‘Just the meat for me please’ Sunday Lunch issue ’

[Mondaytuesdayhappydays]

SIS and BIL coming for Sunday Lunch, bringing DN and her BF- recently engaged.
Got a little gift for them and card etc, my parents were coming any way so invited Sunday for food as makes sense.

SIS has just WhatsApped to say jokingly that the BF -mega gym bunny - ‘doesn’t do potatoes and trimmings- but don’t worry he’ll just pile his plate high with meat’
Im doing a couple chickens and a gammon between us all so plenty for everyone alongside stuffing, veg, Yorkies , gravey, cauliflower cheese etc but definitely not for a huge piled up plate of just meat!

I replied lightheartedly to SIS to this effect and she’s not a happy camper at all.
Just texted to say wants him to feel welcome so will bring him a couple of raw pork chops or similar to fry - I’ve said bring them cooked and sliced already in a Tupperware as I won’t be frying chops with all the carnage of the roast going on and my parents milling about under my feet ‘helping’

Shes voice noting at the moment can see the symbol
honestly am I just old or a shit hostess or is this how guests who barely know their hosts I might add expect to be catered for ???

I mean veggie/vegan all power to you
but a plate piled up of meat for lunch seems a bit full on to me ??

It's one meal. I'm sure he will manage. It a choice rather than a medical/religious or some other reason.

His reaction will tell you whether he's going to be A PITA at all future gatherings or whether he's well mannered, easy going and understands any event will not revolve around him and his quirks.

But she IS providing it, both chicken and gammon just not enough to pile a massive plate full of just one thing like a gluttonous giant.

If you didn't like gammon do you think it would be fine to take all the mash potatoes for yourself not just your portion leaving others without?

No, of course not

And I say this as someone with medical dietary requirements who has gone my whole life (nearly 4 decades) without ever demanding special treatment or people cook just for me (I just eat my portion worth of the bits I can).

A whole chicken plus more in a single meal?

If this is how he always eats, then he's going to end up with gout

Time for him to be educated.
You do not absorb protein based food in the gut unless you have adequate vit B6, iron, calcium and zinc- source of which is leafy greens. Veg also contains proteins like Rubisco

Oh please do!!!

@Mondaytuesdayhappydays the cost may be fine for you, but BF should be mindful that cost may not be fine for host and he shouldn't be expecting them to provide more of the most expensive item on the menu. If he needs such a specific diet then he can provide some of it. Can't imagine sitting at someone else's house just eating a plateful of meat, that is just so rude

Being pescatarian, I’ve often been at a roast or similar meal and just had the “trimmings”. I don’t think that entitles me to more of the bits everyone likes, such as roasties or Yorkshire puddings, I just have a normal amount.

I might take seconds if offered, and/ or have pudding when offered etc, but I don’t “pile my plate high” with roast potatoes.

I think you should, for comedy effect.

this!
“he won’t have any of the sides but he’ll have a NORMAL amount of meat?“
no problem at all.

„he can’t have any of the sides. Could he have some extra meat, please?“
sure. I wouldn’t object to somebody bringing his/her own food either.

But SIS didn’t even ask. She just told OP that he‘ll pile his plate high!

He will eat a pile of high meat ..
So, a lot of the most expensive thing .
Buy him some ready made meat from a non-expensive supermarket . He can not be healthy if he dose not eat veg . Anytime I have been on some kind of specific diet , I would not dream of telling a host (a lovely person inviting me round) to cater specifically for me ..
he dose not have any allergies etc . His just being fussy

If he want to eat a whole chicken then surely he brings a ready cooked chicken just for him

Make sure everyone else gets their fair share of the meat first. Im judging sil for making this somehow a virtue to be pandered to. You are a guest and unless its a intolerance or allergy or a moral choice you suck it up. Being a greedy twat doesn't cut it.

Just do what you have planned, don't cook anything else special. Slice and serve the meat on plates, let everyone help themselves to trimmings and gravy, offer seconds of meat if there are leftovers. He is welcome to have as much meat as he likes but only when everyone has had their share.

Sounds a bit like Pam on Gavin and Stacey "Oh I'm not having the broccoli so I get an extra steak." 😂

Absolutely. People go on about the art of hosting but there is actually an art to being a good guest as well. And it seems to be getting entirely lost.

Serve him a whole cooked bird on his plate.

A roast quail.

It might just be the sister whose overthinking it. The young man might be a really polite young man who will just help himself to a normal portion of meat and pretend to eat the veg.

I wonder what he's planning to do with pudding. And alcohol.

Yes, and I can imagine there would be lots of concern if a body-obsessed young woman turned up for a family meal and said she would only be eating plain lettuce leaves because she’s on a really restrictive diet. But somehow it’s fine when it’s gym bros who have disordered eating because it has special, manly names 😜

No, it’s part of the bodybuilding cycle. Both men and women who bodybuild will cycle between bulking and cutting. When bulking they eat high calorie diets and add fat to their bodies, which helps them build muscle as they lift. They will then start cutting by dropping calories and eating mostly protein, which drops their body fat percentage and makes their muscles visible so they can see their progress (or compete, if they do that).

I absolutely do not understand people like this.

You've been invited for lunch. Just eat what is there - fine if you don't want the potatoes and veg, just eat what you like from what you are given or is offered to you. It's not an allergy problem.

Why oh why do you take sliced fucking avocado to someones house to eat yourself! Can you not just have it when you get home? You will look like a dick.

I massively empathise with you OP.

@HelenHywater I assume the sister knows what the BF is like

Chuck a bunch of boiled eggs at him if he's that desperate for protein.

Pay no attention, I'm sure her idea of a plate of meat and his are different. It sounds as though you will have plenty with two chickens and a gammon joint. Tell her she doesn't need to bring two pork chops for goodness sakes. In any case he has to adapt when he goes to someone's house for a meal, we all do, that is life.

You won't cater for vegans? I find that very odd. I assume that vegans choose to eliminate all animal-derived food from their diet out of principle or in a few cases religious belief. I don't share those principles or beliefs, but I would feel I have to respect them. Deciding that you need to eat mostly meat is nothing like this. It's a choice based on wanting to be very muscular, as far as I can make out. I suppose in some cases it might be an eating disorder, and I'd be more sympathetic to that, but would also feel (silently) that it's a great shame that the person has not managed to overcome this with therapy, as it would be so much healthier and sociable to be able to eat a normal mixed diet.

It's not that hard to cater for vegans as a one off, surely. I would never expect a vegan or vegetarian or anyone else who doesn't eat meat to cook it for me. It would be no hardship at all to have a meal without any meat in it. Unless it was pointed out, it would scarcely register, actually.

In general I agree with this. The sister was distinctly crass and out of line.

But rather than make a to-do, just this once I’d cook extra. Especially since they are celebrating their engagement.

This is just more terminology that describes disordered eating. ‘Bulking and cutting’ are better known as bingeing and restricting.