To take my 12 year old daughter's phone away at bedtime

[AlltheGs123]

I am battling with my 12 yo who is demanding to keep her phone in her bedroom overnight. I am saying that she needs to hand over the phone at 9.30 and it'll go on to charge until morning. All hell is breaking loose - apparently none of her friends parents do this and she sees it as controlling behaviour (!). Am I eroding her trust or am I doing the right thing?

My 13 yo has his for his alarm but downtime is set on his from 9pm so he can’t use it until his morning alarm goes on.

I didnt do this. Its one of the worst parenting decisions ive made.

I had that rule until DD was 16.

You would be a negligent parent if you did not do this.

100% the right thing to so. Both my kids phones stay downstairs at night.

I can’t believe this is even a question. Yes of course we control their phones. It would be negligent parenting not to. We have Family Link so can set the time we want it to go off.
13 year old’s is 7pm as that is when we have dinner. But I can give bonus time for example if she wants to chat to a friend.
Having phones in bedrooms all night is a terrible idea.

My kids’ phones went on charge downstairs overnight from when they first got them (aged 11) until they were 18. I think every parent should do this!

I don’t take my DDs phones away at night but they do have parental locks on them, even my 14 year old. I have said I will take the parental controls off her phone the summer after she’s finished her GCSEs

It's a sensible rule to have
Keeps them safe and is better for their sleep.

If she has an iPhone, you can set limits on the apps. So, you could have the phone ‘off’ from 19:00 - 19:00.
Or whatever you like, obviously.

You are unreasonable to be "battling" with a child. Of course she shouldn't have her phone!

My DC weren't allowed any screens in their rooms, at any time until they were 18yo.

One of the (few) decent parenting decisions I made.

Except for special occasions, my 12 year olds phone goes on charge in the kitchen before she gets in the shower each night (roughly 8pm ish).

Don’t become one of those parents who doesn’t supervise their child online. We all know who they are. The ones with the children who are messaging dd at like 3am on a random Wednesday. They have no interests besides being on TikTok. Dd has stopped being friends with them because they literally do nothing but sit on their phones.

It's OUTRAGEOUS this even needs to be asked.

You're right, there are a lot of very foolish and irresponsible parents out there who have made this an issue.

Of course you should take it away at night.

So many mobile phone relationship issues happen overnight.

No screens in bedrooms here either, phones charge in the kitchen.
1 hour per day for my 12 yr old.

Oh yeah, great idea, why not let her hang round the local shops with other early teens at night too. Give her the chance to show she can keep out of trouble and not get exposed to inappropriate behaviour from the kids and adults around her...

Phones live downstairs here, apart from DS1 (aged 18) because he doesn’t share chargers🤣.

You should actually have an adult with a phone available to them in bed overnight for emergencies etc.

How will you ring the fire brigade if all your phones are downstairs in the kitchen?

The fire brigade advise this.

All the people who leave every mobile downstairs...read above ☝️☝️☝️

For your safety have a mobile phone upstairs by your bed!

exacy. She’s 12yo a little nipper. She doesn’t get a say at all. 9:30 is far too late as well

Absolute no-brainer, you are 100% right to take it away. You should also be checking it regularly.

YANBU. No phones upstairs is the rule for our youngest who is 14.

I have parental controls on that means there’s down time on the phone at bed time. They can keep it in their room but it won’t work.

uh??? Of course you take it away - why is this even a discussion??

My kids gave me theirs to charge in my room until they were year 11. They dont need it overnight