Sister has inherited huge wealth. Help

[Hidinginthelootoo]

My sister has inherited huge wealth... multi millions. Through sad circumstances.
Myself, my younger sister and our parents are all struggling money wise, due to poor pay (work two jobs to try to help), sister is divorce, parents just pensioners. I am trying so hard to be happy for her as she spends spends spends, one day she spent £300k! I try to oo and aa over what she buys, but I'm dying inside and drowning at home. Please help me be more positive, or explain nicely how it's making me feel without ruining our relationship.

I would just tell her that your parents are struggling and she should give them some financial help. Maybe your Mum could point out that you and your other sister are also really up against it.
I could not have that much money and leave my sibling or parents struggling, maybe she really does need it spelled out that most people would give some of that to family. She could give up one tenth of it and not notice any difference in lifestyle etc, but it would be a huge chunk for the rest of you.

Yep, and no one is entitled to someone else's inheritance.

Death and money brings out the worse in people. It is like chucking soapy water on a patch of grass. All the worms come out.

God don’t you have any self respect at all?!

@AmberRose86 So you wouldn’t do anything for your parents whom you love if you had a lot of money and they were struggling financially?

Why wouldn’t you help them? Do you think they’d help you if the situation was reversed?

lol where did I say I wouldn’t help?!

I absolutely would not go asking for money though. To anyone. That’s gross.

Oh come off it. If this sister invites her mum to her birthday party do you also think that she has to invite her horrible dead ex’s friends? Nobody thinks that way. Gifting something to your immediate family does not entitle the rest of the world to the same from you.

Her ex will have family and will probably have their hands out too.
Death and inheritance brings out the grabby people, it always does.
Ultimately, OP is not the beneficiary of this money. Why should she get money from her sister's ex DH? Why should her parents get money from their daughter's ex DH?

It sounds like OP is sensible about it and just wants her sister to stop rubbing her face in it. That is fine. I do not understand the people saying she should get money.

Good fortune??

she's inherited money not won the lottery.

i actually suspect 'inherited' might be the wrong wird anyway & she's got the money because her husband (wife?) has died.

People blathering in about her being selfish or whatever need to poor down & consider her state of grief. She's needs HELP emotionally & financially.

so what if they have their hands out, the ops sister is glad he is dead so sounds like he was horrible. You’re confusing two things here- she doesn’t owe anyone the inheritance from her ex. This is true. What other people on this thread are saying is in her circumstances we would support our family, especially if they were struggling. That’s not about they’re owed her windfall inheritance, that’s about how we treat the people we love when we have the means to do so.

FFS, can you not read?!

She is not grieving. Her ex was hiding wealth during a divorce and he passed before it happened so the sister inherited. His own fucking child is happy that he is dead!

So OP has her hands out, her parents have their hands out... the dead man's family will have their hands out etc etc. Good friends that helped him with his investments maybe...
Where does it end? How much do you give them? Pay off a mortgage? Fine. So they then go buy another house and expect that to be paid off too. Or get into debt and expect you to pick up the tab because "you can afford it".

I’m sorry your relationships are like that.

Ha, me?
My sister will inherit (via marriage) a shit ton. She owes me nothing. It will be her in-law's money and nowt to do with me.

@AmberRose86
I think we can agree that most people would help their parents financially if they were wealthy. This thread might be a wind up but if not, the sister’s oblivious behavior towards her parents is odd (unless they have a bad relationship).

@99bottlesofkombucha I agree that it’s sad when family members take advantage of each other. I haven’t experienced this and feel sorry for people who do.

This
I wouldn't be envying, I'm grieving myself at the moment and I bet she'd rather the person was still there with them than "having lots of money"

FFS YOURSELF.

No I didn't read that because MN is playing up for me tonight. It was showing no more OP posts after her first one.

@Hidinginthelootoo

I hope you can navigate your way through this without losing the relationship with your sister. Xx

Apparently not. If the OP's posts are showing up for you it's worth reading them. I couldn't see them before I posted ! Assumed the same, but it's not the case.

I'm very sorry to hear you are grieving. It's awful isn't it xx

I don't understand this, you say you are close but haven't trusted your relationship to simply articulate how you feel. She may not be thinking of the affect of this on you / your family at all but that doesn't mean if you let her know it will lead to doom. It sounds like low level resentment will destroy your relationships if you do not voice it

Thoughts and prayers

Why do they have their hands out at all? Why is OP expressing disappointment in her sister not giving her/her children what she thinks should be given? Is that how we treat people we love?

She may not have liked the man, but he was the father of her child/children. Her focus is of course going to be on them.

Splashing the cash around like she’s won the lottery is hardly a good look either

I'd probably tell her she needs to have some class. Showing off wealth is vulgar and tacky.

Innocently and warmly ask her if she fancies helping mum dad and your sister?

Well if she is spending like a fool it will be gone soon.

i actually suspect 'inherited' might be the wrong wird anyway & she's got the money because her husband (wife?) has died.
People blathering in about her being selfish or whatever need to poor down & consider her state of grief. She's needs HELP emotionally & financially.

Try reading the thread 🙄