AIBU to think this tutor has an attitude?

[SoCloseToNothing1981]

First time posting on here (long-time lurker). I'm not sure what I'm looking for here tbh, maybe just a hand-hold or just (brutally) honest opinions, but I'm just feeling a bit weird about a Zoom call I had with my DS' history tutor yesterday. I might be overreacting but it's just left a bad taste in my mouth.

Me and DH decided to get DS a tutor for GCSE History. He's in Year 11 and he's had a bit of a shit time with the course. When he was choosing his options in year 9, his history teacher did recommend that he do geography instead because his essay-writing and memory surrounding dates was not good (he did roughly the same in terms of achievement in both history and geography). The thing is he is interested in it, but he just can't remember key dates very well. The thing is he wants to do history at A Level. I feel bad for him because he likes the subject, but he's just not very good at it and obviously that's problematic if he is considering this subject as a potential academic or career pathway.

So we meet this tutor and he says in our initial meeting with him that tutoring is to complement ongoing revision. I don't agree with this because I view tutoring as teaching my DS how to revise. The tutor says that he likes to do a baseline assessment with the students so he can determine their areas they need work on, which again I found a bit overkill because why are you already testing DS when you haven't taught him how to revise yet?? We scheduled a lesson for later that week, but DS was running a little bit late as he'd woken up late so we only had 30 minutes of a lesson with the tutor (it's all done on Zoom). DS thought he had been working on the Cold War that week in school and so the tutor set him some questions on the Cold War. DS, bless him, really struggled with the first question so didn't have time to look at the rest of the questions. The tutor ran through the questions with DS, and that was when DS realised he hadn't actually done the Cold War and he'd gotten the name confused with something else.

The tutoring has been going on for 2 months, and the tutor scheduled a Zoom call with me to basically tell me that we may want to reconsider choosing History as an A Level option. This really caught me off guard, and it came across as him telling me how to parent my child! He said that there are loads of issues regarding essay-writing and analysing sources and interpretations, and whilst he is totally happy to support DS with this he can't ignore the fact that if these skills aren't being mastered in Year 11 history then this is going to severely set DS back when he starts Year 12. I ask the tutor about what revision methods he has taught DS, and the tutor said that the subject knowledge is a key area of weakness, and DS apparently said to him that he doesn't make notes in the lessons because his teacher isn't good. I said to the tutor that I think DS just needs to be taught how to create his own quizzes, and how to create flashcards and mindmaps. The tutor said that with mocks coming up those "knowledge gaps" need to be filled in. But I'd prefer him to prioritise teaching DS how to revise history, and if I'm asking for a particular service surely I should receive it?

So, AIBU to think this tutor has a bit of an attitude and is overstepping the mark a bit? I don’t need him to tell us which subjects DS should or shouldn’t do at sixth form, I just want him to teach DS how to revise properly!

Her tips are that she has always attended all lessons and lectures; done her reading and made copious notes. Then as the exams approach she re reads her notes from lectures or lessons, and condenses the key points on to index cards. She then reads those and then condenses further until all the course key quotes dates are on a small set of cards. I used to test her on these cards (Alevel) and she would know everything . She would also do timed essays at home from past papers as the exam approached.

This is an excellent explanation of basic revision techniques which I myself followed. I became the absolute mistress of the 45 minute essay until I could have written a 1st class answer in my sleep. Examination skills are as important as subject knowledge. Its not simply about remembering dates and facts. Key skills are reading the question carefully, identifying keywords, planning your answer, and communicating your knowledge clearly. Time management is also fundamental.

As a teacher, the tutor is giving you sound advice here. Listen. You sound really over bearing. It's too late to be taught how to revise in year 11.

The fact that he didn't know it wasn't the Cold War he was studying is worrying.....

Definitely do not do History at A Level.

Why does he want to take it at A-level? He doesn't sound interested in it - now that could be partly the syllabus he has, in that he's not keen on that bit of history, but you don't get a choice about that - it's down to AQA or whichever board it is.

It is a subject where you need to take in a lot of information, and if he is not managing that at GCSE, he'd be mad to do it at A-level, even if he got a high enough grade to be allowed to. He'll be limited in the number of subjects he can do at A-level anyway - he should do things where he does remember more easily and pick it up.

If he really enjoys history (doesn't really sound like it,) he doesn't have to do it academically. Go to museums - I was a junior member of my local museum and spent my holidays going to museums (still do.) He can read the many, many books on myriad different areas of history without having to write about it. Take exams in subjects he's likely to do better in.

And of course the tutor needs to take a baseline assessment. He needs to know if he's aiming to get someone from an 8 to a 9, or a 4 to a 6, or just a 3 instead of ungraded. There's going to be a different focus on how he does the tutoring accordingly.

A tutors job is to teach subject matter.

School, at some point, should have taught him different methods of retaining/learning content.

Two teachers have told you history really isn't for your ds, yet still you persist.
I would be encouraging him to consider other A levels rather than flogging a dead horse

Yes, but all those skills build up from a foundation of subject knowledge. We are focusing on step 1 here ... namely, distinguishing the topic from other parts of the syllabus. Next stop knowledge, then understanding, then revision and exam skills.

He's not frustrating, he's frustrated with you! The revision technique your friend uses is basic! Your son should be able to do that by himself which leads me to believe his basic knowledge of the subject is not there.

Listen to DH....Lord.

Bold War? That washing powder advert?

Gold War? That broken jewelry ad?

Mould war? The shower spray one?

Hang on…. ROAD WARS! Reality tv at its finest. Well done DS!

I bet the tutor thinks you’re a nightmare.
They are giving you good advice regarding your son choosing A level History ie he shouldn’t !

