Politics aside, is private school usually a better experience of education for kids compared with state?

[Isitbetterb]

Just that really. We have no political views on private v state and whilst we can afford private, neither of us have ever been to one nor have family who have.

Not really bothered about grades but more the environment. Is it really better than state? And if so in what way?

I went to a private girls school 10-15 years ago, very bitchy/clique, dumb uniform rules, lack of socialisation with the other sex, and many of my peers were slightly stuck up and didn't live in the real world. Having said that, the academic support / teaching was excellent, as was the cultural / sporting opportunities.

All schools are different so it's hard to generalise.

Private schools generally offer nicer buildings and better facilities. Smaller class sizes. And sometimes better wraparound care and a wider range of extra-curricular activities. Plus the parents are self selecting so your kids would mostly be surrounded by children from families that value education.

I don't think the teaching itself is any better in private than in state. And some people might actually want exposure to a broader range of people for their kids - that was a factor for us, certainly.

It's best to look at individual schools and consider whether you like their ethos and values as well as all of the other things that they have to offer.

They will mix with very few poor people, just very clever poor kids that have bursaries or scholarships. If it’s a selective school children that are less able will be excluded because they will fail the entrance test. You are paying for a filter really. .

DH went to one of the most expensive independent schools in the UK. Did it assist him ? Naturally.

No. It totally depends on the schools and your location.

Our state schools have smaller classes and better results than the nearest private. It would be an utter waste of money.

This was not the case in my private school. Really depends on the school

Some private schools are famous for violence

I think its impossible to put politics aside

One thing to consider that often gets overlooked is geography. There’s a lot to be said for kids having friends who live close by and can spend time together outside school. Often a private school has kids travelling in from areas further afield which makes socialisation more difficult. It can be quite isolating for them.

In my experience it varies massively. What do you want from the school experience?

Private schools tend to have much better facilities especially for those aimed more at sports, arts or music. However, the much smaller classes can work both ways. If your child makes good friends then it’s brilliant. If the other children just aren’t really ones they get on with or actively don’t get on with, it can be a very isolating and difficult time. State schools tend to have many more children so the likelihood of finding a good friend is higher although so is finding someone who causes issues.

Having been to both teachers in private school were either excellent ( smaller class sizes probably helped but there were a few who were very knowledgeable in subject etc) or a complete mess (spending the lesson talking about their divorce/ accidentally showing us soft porn etc). In state school the teachers had a lot more on their plates and were on average of a better standard, a few stand out but none of the over sharing etc. Some were unpleasant however. Kids wise there was rule breaking in both. Kids getting in trouble for fighting/ acting up in the state school, more drinking drugs etc in the private school. I made friends in both but outside of my friendship group the state school kids may rib me but in general the private school kids were from a different world which I was not part of. I wouldn't consider private school for my kids.

I went to a non-selective private secondary school (single sex) after going to a state junior school.

My parents chose private as our catchment secondary school was under special measures due to bullying and violence, including pupils having recently broke into my junior school for theft and vandalism.

I was physically bullied by boys at my junior school and behaviour was very disruptive in class. Didn’t have any of this at my private secondary.

Smaller class size is also a benefit.

It really depends where you are. The secondary schools where I live now are generally very good. The school from my home town is still struggling.

This is almost identical to our experience - two years of DS being a buffer to badly behaving kids and basically being ignored as he was meeting all the targets. Moving to independent has been the best decision we could have made.

This is also a good point.

I really liked my private secondary school but I didn’t live near any of my friends and my teenage years did feel isolated at home.

That's the erroneous assumption that the private schooling industry depends on. "If all these people are spending all this money, there must be a reason, so I should, too!"

I feel like you're not going to get a good idea because people have moved between when one of them wasn't working.

As an observer (who went state and sent kids state) I think if you want your kids to feel an intrinsic right to exist and take up space, in general private will give them that.

I think all kids should be able to feel that by the way, it's not a criticism. Private schools are better at giving them that.

I assume most people pay for the school in order to have the smaller class sizes, therefore better chance of higher grades. I understand that, because the higher the grades, the more opportunities there are to study at better universities.

You’re saying you’re not bothered about grades though so I don’t get why you would want to send your child to a school where the vast majority of children are from privileged backgrounds, therefore it’s not a rounded experience.

Imo you’d be better moving to an area with really good secondary schools then your child will gain a more rounded experience overall. They’ll meet people from all walks of life, not just the privileged few. They’ll also get a decent education.

Depends on the child and the actual schools. Confident intelligent children who can advocate for themselves and are self driven and supported at home, do very well in good or outstanding state schools.
Kids who need extra support in any shape or form may well do better in independent schools that are quieter and more supportive.

However, each and every one of my friends with DC in private education right now regrets paying, due to cost of living etc and the economy. It may look like you can “afford it”, but they say that that huge amount coming out termly really hurts.

So I think great state school plus activities, plus tutoring, ed tech, home support is really the way most people are now going, especially if they have some days they can work from home.

We went private for DS because he wasn’t super academic and dyslexic, so we wanted smaller class sizes and more dedicated 121 teaching which he wouldn’t have got in a large state school. It worked and he did very well in his GCSEs. The secondary school nearest us is very very good, so if DD’s are more academic they will get sent there rather than private

Young adult DC1 recently went to visit a friend who is working as a teacher at a top private school. DC1 described the facilities as "better than most universities" - there was a 50m pool, several rugby and football pitches and an electron microscope.

However their friend who has a science degree does not have any qualifications in teaching, which is obviously worse than a state school.

I would imagine that what makes most kids happy at school is primarily their friends and perhaps how well they get along with the teachers and how much they feel they are learning.

From my own experience, yes. I went to a very good private girls' school that celebrated academic excellence and had excellent pastoral care. I thought school was like that for everyone until I went to university and heard about my friends' experiences and was honestly shocked at what was allowed to go on in their schools.

The behaviour was far better in Private.
At the local well rated state school there were a number of highly disruptive boys in my son’s class.Nothing was done and bullying wasn’t dealt with , whilst at the private school bullying happened but was dealt with .

I've seen the opposite happen, though, as well. Private schools too scared to offend paying parents of bullying children.

I think there was high demand for places at my son’s school. I heard other parents complaining about children they heard were disruptive. Fees were high, those complaints went in quickly

Millfield or Mount Kelly?

No