Sister has inherited huge wealth. Help

[Hidinginthelootoo]

My sister has inherited huge wealth... multi millions. Through sad circumstances.
Myself, my younger sister and our parents are all struggling money wise, due to poor pay (work two jobs to try to help), sister is divorce, parents just pensioners. I am trying so hard to be happy for her as she spends spends spends, one day she spent £300k! I try to oo and aa over what she buys, but I'm dying inside and drowning at home. Please help me be more positive, or explain nicely how it's making me feel without ruining our relationship.

Yes I agree its legally hers.

But I don't she can, in good faith, believe that he wanted her to have it to splash about on her wider family, when they have a child. I think the fairly obvious assumption is, as you say, stewardship - possibly so the child didn't come into great wealth too early, or possibly for her to provide for the child and herself but as part of her lifestyle as the mother.

And the fact the child can't technically stop her doesn't make that any less the correct course in my eyes.

My sister and I have always been close and I cannot imagine sitting with millions in the bank while she struggles along. That’s so selfish. Would be different if we didn’t get along I suppose. I’ve never had a life changing sum of money but I’ve always imagined I’d share it with family and friends before I started spending it. It would be interesting to hear your sister’s perspective.

Was this a very recent thing? If so, cut her some slack for now. Grief is a funny thing.
You do sound like you're expecting money, but ultimately unless it's tens of millions, it won't go far if she starts spreading it out and it should primarily be for her DC. But she might well come round once she has settled into it more.
You can obviously ask her to be more sensitive though.

I think I would just ask your sister to think of others @Hidinginthelootoo

I am going to be paid a large sum for founding a company with a bunch of youngsters 5 years ago. I initially helped them for free. My parents are dead and my siblings mortgage free. I haven't been so fortunate due to repeat caring duties to our parents. I also housed them for 18 years. My siblings did nothing so I won't give them any monetary gifts however I will help their children. One is very hard up. She cares for me now I'm seriously ill.
We reap what we sow.

I will be telling no one when I get my cheque. I previously won a large sum in 2000 and boy I never had so many friends and family. Fwiw it didn't last long!

How much has she inherited? What’s life changing? 3-5 million not same as 10 plus perhaps?

Imagine there are those in London etc that have a net worth of 3-5 mil & wouldn’t routinely sub family. I know those with greater wealth than 5 mill that have ‘only’ loaned money to struggling other family members.

She's not the Queen.

Winning the lottery isn't inheriting.

‘Gently, sis, and I’m not asking for anything, but could you please stop going on about how much you’re spending? You might not realise, but while we’re really happy for you, going on about how much you’ve spent in a day is a bit much, particularly when we’re working our arses off to stay afloat.’ Can’t you say something to her if you’re close?

Given you’re close, I’d be surprised if she took that poorly. I must say, my first action would be to pay off my sister’s mortgage/debts then sort out my cousins, all of whom have ordinary jobs/mortgages/dc.

Exactly - stewardship, so they don't come into it too early.

Is she rubbing your noses in it ? As in..." Ooo look what I bought today "
I think I'd be tempted to leave the room if she was that tactless

With 1- 3 million you’d do all that? You’d not have much change in London & home counties.

We don’t know how much it is…

You would be surprised how quicly people can burn through substantial sums of money. Next time she's telling you about her spendings ask her to google about lottery winners and how the many have nothing left after a short few years.

She's had her splurge, she really needs to see a financial planner before she's wasted the rest of it.

How do you deduct that? OP hasn't mentioned what the child was left.

Why can’t you tell us how much money she has approximately inherited? Is she ultra high net worth? Investible assets of 25 million plus. To many 1-2 mil is generationally life changing.

Yes, I agree with that - but I feel the great likelihood is that that means it is there at some point - not given away!

I'm just surprised the extent to which people feel this inheritance should be spent like a lottery windfall.

It is just that she is showing off to her family that she knows don't have much . Im the type of person (probably an idiot) that would never ask my family for money, but would give it to them if I had it- and certainly not spend 300k in a day , unless its a house 😄

BS! you are jealous you are not getting a bit of this pie.

You and your sister are vultures.

The money doesn't belong to either of you.

With poor financial planning it’s very easy to burn through even multi millions, I hope she is being sensible too.
Ideally she’d share some with your family or set up some kind of trust for you, but it is ultimately her money.
If she’s not up for sharing, could you suggest she does something that benefits your family without handing over cash. Eg buying a house you live in, or paying for you to retrain to earn more for example?
It’s a hard situation.

I mean op did say it was a holiday home and a sports car.

I'd help my parents and siblings financially if I inherited millions. Especially if they were struggling. I find it odd that she hasn't.

It can happen. My grandparents left all their money and their house to their favourite child (my uncle) and nothing to any of the others.

You can be envious of someone and also not expect them to give you anything.

Feeling envy and asking someone to be more aware of others feelings and situations is not being a vulture. But flashing the cash in the faces of those far less well off than you to the point of struggling is tactless, thoughtless and crass.

Fair enough. I actually forgot the original post 😄- but I hope it works out . All sisters (myself included) have different realtionships ..

I have a friend who had nothing at all when her mum died. Her mum left her car, house and money... everything, to the other sister. My friend was actually a carer for her mum, so it really hurt her to be cut out like that.

We have worked hard to pay off our mortgage on a simple terraced house which we love, but to do that we have a very simple life. children are allowed 1 club each a week, no big presents, no abroad or extravagant holidays, definitely no fancy cars... so we have no debt (so very fortunate) but also no spare money for emergencies. everything just goes on the day to day. we regularly help her with house things, garden, DIY etc as she does not have anyone to help, but not even an offer of coffee. My problem is I know, that I wouldn't give away big sums, but just a couple of thousand in my nice and nephews savings account would be huge for us.
She has inherited well over 10 million.