‘Just the meat for me please’ Sunday Lunch issue ’

[Mondaytuesdayhappydays]

SIS and BIL coming for Sunday Lunch, bringing DN and her BF- recently engaged.
Got a little gift for them and card etc, my parents were coming any way so invited Sunday for food as makes sense.

SIS has just WhatsApped to say jokingly that the BF -mega gym bunny - ‘doesn’t do potatoes and trimmings- but don’t worry he’ll just pile his plate high with meat’
Im doing a couple chickens and a gammon between us all so plenty for everyone alongside stuffing, veg, Yorkies , gravey, cauliflower cheese etc but definitely not for a huge piled up plate of just meat!

I replied lightheartedly to SIS to this effect and she’s not a happy camper at all.
Just texted to say wants him to feel welcome so will bring him a couple of raw pork chops or similar to fry - I’ve said bring them cooked and sliced already in a Tupperware as I won’t be frying chops with all the carnage of the roast going on and my parents milling about under my feet ‘helping’

Shes voice noting at the moment can see the symbol
honestly am I just old or a shit hostess or is this how guests who barely know their hosts I might add expect to be catered for ???

I mean veggie/vegan all power to you
but a plate piled up of meat for lunch seems a bit full on to me ??

Exactly. It is an ED, or bordering on one, to be that restrictive.

Nothing the ops sister has said makes him sound like the laid back person you describe. After the op was a bit wtf the sister literally phoned to say no no you have to provide for him and he can’t eat gammon, he will need a whole chicken for himself.

he sounds like an absolute tosser and the niece will be miserable if she marries him.

20 quid says he grumbles about it being thighs not breast. He will want the leaner low fat cut.

Since when did people get to be so rude and entitled.

I think I’d have done this. Said, yeah, sure lots of meat for everyone, and then assume he’ll behave like a civilised human on the day.

They sound totally batshit though.

I with you too on this, although I would have a couple of potatoes, a spoonful of caulie cheese (if I made it I would use low fat cheese, skimmed milk etc) but would load my plate up with steamed vegetables and lean meat. That's how I cook at home and only the kids have yorkshires. When I see my parents they are forever trying to get me to have pudding which I always get out of just wish I didn't have to keep explaining I don't want any. I work out about 4/5 a week and weigh in with my PT.

I also agree he probably doesn't get it as this is just normal life for him and how he eats all the time.

I wonder what he'd do if it was my house. I only cook vegetarian food. A big pile of boiled eggs?

His own avocado and mayo!!!

Poor DN, living with this tedious embarrassment for the rest of her life. Is she sure about this? What’s going to happen when they have DC? (Not expecting you to answered OP, just thinking aloud!)

Maybe serve a nice protein shake on the side.

People choose to be vegetarian/vegan though. And it's a pretty standard expectation that we cater to them. Carnivore diet is just the opposite end of that same spectrum. They are both chosen diets for equally spurious ethical/health reasons.

I wonder if he was 'gentle parented'......

Carnivore diet tends to be much more costly.

Being vegetarian/vegan doesn’t involve ‘piling your plate up high’ with the most expensive food type being served, which is also supposed to be shared with the rest of the guests. I also don’t think the diet being spoken about is chosen for ethical reasons.

I don’t think not wanting animals to be tortured and killed is “spurious” meat is also expensive. If I went to someone’s house I’d be putting the cheapest part of the meal on my plate not touching the most expensive part. Your comparison is ridiculous

Yes, vegans and vegetarians tend to be thinking of a bigger picture than purely themselves. This "piling the plate high with meat" is so toe curlingly self indulgent. Take the same amount as everyone else, politely pass on the potatoes and cauliflower cheese and then eat more at home if necessary. Simple.

Hmm it's very interesting how MN considers veganism completely acceptable as a diet and often insists on its healthiness but meat, vegetables and milk is considered an eating disorder. I acknowledge the cost difference.

Personally, I do not talk about my diet to others or my protein requirement and as one poster suggested it is very boring to others.
I find listening to people talk about weight reducing diets at work boring but I can't say that.

At such a meal as below I would of course eat a bit of most things and my own portion of meat. I would sort the rest of it else myself later in the day as needed if I needed more protein.

It's not unusual at all for such men to have boxes of prepared meals at home and sometimes they take those in such circumstances.

Building significant amounts of muscle is hard (easier with steroids though) and it takes months a years of consistent exercise, nutrition and sleep. It's harder for women and harder with age and it needs focus not just eating randomly and hoping for the best.

You have the same protein requirements as the next person though, you're choosing to eat more because of vanity. That's your choice of course, but it is incredibly dull to anyone not following the same vanity path.

Wanting to build and maintain muscle mass as you age is hardly vanity. Muscle loss is a big problem, especially for women as they age. If you aren’t doing something about it from mid thirties onwards you probably should look into it.

Hmm it's very interesting how MN considers veganism completely acceptable as a diet and often insists on its healthiness but meat, vegetables and milk is considered eating disorder. I acknowledge the cost difference.

@WithIcePlease I wouldn’t say that’s the collective view of Mumsnet. I’ve seen plenty of posters criticise veganism or vegan diets (for context, I’m not vegan myself and don’t have particularly strong views about it, unless it’s being imposed on a child or pet).

I think the difference is that many people choose veganism for ethical reasons, as they believe eating animal products is wrong. There are probably cases where veganism is used to disguise an ED, but there’s also a “greater good” argument for veganism that doesn’t apply to all restrictive diets.

I’m not sure there’s an easy answer. Whether a restrictive diet is healthy or not also depends on the motivation behind it.

Veganism can be semi-religious in terms of seeing it as benefiting the planet. So there is an element of trying to help others and political beliefs that should be respected. Frankly I think it's actually a load of bollocks but I'll cater to it.

Carnivorism doesn't have this element. It's pure vanity bullshit based on pseudo science.

I don't think they are comparable for this reason.

It's vanity if you're obsessed with 'building muscle mass'.

Maybe the health reasons for a higher protein diet should be thought of too.
Gabrielle Lyons is very strong on this point. As she says, muscle is the organ of longevity.

Muscle protects against so many of the everyday ills of aging.

As we get older, the body's ability to absorb protein declines so more protein is required to maintain muscle.

The 45g often cited is merely the amount for young men not to become deficient. Not the amount for optimum health in an older person.

My mother was hunched and had osteoporosis by the time she was my current age. I'll stand a decent chance of being able to get up if I fall when I'm older hopefully.

I did a CPR course. Half of the healthcare workers there (much younger than I am) said they had to resuscitate the dummy on the table as they said that they would find it hard to get up from the floor. That is of more concern than taking muscle seriously and eating accordingly.

Sure. This man can eat as much daily protein as he likes. Top up earlier or later in the day if it's important to him. He doesn't have to demand OP caters to this for a single meal. That is where it becomes rude. The poor lamb, sorry, big strong man, is unlikely to pass out if he has the same meat portion as the ten other people at the table.

Eating good quality protein as part of a balanced diet, not only eating vast quantities of meat and little else.

As for Ms Lyons, if that inspires you, crack on.

I personally became preoccupied with this after being hit by a car and being unable to walk for 8 months. I had been doing strength training before the accident.

I lost all the shape in my thighs as I lost muscle. I started looking in to building muscle more seriously with the aim of regaining my leg strength.

It has taken me close on 3 years of gym going to build my thigh strength to what is was before the accident. It had to be slow because with the muscle loss, my knees became less stable and I had to increase the load slowly due to this.

Yeah, so not all vanity