‘Just the meat for me please’ Sunday Lunch issue ’

[Mondaytuesdayhappydays]

SIS and BIL coming for Sunday Lunch, bringing DN and her BF- recently engaged.
Got a little gift for them and card etc, my parents were coming any way so invited Sunday for food as makes sense.

SIS has just WhatsApped to say jokingly that the BF -mega gym bunny - ‘doesn’t do potatoes and trimmings- but don’t worry he’ll just pile his plate high with meat’
Im doing a couple chickens and a gammon between us all so plenty for everyone alongside stuffing, veg, Yorkies , gravey, cauliflower cheese etc but definitely not for a huge piled up plate of just meat!

I replied lightheartedly to SIS to this effect and she’s not a happy camper at all.
Just texted to say wants him to feel welcome so will bring him a couple of raw pork chops or similar to fry - I’ve said bring them cooked and sliced already in a Tupperware as I won’t be frying chops with all the carnage of the roast going on and my parents milling about under my feet ‘helping’

Shes voice noting at the moment can see the symbol
honestly am I just old or a shit hostess or is this how guests who barely know their hosts I might add expect to be catered for ???

I mean veggie/vegan all power to you
but a plate piled up of meat for lunch seems a bit full on to me ??

Thank you. Yes, it was dreadful. He was a true narc - devalued me more and more until he left me because he said I wasn't slim enough for him. I was devastated for a long time, but I know that it's probably the biggest favour anyone's ever done me.

He developed the disordered eating at some point in the early years of our marriage - he wasn't like that at all when dating. But in the end, I lived with all that food and weight obsession for quite a few years. I am pretty proud of the fact that his habits, and pressure to be as disordered as him, had zero effect on me. All through, just like my whole life and just like now, I ate three healthy meals a day.

I believe avocado is high in fat but has no carbohydrate in it. That's probably why. Plain roast chicken, sliced avocado, mayonnaise, nothing else, while everybody else is enjoying lovely gravy, roast potatoes, Yorkshire puddings, stuffing and sexy veg! He must be really invested in his bodybuilding. Another red flag as far as I'm concerned!

People who are on a cut generally don't eat piles of fatty meat like fried pork chops either.

His diet makes no sense in terms of "gym bunnies".

Bodybuilders either maintain, cut (calories to lose body fat) or bulk (excess calories from protein, fat, and carbs)

People just wanting to improve their health eat "clean".

Eating nothing but pork chops sounds very Atkins to me, which has fuck all to do with the gym and shouldn't stop him from eating a normal portion of meat with some broccoli and leafy greens.

Meat is expensive. I think your sister was rude to say “don’t worry, he’ll just pile his plate high with meat”. Nothing at all wrong with you saying you don’t have enough meat for him to do that. If he’s a nice lad with good manners, he’d be inclined to be grateful to be invited and given whatever you have meat wise. Again it would be rude of him to feel hard done by because you didn’t offer him a tower of meat. I think there was a good suggestion up thread to serve all the meat on individual plates and everyone can help shelves to veg. Or not. Your sister is rude to tell you how to host in your own house.

I just would not have eaten out with that man. For one thing would seeing that not put you right off your food?

No amount of sculpted abs and pecs would offset lying in bed next to a constipated bad breathed man who refuses veg and eats plates piled with meat and comes to a party with a couple of pork chops under his arm.

Your sister is bonkers for not only entertaining this personally, but allowing it to roll out to you as the host.

No way!! Dish up in the kitchen. Give him same amount of meat as everyone else.

It's very different, he's choosing to pile his plate with the most expensive part of the meal.

make sure he doesn't grab all the meat before the rest of you get to have enough.

He'll probably take it as well. And still complain that he's hungry.

Surely if you are in a cut you don’t accept an invitation to a meal since you can’t control what you eat.

Theres absolutely no way I’d go out to a meal and expect to have more of any item than everyone else gets.

its like me deciding I’ll have all the Yorkshire puddings and roasts and sod everyone else, they can have my carrots and sprouts

Give him this and never invite him round again.

This. I would just buy a bit if extra chicken or similar and not think any more on it.

Harsh but fair…..

I don't know any one that add butter or honey to their vegatables, perhaps in a resturant, but not at home.

Thanks @Frequency for explaining what ‘in a cut’ means, never heard of it before (don’t hang out with body builders!).

Send a voicenote back telling her where the nearest Toby Carvery is and advise her to leave an hour early so that Mr Gym Bunny can chow down on as much meat as he can before arriving at yours for a civilised sit down meal with all the food groups

Meat is very different to GF/ allergies or religious requirements . Meat is expensive!!!!
In that case get a couple of tins of Spam in!

Any stock can be frozen and used for risottos. Made some fab risottos with the most bizarre stock choices, including boiled ham water.

I'm torn on this post, on the one hand I think your sister and BF are rude but then also I can see that this veg isn't for everyone. I would love it but I always cook steamed veg for a regular sunday roast - this would be a Christmas Day type meal not a regular Sunday dinner.

Do you know if he doesn't like veg or just veg loaded with things like cheese, honey, butter, cream, bacon eyc.....

If this was someone coming to my house I would probably chuck in a sweet potato to bake and buy some frozen veg to steam (I think you can do that in the microwave)

Presumably if he was a vegetarian you’d comply?

He should bring his own!

And constipation and bowel issues. Uuugh

It's one meal. You're offering to entertain part of your extended family. There are many ways the younger generation can bring home someone the older generation find challenging. This seems to me at the harmless end of the scale.

You're already serving meat. As a percentage of cost and effort, chucking a few chicken breasts in the oven isn't that big a deal. I'd just suck it up, even though it's a million miles away from my values around food.

But of course you always have the Mumsnet option of saying "that doesn't work for me".

I don’t think they would take it lying down at a Toby carvery so, to that end, YANBU.