Husband wants to move to dubai

[Dilemma87]

My husband is a businessman in property and with the recent proposed tax changes and new rules putting limits on how long he can keep doing things from the UK, he’s now saying he needs to move to Dubai and operate from there.

We actually have some friends there, and his business partner is already based out there, so on paper it all sounds easy enough. His plan is to buy a second property in Dubai and move there by himself, while I stay here with the kids.

The problem is, the children are really settled one’s in high school and the other is due to start soon, so moving them just isn’t an option. He’s suggested that we (me and the kids) fly out to Dubai every school holiday to spend time with him.

The catch is, under his visa he can only be out of Dubai for 90 days a year, so he’d basically have to live there full-time.

AIBU to think this is just not going to work long-term? I can’t help but feel like this is the start of living completely separate lives.

leave

I think in your situation I would think really carefully about what is realistic for your marriage.

it is quite noticeable in my kids private school that lots of the parents have had a stint abroad at some point to be able to provide the funding for it. I also know a few parents who have lived abroad for a long time but the wife brings the kids back for a while for education purposes and secondary exams.

We are currently considering DH leaving for a bit to secure our financial future. This is both via direct money earned and also for the improvement in career prospects. I have always said no up until now and he respects that. But the kids are older now so it feels doable.

However, I am not worried that he has a wandering eye. I can see that this type of arrangement is very normal for people in this industry. And we are both very committed to our children avoiding boarding schools.

Some of the outraged people on here clearly have no understanding of financial incentives work. It really shouldn’t come as a surprise to people that high earners are motivated by money more than your average earner. They will therefore act accordingly. We need a mix of people in our society and that includes people who can generate wealth for the country.

So you're objecting to people having an issue with countries not respecting basic human rights just because people in those countries are not out on the streets protesting against democracy, freedom of speech, having human rights laws? 🙃

And why would you make the assumption that I'm left wing because I'm against sharia law? You could make the assumption that I'm far right on that basis.

I'm a feminist who is also supportive of homosexuals right to not be thrown into prison/being executed for whom they happen to love.

To be fair when a person chooses to publish their family's tax dodge plans to the population of the globe then it will attract some responses from those who disagree with the principle

I suspect he’s already got one foot out of the door and will do just whatever he likes 🤷🏼‍♀️ OP.

Isn't Ireland a tax haven? Maybe I have that wrong, but if not move there instead?

Oh and sorry but your marriage is dodgy brothers. 90 days a year!!!

What responsibilities 🤣
Your responsibility is to yourself and your family
You sound like a slave for a government
The government will steal from your pension pot if needed
And you will never be thanked for your service 😂

Play along while you get a forensic accountant to find all his assets then tell him that if he goes it'll be after a divorce.

If it quacks like a duck
Its a duck
There's no complicated issue
The issue is crystal clear as day

You know I am also moving in 4 years (not to Dubai but another country with very low taxes). Eventually you’ll all be better off, let him go. Also it’s good that the government sees people leave so hopefully they understand that we’re sick and tired of paying for the workshy, I am putting everything in motion now to go. Sorry you will lose my tax revenues

Maybe they'll wake up after they get rich?
Rather convenient that you woke up after fleecing many countries dry isn't it?
Not that I agree in exploiting people, but to pretend that the west became moral is hillarious.
The reality was, world war 2 happened and they no longer had the ability to continue with the way they did things.
And, when they do have the opportunity, they still do it.
They want to Iraq under false premises, and fleeced it dry.
Did you know that?
Like why do you think there's inflation and economical issues today in the west?
Cuz it's not so easy to exploit other countries anymore 😏

My friend moved there last year. Her teenage son is desperate to come home. She messaged me last night to say they can’t wait to come home for Christmas so they can breathe some fresh air.

There’s more to life than money. How can he think about living away from you all. His priorities are all wrong. So sad.

I don't get this at all. Things won't be 'hard' for them, they'll have to pay more tax.

I don't think they'll be living hand to mouth. We do not live in a meritocracy. Wealth is hoarded by people that make selfish decisions and prioritise money over everything else.

OP's DH is a case in point @Dilemma87 , I would not move there, I would not holiday there. I would strongly discourage my DH from going there.

Look up Dubai's laws before making statements like these. Comparing Dubai and the UK is beyond ignorant.

Given he’ll have to pay for some where to live over there, as well as keep his family in the UK, how much will he save?

Look at the worst case scenario. If he moves away to Dubai and decides he prefers the single life, what will your financial situation be? Will you be able to support your children if he stops sending money? I doubt child support is enforceable if he lives abroad. If you then took the children to visit him, what would happen if he decided to keep them? As other posters have pointed out, Dubai has very different laws to the UK.

I think your DH doesn’t have you or the DC at the front of his mind. While he is still playing nicely, you need to get finances sorted.

That is exactly why middle England are getting hit with tax rises,the rich getting out of paying taxes that they should pay!

Yeah because calling a woman a woman is so ignorant.

Your husband is asking for a divorce, but he’s giving it a shiny new look.
He wants to move to Dubai to live the single life, he’ll pay maintenance back to you & see the kids 6 times per year. Not a chance in hell I’d agree to that.
This guy isn’t a family man. He’s bored of family life & wants to live the single life in Dubai. Once you agree to this, if you catch him cheating he’ll blame you for not coming. Except it’s not your fault.

Exactly this! The loophole is closing, as it should. There is such a strange reverance and deferance towards wealthy people in this country. We let them get away with murder, while turning our attention to (mostly mythical) lazy people on benefits, who are literally a fraction of the main problem.

The altar of the Big Job should be destroyed. It is not tax efficient for families to have one high earner. It is not good for women or children. When these Important Big Job men leave their families, they leave a woman with no career, no pension, reliant of state support to eat.

This is another MN blind spot where all should be sacrifriced for DH's job. He can be away from home and responsibilities for as long as he wants, as long as he is doing paid work. The children will be in therapy as adults and their mum will be living in reduced circumstances.

So you have private healthcare, private education for your kids, drive on your own private roads, have your own private military defences, monitor your own environment and food standards, maintain your own private ports, have your own private police and fire response?

If not, maybe think about what's being done for you, instead of just your own (I'm sure, massive and financially significant) contributions.

One, they are a bunch of amateurs who absolute promise absolute pie in the sky without a faintest idea whether it can be delivered and how. 350M on a bus and Brexit should be enough to demonstrate what damage this can cause. There is no way they will be able to actually lower taxes.

Two, they stoke racism and xenophobia- whether because they are really racist or because it’s just means to an end, doesn’t matter.

so, they are vile and their supporters if not racist are stupid with memory of a goldfish

It's like having Ayn Rand on the thread. I love the way you have criticised a couple of posters of being angry while you have been spamming threads with your libertarian right wing views. You obviouslly disagree with having a welfare state and you support the 'survival of the fittest', 'sink or swim' philosophy.

Dubai sounds the perfect place for OP's DH and I'm sure you'd fit in well too.

Another follower. Good. Keep following. You might learn something too. There is hope for you yet.

Sooo… your actual job is tax funded but paying tax is bad? That is ridiculous.

anyway read your updates and he’s almost certainly leaving you to enjoy ‘female friends’ in the women’s rights hellscape of his new life. If he’s wealthy, make sure he pays off the mortgage and gives you a lump sum first as otherwise you’ll have a very different life once he leaves.

I 100% both believe people should be allowed to live and work wherever they are legally allowed (I’m an immigrant!) but also 100% would never spend any of ‘my’ time or money in Dubai due to their treatment of women, gay people, etc. etc. But that’s my choice, not yours.