Sister has inherited huge wealth. Help

[Hidinginthelootoo]

My sister has inherited huge wealth... multi millions. Through sad circumstances.
Myself, my younger sister and our parents are all struggling money wise, due to poor pay (work two jobs to try to help), sister is divorce, parents just pensioners. I am trying so hard to be happy for her as she spends spends spends, one day she spent £300k! I try to oo and aa over what she buys, but I'm dying inside and drowning at home. Please help me be more positive, or explain nicely how it's making me feel without ruining our relationship.

The sister inherited due to her husband dying. Not the same as Premium Bonds at all.

Well clearly your sister has really been through the mill. Her relationship with her husband fell apart and then he died. Of course she would feel very sad over that. It was her ex and the father of her child. She will be carrying the weight of her child's grief too as well as the responsibility of raising their child. I think that you need to focus on the actuality for her. The grass is not always greener on the other side.

I think she’s being extremely selfish and insensitive. Of course you’re not entitled to any money, but I could never keep that much money to myself if I knew my loved ones were struggling. I think you could at least ask her to stop rubbing your nose in it all the time.

She can blow through 10 million and be left with nothing if she isn’t smart. I would actually be worried about her and her children.

She needs to meet with a financial advisor. This is only generational wealth if the money is invested properly and they draw from those investments according to a plan.

Show her the history of lottery winners if necessary. There are countless examples of people who win big, think the money is infinite, and wind up with nothing.

Could you just say to her: “really sorry to be a bit of a downer, but would you mind reigning in all the talk of money and spending for a bit? We are actually quite stretched financially and feeling stressed about it and it’s great that you are so happy but it’s beginning to feel like you’re running our noses in it a bit.”

Kindly, £10m is not generational wealth if she’s spending it at the rate you have described. With that in mind, I’d be concerned about her burning through the money.

She sounds clueless about money, and if she’s spending at a rate of £300k it’ll soon all be gone.

If youre destitute I’d probably feel like I had to ask for some help, but be prepared for her to say no. It must be galling for you to witness this.

So direct that at the OP and her thread then? My comment was mere surprise that the figure is around the £10m mark, and that I don’t think it will last long, not sure why you’re trying to continue a non conversation with a totally different topic?

Can’t disagree with any of that.

Yes I thought that too - and actually 300k isn't a particularly flashy holiday home.

I'm wondering if op meant she bought both a car and a property on the same day because if she meant just the property, there was not really an alternative but to spend it on one day.

How could she possibly be happy sitting on all that money - or spending it like it’s going out of fashion - knowing her family are struggling. I just couldn’t.

Do you think she could be thinking of gifting money at Xmas? How much time was there between the bereavement and inheriting the money?

Absolutely I’d be comfortable. The money would be my children’s and I’d be the custodian of it. It’s not a personal lottery win. And if my sister thought she was entitled to my children’s inheritance I’d think she had a screw loose. And in this case it’s not just the sister, it’s the parents too. How many people are the children expected to support?

@tinyspiny Yes, I think I’d have to as well assuming that they have a good relationship.
She doesn’t sound as if she’d notice that your parents are finding it tight with the increasing COL so you’d need to be direct- “ Sis, Mum and Dad are finding it harder to cover everything as bills keep increasing-can you help them out abit ?”

I don’t thinking hints are going to be effective with her, you need to make it clear!

I have a close friend IRL who came into money unexpectedly and they decided to make one-time gifts to their immediate family. They paid off their parent’s mortgage, for example, and gave their brother a cash gift. They made it clear that was it though and it worked. No one has asked for more. I think I’d do the same.

Not just the parent either. The family of OP's ex could well be gunning for some money too.
Inheritance can bring out the worst in people.
A will leaves money to a specific person. But when it comes down to it, some people just do not respect that at all.
My sister married a man who is set to inherit £millions when his parents die. I am on UC. On no planet am I going to think of putting my hand out, or even hint about it getting anything whatsoever. I have only met his parents once, and that was at their wedding.

Agreed. Sorry I fell for it

It doesn't matter if this thread is true, the posters have answered honestly. Only on here could £10 million not be enough to drop your parents and two siblings £5k each (to not interfere with any benefits).

Drop them £5k... and when it is gone they come back and ask for more.
Not saying that would happen with OP's family, but some people treat others like an overdraft.

There are many millionaires outside of your sister, she's just in closer proximity.

Focus on aggressively improving your finances, like you would even if you didn't have a rich sister

Wow! And she hasn't given you single penny? Not even your parents?

That's off the scale selfishness.

As if believing yourself entitled to a handout isn’t.

Spending £300k on a house and a new car is hardly a stunning example of profligacy tbh. What you perceive to be rubbing it in is quite possibly her just sharing details about her life.

Expecting money from someone inheriting is off the scale entitlement.

Would you genuinely watch your parents and siblings struggle for money and work multiple jobs to make ends meet whilst you live like a King?! That's actually quite fucked up. Sorry

It would depend on your relationships. I would not give my DF a penny as he would just drink it all away. Dsis's DH is set to be a millionare when his parents die. My DB... he would accept money and keep coming back for more as nothing would really change.

If they were like someone of the posters on this thread and believed themselves entitled to it? Absolutely, I’d be quite contentedly fucked up. Not sorry.