Husband wants to move to dubai

[Dilemma87]

My husband is a businessman in property and with the recent proposed tax changes and new rules putting limits on how long he can keep doing things from the UK, he’s now saying he needs to move to Dubai and operate from there.

We actually have some friends there, and his business partner is already based out there, so on paper it all sounds easy enough. His plan is to buy a second property in Dubai and move there by himself, while I stay here with the kids.

The problem is, the children are really settled one’s in high school and the other is due to start soon, so moving them just isn’t an option. He’s suggested that we (me and the kids) fly out to Dubai every school holiday to spend time with him.

The catch is, under his visa he can only be out of Dubai for 90 days a year, so he’d basically have to live there full-time.

AIBU to think this is just not going to work long-term? I can’t help but feel like this is the start of living completely separate lives.

What part of "... idle their engines for no reason" did you not understand?

How is the government funded, if not by taxes?

Life is not as simplistic as a straight yes and no. I bet many of those people who are criticising OP's husband for 'avoiding' tax would actually seriously consider a move abroad this if they were given an opportunity with life changing money opportunities. At the end of the day life is too short.

We didn’t. Some people take their responsibilities seriously, recognise how fortunate they are and don’t begrudge taxes.

Thank you, it's good to consider this a bit further. It's a horribly tangled conflict and very hard to make definitive statements about.

The UN and ICJ are sadly not as trustworthy as they should be. Remember that the UN is influenced by Muslim and Arab countries who hate Israel and have a vested interest in making it out to be a genocide. Palestinians are being used as a wedge by a lot of countries. There is also strong evidence that UN agencies like UNWRA in the conflict zone have been infiltrated by Hamas, and thus may not be giving an accurate picture of events to higher-ups.

The ICJ is a similar story.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=www.fdd.org/analysis/2024/02/19/the-icjs-new-chief-judge-has-a-history-of-bias-against-israel/&ved=2ahUKEwjO_qe7r-aQAxXPRvEDHdynH1U4ChAWegQIPBAB&usg=AOvVaw3NlAj8-zUsq4Skjhg90Yfo

You should also remember that Hamas are assiduously promoting the genocide narrative using Qatari money at US universities, particularly in Arab/Middle Eastern studies programmes.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=www.ft.com/content/d0a16f75-8b05-4ff9-b5f1-d473d7f5a704&ved=2ahUKEwi0jdCGsOaQAxWnVkEAHVnSBdIQFnoECGEQAQ&usg=AOvVaw38BgWgzelxwY8de69c2kcE

All this means that while I view a lot of Israel's military actions with moral abhorrence, I am suspicious of genocide allegations. The evidence I have seen does not point to genocide.

Another comparison could be to the Vietnam War, where the US rained bombs, including deadly chemical bombs, on Vietnam and Cambodia, more bombs than fell during WW2 and 2 million civilians died. They were similarly fighting an enemy who strategically hid among civilians. But it was not genocide because they did not, and were not, seeking to eliminate the Vietnamnese people.

He's going to turn into a Dubai bachelor fuckboi to avoid tax and totally opt out of family life. He'll set himself up with a nice pad and an Instagram girlfriend whilst you raise his kids back in the UK like a mug.

Please don't even contemplate this OP. His business is in UK property, he's making money out of the UK its absolutley reasonable that he should pay tax for the privilege.

I can't believe people are so selfish. How is this a life OP? Your kids don't deserve a Dad who doesn't want to live with them and help raise them. Money can't buy you love and happiness.

Good for you. And I really do applaud you for doing that. But there is no need to be so negative to the point of calling people 'scum' like some posters have done for people who chose a different lifestyle.

I do think taxes are wasted here though by the useless government. I think people should stay here and try & change things. Just like people here who are anti-immigration (which I am myself) say that immigrants should 'be brave and change things in your country'.

But I get why people move. They should go somewhere better than Dubai. There are several they could choose.

Not sure if you are living in some kind of ideological fantasy land or if you just don’t understand fiscal reality.

Personally, I would not go to live on Dubai, I wouldn't take my kids to live there. If you do read up about child custody battles when you live your kids abroad.

He will have to pay income on money earnt in the UK.

He's doing the fuckboi lifestyle for sure.

I'd be actively concerned about moving if my rights as a mother were then changed, I think you need to check this thoroughly

He's paying UK tax.