The act of revision commits knowledge to memory. If your son doesn’t have a grasp on the knowledge, he can’t revise it. No matter how elaborate the flash card or mind map. He cannot assimilate and interpret in the first place.

I do see your point about baseline assessments but I just feel like it could have been done after teaching him some strategies rather than at the very start of the tutoring journey.

How do you expect a tutor to effectively teach your son without assessing his knowledge/ability first?

Please, please drop this obsession with 'strategies', it's not going to help your son and it's not what a history tutor is for.

That said, I really think the key is that he learns how to revise properly. If he masters that, I genuinely think he can catch up on the subject knowledge.

No, he can't. You can't learn how to research, interpret, analyse and form arguments around subjects if you don't have knowledge of the subject.

If this was the case, any child who knew how to revise properly would ace every subject.

I have sent the tutor a sample mind-map template my friend uses with her class as I thought it might help him see what I mean. He hasn't replied yet, which again is frustrating.

I expect it's more frustrating being a professional tutor, an expert in the subject who presumably has a long track record of tutoring kids to pass their History GCSEs, having to deal with a parent trying to tell him how to do his job, as though he'd never come across a mind map before.

I wouldn't reply either.

As if you get good grades just by finding this one cool trick that they refuse to tell you in school, for some reason...

It really doesn't sound like it would be a good idea for your ds to take history A level. What about something like sociology or politics instead?

I have a degree in History.

I'm going to focus on a very very VERY fundamental part of any further education in History. Bluntly, if your son cannot remember the basic names of things, has issues writing essays, cannot adequately analyse sources and has a poor grasp of dates then he (and you) are potentially setting him up for failure if he carries on with history as a subject. There is no point in the tutor teaching him how to revise history if your son isn't mastering those things. He's just papering over the cracks.

By this age your son should be making notes (I don't understand why the teacher not being good means he can't do that) and then going back to his notes at home, highlighting key points, doing further research and study on anything he doesn't understand and commiting things to memory. If he can't do that now, he's going to struggle to lean in time for the exams.

I mean, all in all, the thread gets an A for effort (unlike your DS in History). Quite entertaining if a bit unbelievable.

Did jump the shark a bit with the South Africa half-term detail though.

Thi is perfect. I could not analyse a source talking about whether a thing is good or bad if I don't have a basic understanding of that thing,

It’s pointless him “learning to revise” if he doesn’t understand the subject well enough to begin with. He doesn’t take notes, he’s on his third tutor and he couldn’t even get up in time for the first session. History is a difficult subject and being brutally honest it sounds like your son isn’t prepared to put the necessary hard work in to do well. He can’t remember key dates, well no he won’t be able to if he hasn’t learnt them properly. You need to be realistic: no tutor or revision technique is going to fix this situation and he needs to choose a different subject for a levels.

The tutors are NOT the problem OP.

I'm struggling to work out what you think your son is supposed to be revising, given that he's not even taking basic notes in class?

For what it’s worth, I believe this is 100% true as I used to tutor in the evenings and this post reminds me EXACTLY why I gave it up.

1. you need to respect the tutor’s time ie. be on time, do not reschedule lessons last minute and not expect immediate responses to emails sent between lessons
2. baseline assessments are vital - we cannot do our job without them!
3. the tutor telling you your son should reconsider A level History is managing your expectations - too many parents think paying for tutoring is the silver bullet to get their kids an A*, but even the best tutor in the world needs full engagement and commitment from the student (which it doesn’t sound like your son is giving at all). He is simply reminding you he is not a miracle maker and he has your son’s best interest at heart… I strongly suggest you heed his advise and don’t try to tell him how to do his job.

I understand it must be frustrating your son is underperforming but your frustration is totally misdirected at the tutor here, when it should be towards your son and his attitude to learning.

Everyone's so focused on the first post that they missed this absolute masterwork. OP you're absolutely brilliant.

OP, I have a history degree, I just get history in a way that fits my brain.

But for their GCSE choice I have backed my children to take geography as their humanity subject. Not because I see it as easier, but because it takes a certain mindset to deal with the large mark questions and subject matter in the current history syllabus. Plus it stands alone, whereas other subjects often link, ie business studies, DT and geography have areas which they all cover.

With as much kindness as I can muster, your child’s teacher told him he’s not a good fit, and you’re now frustrated with their third tutor. They can’t teach revision techniques to someone who can’t grasp the subject matter, there’s nothing there to revise.

If your child wants to do well at history gcse they need to knuckle down and study the syllabus before thinking about revision techniques.

I would also suggest a different A level choice, your tutor is being realistic and not trying to give false expectations, they sound good.

But I do sympathise that it’s not what you want to hear.

Others have said the same: you are letting your child go on a wild goose chase and can’t even be bothered to get him up in time for the tutor so he’s ready. I teach and I give my clients very realistic expectations- the tutor is right to do so. He is managing your son‘s expectations and assessing the discrepancy between your son‘s knowledge and where he should be at. This is an honest tutor. You’re not doing your bit as a parent and your son is being set up to fail because you aren’t advising or preparing him adequately for what’s being asked of him. Guide your son!

If he is going to struggle to get a 6 at GCSE level then A level history is not the subject for him. Or any essay subject at A level if he is only likely to get a 6 in English language. A Levels are a major step up.

FFS, A qualified teacher has advised you, two tutors have let him down, everyone to blame but you.

You are wrong, you are not listening; your son is disorganised, he cannot remember simple things. Listen to the experts you are doing him no favours. He is not capable of doing the A level. Your attitude is setting him up to fail and that would be worse.

I do find this post unbelievable, in a way I hope it is a wind up, for your sons sake.