‘Just the meat for me please’ Sunday Lunch issue ’

[Mondaytuesdayhappydays]

SIS and BIL coming for Sunday Lunch, bringing DN and her BF- recently engaged.
Got a little gift for them and card etc, my parents were coming any way so invited Sunday for food as makes sense.

SIS has just WhatsApped to say jokingly that the BF -mega gym bunny - ‘doesn’t do potatoes and trimmings- but don’t worry he’ll just pile his plate high with meat’
Im doing a couple chickens and a gammon between us all so plenty for everyone alongside stuffing, veg, Yorkies , gravey, cauliflower cheese etc but definitely not for a huge piled up plate of just meat!

I replied lightheartedly to SIS to this effect and she’s not a happy camper at all.
Just texted to say wants him to feel welcome so will bring him a couple of raw pork chops or similar to fry - I’ve said bring them cooked and sliced already in a Tupperware as I won’t be frying chops with all the carnage of the roast going on and my parents milling about under my feet ‘helping’

Shes voice noting at the moment can see the symbol
honestly am I just old or a shit hostess or is this how guests who barely know their hosts I might add expect to be catered for ???

I mean veggie/vegan all power to you
but a plate piled up of meat for lunch seems a bit full on to me ??

I'd tell her the menu is set, he shouldn't come if it doesn't suit, and if he hasn't mastered the basic niceties of being a guest in someone else's home he will be asked to leave. Modelling assertiveness around basic expectations is doing your niece a favour in the long run.

I don't understand. Never in my entire life have I gone to someone else's house for a meal and expected to be consulted first about what should be served. It's normal to ask if people are on a special diet or have any food intolerances or allergies, and also to check if there's anything people absolutely loathe, but surely nobody expects the host to run the menu past the guests in advance?

Not to mention his bowels.

Quite.

You don't just get to replace the veg with meat. You pay double.

I was in a bakery once that's quite famous for it's brunch. There was a couple at a table where the man was eating a plate of (I kid you not) 10-12 plain fried eggs, without any topping, sauce or sides. She was eating normally and I can't imagine how mortifying it must be to go to restaurants with people like that. Also, his farts must have been absolutely vile.

You could argue it’s just more male entitlement for women to pander to. <If you’d read the Darlington nurses threads today, I reckon you’d be as hacked off about it as I am.>

Bet he’s a right farter

Sounds extremely unhealthy and storing up problems for the future. What an odd species we are.

He'd get the usual portion - same as everyone else.
If he chooses not to eat the veggies/spuds... that's on him.
Leftover meat? Yep- thats for everyone to share .

Please say someone said something??

This is absolutely not the same as being vegetarian, dairy-free, celiac, etc. These dietary requirements are fairly easy and inexpensive to cater for, especially with a roast dinner.

In this scenario, his choice to only eat meat, and the expectation that what he would have had in potatoes and veg will be substituted with more meat, is going to cost the host a lot more money.

This is Mumsnet, of course they didn’t. They just sat there and let the CFs do as they wished.

Organic free range chicken is around £14-20 depending on size and whereabouts you live/buy it - so chicken that has been treated reasonably. Like ffff is he spending that much dosh on himself for each and every meal he eats. Buying the cheapest who-cares-how-it's-been-raised chicken in order to sustain an unhealthy fad is a pretty shitty way to behave :(

DS has a high protein diet (he competes in a sport which requires a specialist gym and he goes there most days). At home he will have extra protein in the form of chicken or fish and/or protein shakes and supplements. But he also has manners so when he eats at someone else's house he shuts up and eats what he is given.

Also he eats tons of veg, both cooked and raw, bringing your own veg as BF intends to do is both weird and extremely rude. This bloke sounds a bit performative to me, like he wants people to ask about his diet so he can talk about all the gym work he does. Boring!

Sorry OP but he’s a graceless twat and your sister enabling this rudeness and then being astonished when you push back is awful.

Anyone who turns up as a guest and expects a whole chicken to themselves is deluded. This surely can’t be viewed by people as acceptable behaviour?

How do you even eat 10-12 eggs at a time?

More normal for him to eat a bigger breakfast / brunch, then apologetically explain that he is on a special diet so would like to just have some of the chicken.
If he was staying with you for a few days, then fair enough for Sis to explain he only eats lean protein but will bring his own extras (eg Huel, or eggs, or cooked chicken or fish or whatever) as they know it's a bother. But for one meal? Nah, he can either eat normally or arrive full/ be hungry afterwards.

I would simply plate him up last so everyone else had already had their fair share of meat.

My dd, 16, is in to this diet too. I don’t think it’s massively unusual. She calls it the seasonal diet I think. She’ll eat only organic eggs, meat, fish, berries and fruits in season. At first I thought wtf, but actually of all her diets (she eats the same thing for months then goes to the next) , if you can afford it, it’s easy time wise. She feels brilliant, sleeps well, painful periods gone, has tonnes of energy, and ADHD is less noticeable, so I’m not saying no. Couldn’t anyway, she just wouldn’t eat.

He’s not asked for this. I’d just serve him normal portion of meat. If he chooses not to add sides it’s his choice.
He’ll have had breakfast and can eat when he gets home. It’s one meal.
I wouldn’t entertain faffing. He can eat some of what’s provided that’s fine.

YABU, OP. I refuse to drink anything except for champagne, and always let my hosts know that I’m going to need at least 2 pints. They would be rude hosts if they didn’t accommodate my beverage preferences.

Does she eat vegetables?

This is rude but I would cook enough meat for everyone to have a good portion and see what the BF actually says, it could be DS and DN fussing.

My DM was like this when she was first with her partner, fretting and prepping everyone so there would be just what he wanted when actually he was happy to go with the flow and embarrassed by her fussing - I was micromanaged managed making a cup of tea until I finally snapped and he now jokes when ever I make him a drink to ensure I stir it anticlockwise just as likes it 😅

Just see how it goes this time, its sounds like there is plenty of food and he wont go hungry

It reminds me of Christmas at my in-laws a few years ago. We sat down to eat and there was plain rice, sweetcorn and some of those frozen Birds Eye crispy chicken things. Turns out they were for SIL’s BF. He is from
another European country, so I asked what their traditional Christmas dinner was, thinking it was something similar. His answer? ‘Meat’. Turns out that actually it had nothing to do with his home country. He literally just only ever eats the crispy chicken, plain rice and sweetcorn. If I was MIL I would have told him in no uncertain terms to eat what she was already cooking! As if she needed to be faffing on with that too!

Naturally! No one said a thing, including cf’s wife. I felt awful as guests were “enthusiastically” tucking into onion and red wine sauce whilst bloke was heaping in best aged beef.