MIL not sleeping over our house being too cold

[lilseb]

We have a 5mo baby. We've just moved into our property which has an EPC C and insulated/double glazing, but since the weather's turned cold we've found our bedroom is far too cold, unsure why and we want to get a specialist in. We are a bit sparse with heating but we put it on morning and evening to heat house up to 16c, we top up in the day if its especially cold and use heaters/fireplace in certain rooms we use more so they're warmer than the 16c (including said bedroom but this was not effective). The rest of the house is fine except this one room. Me and baby are now sleeping in spare room which is much warmer. Baby is in recommended vest sleepsuit and 2.5-3.5 tog sleeping bag for the weather.

MIL is convinced the issue is we don't put the heating on enough and having arguments with my husband about it. She's said its not good enough that we're using our dyson for heating or that me and baby have switched room and we need to have the heating on more, and she thinks 16c is too cold. She has told me and my husband separately that she is so worried about our house she's not sleeping, citing worries for my husband's asthma and our child's health. The latter has upset me because I'm trying to follow the recommended advice for temperature and I wouldn't risk my child's welfare. Husband says I'm being over sensitive, and I know she probably doesn't mean to imply it, but I do think she should be thinking through what she says.

Husband is a tightarse and I frequently ignore his moaning and switch heating on anyway - however we both feel that the issue with the bedroom is not the heating, and that we think 16c is a reasonable temperature that will keep us healthy and should keep house in good condition. I don't know if I get especially warm but I woke up last night feeling too hot and room temperature was 17c. My husband similarly is ok with cooler temperatures.

My view is its our house and our baby and MIL has said her piece so now needs to reign it in. AIBU? I know she's grandmother and I can't stop her worrying but we're already navigating a new house and new baby and could do without her rattling me. I had a conversation with her earlier which was pleasant and constructive enough and I'm hoping will nip some of this in the bud, but I don't know whether to be tougher if there's a next time.

16 Deg is far too cold with baby. She is right to be concerned, you are unreasonable.
It's ridiculously low temperature.
Ours is on 20 and some evenings give it boost to 21.

Your house sounds uncomfortably cold OP. Miserable is the correct word. Cold, empty, miserable.

Nothing better than having cosy toes. I hope one day you experience the joy.

16c that’s 🥶 🥶 🥶 We have ours at a minimum of 18c but normally 21-22c and we’re in a well insulated new build. No wonder she doesn’t want to stay over, I wouldn’t want to either.

30! Do you not roast!

In the US, the recommended safe range is 20-24 degrees. And hospitals were roasting, with all the babies swaddled in two double-folded blankets by the nurses.

We found that with the reduced activity with sitting with the baby it definitely felt chilly at the lower end of the safe range.

I’d buy one of those plug in baby glo eggs. They light up and are blue if the room is too cold for baby, yellow is within the right range and red if it’s too hot.
providing you are following guidance regarding sleepwear for baby (which it sounds like you are) I think you’d be surprised at low the temperature is at night. I’m sure ours was 16.5 or 17. During the day we set ours at 19 or 20. Sounds like MIL is thinking about what she finds cold rather than what is ok for baby.
incidentally our bedroom used to be the coldest room in the house. It had 3 outside walls which was why.

16 degrees in baby’s room when he’s sleeping is fine, having the house at 16 when you’re up and about and the baby isn’t in a gro bag is very cold and uncomfortable.

16-20 by the lullaby trust is what youre basing it on but you're picking the lowest temperature in that scale because I think youre anxious about the baby over heating 18 would be fine and more comfortable but still safe.

So set it at 20 if you're cold. I agree that overheating a baby is more dangerous than being a bit cold, but you've gone too far the other way!

There’s barely any point having heating if you only use it to 16. That is is not warm at all heading into the winter months. Mine is 18.5 to 19 for a comfortable temperature.

Wow! I can’t believe how warm people have their homes! We’ve always put it to 15C overnight. People typically sleep better when it’s cool out. In the day, we heat to 18-19C. We have 2 fireplaces, and a portable Dyson heater/cool fan if needed.

I grew up in a very cold part of Canada (Montreal). Never heated the house above 18-19C even when it was -30C.

Perhaps a portable heater for your MIL? We do have an electric mattress cover to warm up the bed before we get in. A 3.0 tog sleeping bag for the baby. Our 3 kids are all healthy and no asthma to date (they’re teens).

24 would be far too warm for me!

Cold, empty, miserable? We keep the house at 18-19C and it’s anything but. 15C overnight. I’d like it even cooler when I sleep, cozy under the duvet.

WTF! 24-30 is tropical 🌴 😆

My house is 18 and with a jumper on doing housework I am sweating! 🥵

As long as you aren’t getting black mould from damp and you are all comfortable and healthy then 16 isn’t too cold.

I do find that 15-16 does tend to not get warm enough to avoid damp and mould in the house though. 17-18 seems to be enough to avoid damp and mould.

16 degrees is cool but I’m sure the safe bedroom temperature for babies is 16-20 so unlikely to be too cold for baby as long as they are in warm jammies and blanket/grobag. If the issue is particularly with your bedroom then perhaps it’s the windows? Does it feel drafty? Get one of those gro eggs for babies that goes a certain colour if above or below safe temp for baby. That should shut her up.
It’s such a personal thing. Someone on here said they like their house to be 24- 30! To me that’s stifling. I prefer to be on the cool side or else I feel sleepy and irritable.

No it isn’t. Safe room temperature for a sleeping baby is 16-20.

Ignore all the pearl clutching. They can pay your bill if they want to pop round and put your heating on!

If you and your family are comfortable then ignore others. Some people are just OTT! We live in England, it gets cold.

I don't think you can compare. I grew up without central heating, still have none, but sleeping in cold frosty room but then getting up and sitting by the fire is different in my opinion than living in some kind of eternity of chilliness. 16degrees probably never even gets rid of the damp feel.
I totally get that people like, and are used to different temperatures but even in cold climates where people are out in the cold or the babies sleep outside it's a dry cold. In UK it's damp and chilly and miserable if you don't have a decent fire to turn on or light. 16 is only ok if it's a background temp but with a roaring fire to turn to.
Also everyone mentioned baby but what about the husband and his asthma? Chilly damp houses promote terrible mould problems.

I always heat my house up on 23 degrees then turn it down to 18-20 when it’s warmed up. 16 is absolutely freezing and won’t do anything

I need to turn down my heating if this will stop MIL wanting to stay 🤣

in all seriousness though 16 is cold. We tend to keep the heating around 18 but I always turn it up with guests coming to 20 so they are comfortable.

16 degrees is too cold and you admit to your husband being a ta.
Wouldn't be for me.
I have friends who have frequent conflict in their relationship re putting heating on.

Why do you have portable heaters if you have central heating that makes no sense.

I think her having sleepless nights over how cold your house is is absolutely ridiculous. However, you say the weather’s got colder, you don’t put the heating on and can’t understand why your bedroom is cold. It’s cold because you don’t heat it properly. If you like it cold then crack on. If you don’t, put the fucking heating on :)

I’m really tight but 16 degrees is too low, Yabu.