Sister has inherited huge wealth. Help

[Hidinginthelootoo]

My sister has inherited huge wealth... multi millions. Through sad circumstances.
Myself, my younger sister and our parents are all struggling money wise, due to poor pay (work two jobs to try to help), sister is divorce, parents just pensioners. I am trying so hard to be happy for her as she spends spends spends, one day she spent £300k! I try to oo and aa over what she buys, but I'm dying inside and drowning at home. Please help me be more positive, or explain nicely how it's making me feel without ruining our relationship.

So he was in middle management, had a few lucky investments which he kept secret and ended up with well over £10m. That's amazing.

Wait you have no mortgage? You’re in a much better position than so many with young children still. How are you scrimping when you have no mortgage or rent.

Thats awful after she was her carer!

I think it's very selfish of her to be a multimillionaire and watch her family struggle. I couldn't do that. So I can't think of any words that would make you feel better about it.

Middle management and his investments were worth £10 million - who's the financial advisor.

You should concentrate on your own life and not fuss over someone else's money. You'd be taking that money from her child. Jealousy is always unpleasant.

If you dont "ooh and aah" over what she is buying she'll stop talking as much about it.

Sorry if it’s been said already, but is she performatively spending in case any of her DH’s relatives come along to contest the will and try to take a share?
Was she previously generous at Christmas OP?
Is there any chance she is quietly getting the legal work in place so she can give you and/or your parents a windfall as a surprise Christmas gift?

Just to add my cousin inherited £2m+ last year. She lives in a house of the same value and has given family nothing.
Her choice but the stories of being worried about bills give me the pip.
COL is not really an issue for her but I hear about her hoarded funds weekly. She's 72 the DH 75.i think it's enough!

OP with £10m on deposit your sister will get at least £500,000 in interest each year at Coutts. No need to work or be mean.

I agree the sister is being thoughtless and crass flashing it.

In her situation I'd have made a simple comment that I'd had enough put in my name from the Will to look after the child to the standard his father had been able to, and that I felt a duty to leave the balance to the child in my own Will.

To me that's what the spirit of the bequest most likely was.

OP what is your Dsis' independent source of income besides this? (Sorry if I missed it)

Tell her to read the room! And tell her you don't want to talk about what she's spending her money on.

She's splashing cash and gloating about her spending while you're working yourselves to the bone just to live. You don't have to be happy about it, it is rubbing salt in the wound.

Then I'm afraid she can pay for diy/gardening help. She's taking the absolute piss if she's asking you to do stuff for her. I think she can source paid help! Not even a coffee? Is she really that unaware? I find this unbelievable.

Another post not to be believed!

@Hidinginthelootoo If she spent £300k in one day, then she will not be wealthy for long.

I wouldn’t class someone with no mortgage or rent like op as struggling 🤷🏻‍♀️

The OP hasn't mentioned wanting money. She just wants (from what she's said) for her sister to stop flaunting it and banging on about how much she's spent in a day and to read the room.

If she’s bereaved she might not be thinking straight. Has she got financial advice?

I have no mortgage or rent and I am struggling.

I am a carer for my parents and for that I receive the princely sum if £83 a week. I work as many hours as I am allowed (16) at NMW because to work at my previous level is 48 hour weeks minimum meaning no time for my parents. Oh and a UC top up.

No I dont have a mortgage but I also no longer have savings and every day is a struggle.

There but for the grace of [insert deity of choice] go all of us.

That sounds tough but also the fact you’ve paid off your house clearly means you can help your parents like that.

If you were still paying a mortgage you wouldn’t be able to.

Also in ops case she doesn’t mention being her parents career so in her case that’s two working adults no mortgage or rent and yet struggling which is baffling.

Woahhhh @Hidinginthelootoo

10 effin million pounds!!

I would literally be dishing out help to my nearest and dearest immediately.

If you're mortgage free with no debt she probably thinks you're quite comfortable.
And what happened to not wanting her money?
Just talk to her. She might not want to offend by offering.
Why are you doing her gardening? That's just odd.

And if his nearest and dearest also come with their hands out too? And her friends?

Death and inheritance brings out the grabby people.

This may sound pretty obvious, but have you asked her for money? If it was me I would. Sorry if that sounds mercenary but if she's got millions of pounds then she won't miss a few crumbs off the table for her own parents and sister.

She has always been a bit lacking in emotional intelligence and reading between lines. I think if she took a test she may be on the spectrum somewhere, I feel this is the problem, she can't see what is happening behind people's smiles. And as said, I'm not asking for money, just help trying to understand and possibly get empathy for a hard situation. I love my sister and nephew and will happily still help where I can, but just feel my nerves are being worn down. I'll put it down to menopause and get over myself... might treat myself to a chocolate bar and feel sorry for myself just for 5 minutes more. thanks for everyone's input and those that understand I have no bad intention or great expectations, just wanted to wallow a bit... thanks everyone.

stop helping her shes awful

I think I’d have to say to her that it would be nice if she could help your parents out a bit , like a pp I can’t imagine having massive wealth whilst seeing my family struggle . She doesn’t sound like someone I’d be wanting to maintain a relationship with .

And her dead ex's family, and their friends etc.

I have an aunt that came into money (was from a CPO of her house and land). Several of her work colleagues suddenly had financial crises. She helped... then they just kept having more reasons to ask for money.