

There's plenty that already do that as they live their lives on state handouts.

Just because other people also do it, it doesn’t make it ok. It stinks. I cannot understand the lack of morals or pride.

Perfectly said @Goldwren1923

Of course people would like lower taxes. Anyone can say it. They won’t be able to - they’re lying fraudsters.

One thing this thread has taught me, is that I never want to go to Dubai. The type of people who I would meet, I’d just rather not.

Sorry trying to keep up. Didn’t expect it to blow up this much.

He proposed we all move to Dubai. I’d didn’t want to uproot the kids. I also love my job here in the UK.

He is well known for how friendly he is towards women. Someone in the gym recently accused him of making things up about one of these females to stop other men speaking to her. ( She is very attractive, 10 years younger and sees to have plenty of money). I have told him I don’t like this friendships but he carries on.

We have a family home but had recently started renovating a larger one which will continue for the moment.

I couldn’t afford the schools fees or lifestyle if he was to leave me which does worry me as I have a child from a previous relationship so know the struggle.

I do have concerns that our relationship will be over but this would provide us more financial security in our old age

I absolutely would not move myself and DC to Dubai, for a wide range of reasons, including the fact that if you then split up you would be unable to leave with DC unless DH agreed.

I think this marriage is over.

Gosh OP is dont like the sound of this at all. This doesn't look much like a marriage. Does he not think this will have a negative effect on the children ?

Yes. This.

I don't like Dubai. Wouldn't move there. But can absolutely see the attraction from a tax pov.

Every time I see things like - the number of families that are taking international holidays when also 'needing' to claim child benefit.

To Dubai? And the country will go to the dogs if those who should be paying their wack leave it like a sinking ship.

Given he’ll have to pay for some where to live over there, as well as keep his family in the UK, how much will he save?

That was my immediate thought too. Plus the multiple air fares.

He's absenting himself from being a husband and father for the vast majority of the time, while he gets to live the Dubai high life. Meanwhile you will carry all the domestic and parenting load. I can't even imagine a loving husband and father choosing to do this to his wife and children .

You obviously want to stay together because of the family unit, but you're well aware what this will entail. Already he's lying and manipulating stories about young women at the gym. He'll love it in Dubai because he will have limitless opportunities, and he won't even need to lie.
You're going to need to decide where your boundaries are and what you're prepared to put up with.

Sorry to say this but do you really think he’s going to stay married to you long term once he’s moved to Dubai?

He’s clearly not bothered about seeing you and the kids so little, he has form for “friendships” with other women, and he’ll quickly do the maths about how much it’s costing to support two homes. If he’s someone who prioritises maximising his wealth over family, then why would he keep supporting a wife he hardly sees.

I don’t think you should be seeing this as a way of life that will make your family better off. It’s a way for him to be better off for sure.

Sorry to be harsh but I think him moving to Dubai will be the end.

No it won’t. It will provide ‘him’ financial security. He is slimy. You need to start making plans to protect yourself.

Yes, good point.

@Dilemma87 It will provide him with more wealth. Please do not leave your job that you love for this man.

The fact he is considering this, without the other stuff about 'friendships', sows that he is not a team player.

I think where we live the UK is a shit show, I don’t really like Dubai however I’d move elsewhere if I could with my daughter. As I say I don’t earn enough to pay taxes as a single parent on 16 hours per week however I would do all I can to avoid paying such ridiculous prices.