Is it wrong for only to get my own child Christmas presents

[Blessedone1111]

My mum is saying it’s wrong I’m not getting others presents and if I was her sister in law she would think I’m out of order for not buying her children presents. I can afford to save money to get my own child presents but I really can’t afford outside of that without going without or taking from my emergency money.

why can’t Christmas just be enjoyed celebrating with family. Why do we have to buy lots of gifts.

Am I being unreasonable? I would rather we see eachother then buy eachother gifts

You shouldn’t feel obliged to give presents and I think it’s fine to suggest that with the expectation they won’t buy presents for your child either. Children get far too much these days, most of it plastic tat that goes in the bin or charity shop. And it’s so hard to come up with ideas because they get so much already. I don’t have many to buy for and end up buying pyjamas and Lego for my nephews. Having read this thread I think presents for birthdays only makes perfect sense.

Can you be honest with your siblings about this? I think you need to be having these conversations now and explain how difficult things are for you. If you were my sister I would never want you to feel awkward about this. If you could manage to get a small token for your nieces and nephews it would be nice. Kids don’t know how much things cost. I’d trawl places like Poundland and charity shops. And temu stuff can be alright if it’s not electrical.

You have to get five gifts. They have to get one. Suddenly £40 is fine if they're happy for you to spend £10 on each...

Put £10 aside to spend in total and get them something fun from the £1 shop or similar. It's about giving not about how much you spend.

People are bu to expect you to purchase gifts you can't afford.
Tell your DM to watch Martin Lewis show and don't get into debt just to buy presents for Xmas, don't feel bad your DM is totally unreasonable.

Well instead of chipping to the food then just buy your niece a gift. That’s if she’s the only child you buy for and are not expected to chip towards food

Or a Secret Santa just for the children with a 10/15 pound limit on the gift. That way it's the kids buying for each other (The adults could do a separate one if they wish with the same limit). With a sale, something nice could be bought for just one child. Better for everyone.

My MIL made my kids a card for a special overnight stay just for them which was gifted with a bar of chocolate. Each grand child got an individual card for an overnight stay with a movie, visit to the park tailored to them in the new year. The kids loved it and asked for it for a few years and still talk about it now as a really special gift as they had something to look forward to that was just for them with family.