Nope nice try, judging by the whining on here it is exactly that.
Are you having trouble reading other posts.

I too am extremely disquieted by that. But that by itself doesn't mean that Israel is committing genocide, or wants to.

There's considerable evidence of Israel trying to minimise civilian casualties, they have also allowed a considerable amount of humanitarian aid in (though I agree not nearly enough) and a large amount of people to leave. None of this is consistent with genocide.

The Gaza health ministry gives a civilian death toll of 69, 000. This is horrific, but such a high number does not equal genocide (see below), if it occurred because Israel was legitimately aiming to target Hamas fighters who were using Gazans as human shields. If that's what Israel was trying to do, then that is legal and not genocide. So far, I think that is what is going on.

For comparison, the Allied bombing of Germany killed 410, 000 civilians at least.
The US bombing of Vietnam and Cambodia killed at least 80, 000 civilians, and probably many more. The US wartime bombing of Japan killed at least 400, 000 Japanese (that includes the atomic bombs). High numbers of civilian deaths should make us question whether any of these were justified. I think the WW2 examples were, but we should never just accept without question. However, none of them were genocide.

That right there, shows what his motive is. I would not allow it. I wouldn't even want to visit that vile place even for a holiday. I would never allow my children to go there. I look down on anyone who goes there for a holiday. Does business there? I'd wipe them from my life. The fact your husband wants to move to such a place says that he is planning on playing the field with these females.

You need to do one thing. Ultimatum. Tell him if he goes there, you'll file for divorce. Just know though that he is probably hoping you'll say that. By the sounds of it that's his intent. I'd make him choose though and make it his decision so the onus is on him.

Another thing you may wish to consider. If you moved there and the marriage broke down, the law always sides with the man, even if he was at fault.

I don’t think this is a good relationship move especially not after your post about DH enjoying female friends!!

in terms of tax avoidance, to all those outraged, it’s no worse than the people in the UK who don’t work and live off benefits when they actually could work but prefer not to (not those who have disabilities that prevent them working).

Plenty of posters probably disagree strongly with that too, though.

That's interesting you dislike Reform, who want to lower tax : would you mind saying why? Is it due to concern that Reform and/or its support base are racist?

I don't think Reform themselves are as a whole are racist: unless they just have prominent people like Laila Cunningham (parents are Egyptian immigrants), Linden Kemkaran (father is an Indo-Jamaican immigrant) and others just as a smokescreen.
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2025/apr/20/ive-been-assaulted-reform-uk-bame-candidates-seeking-local-election-wins

Otoh I do definitely think that there's a very racist section of Reform supporters who love Tommy Robinson and think only white people can be patriotic Brits. It's telling that one of the men interviewed in the above article left this month because of that kind of concern.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2025/oct/23/reform-only-black-branch-chair-quits-over-harmful-migration-debate

So having more money is more important to him than family life? Is that a value that you share?

I don't think splitting up the family while your children are at high school is a good plan. Can he not take the hit on the tax for the next few years, then you can move over together after the kids are through? It will cost him money, but surely the point of being a successful businessperson is to enable you to live the life you want? If that doesn't include his family, then he should have the guts to ask for a divorce and the subsequent split in assets that will entail.

I haven't RTFT except for the first page and all your responses, so apologies if I'm repeating anything.

A former colleague of mine did just this in the mid 2000s. 3 years in Abu Dhabi and 2 years in Dubai. Wife stayed in UK with their two teenagers. He didn't have a business, but went to work in finance for oil companies. He flew back as much as he could and they would fly out to him.
Those 5 years of working a highly paid job paying no income tax has given his family such a strong financial future.
And also, my brother and his wife, whilst not in Dubai, have never paid more than 8% income tax (usually it's been around 5%)in the countries they have lived in for the past 25 years. Their income has always been comparable to mine and DHs, but financially they are in a different league.
We'd love to get out of the UK to better our lives too, but we're both responsible for our ageing DMs. We simply do not have the heart to leave them and our kids are happy in the UK.

Apart from the business aspect of it. Sounds like your husband wants to be a single man.

That is a bit vomit-worthy, miss Dubai. Sure the Philipino mum is desperate to come to Dubai and live her children behind, just like the men from so many poverty stricken nations jump up one morning and feel like going to Dubai. You cannot be real.