Hoarder in-laws want us to inherit their stuff

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My in-laws in their 70s are serious hoarders. They have a massive house filled with stuff.

They have repeatedly told my DH and me that they will not sort out their belongings and expect us to inherit or sell everything after they pass, believing it's all valuable.
For example, hundreds of DVDs, crystal decor, old DIY tools, and casual "jewellery" that's not my taste and to be blunt, not worth inheriting, the quality of something you would see in Claire's or Accessorize.

DH has sincerely explained that majority of their possessions have little to no value, and we do not want them. We offered to help them declutter or sell items, but they refuse, as they are unwilling to give things away for free or accept low selling prices.

We live in a tiny terrace with no storage. I dread the enormous task of clearing their 4-bedroom house, annex, and workshop when the time comes.
AIBU to think what they are asking of us is very selfish?

They could outlive you
You could be divorced
One or both might need care home fees

But thoughts and prayers

YABVU.

Either tell them to re-do their wills as you’re happy for them to leave everything inc. the house to the local Cats and Dogs home and let them solve the problem for you.

Or, if you’re wanting to inherit the house, stay humble and accept that to be gifted a house worth several thousand pounds involves a tiny bit of graft.

If they are in their 70's you might not have to do anything for another 20 years or so anyway.

Is your DH the sole beneficiary or does he have siblings?

House clearance will get rid of it all.
When my DM died, I DID have some of her stuff, until I felt ready to get rid of it all. But I did not have too much, and have kept just one of two items out of loads.
Similarly, when my DMIL went into a Care Home, my DH did not want to get rid of her stuff (in this case its a bit different as she was not actually deceased), so everything went into suitcases in our loft, again, until my DH felt ready to dispose of it all. In this case, some of it was sold, some junked, and some to charity shops.

That reminds me - a friend had to clear a parent's flat. Her sibling found 7k in the bath panel.

We have this to a certain extend with FIL. No hoarded items in the main house as MIL won’t allow it but the (huge) loft and garage have to be seen to be believed. FIL has said he wants us to go through his stuff before throwing it away ‘because there are things there that other people will find useful’ but DH has been clear that he’s not spending months picking through it all and a skip will be obtained. MIL is in full agreement even if she is left if FIL goes first, that his hoarded stuff will just be cleared out. He has started to go through things and put some stuff on Freecycle but it’s a very slow process and isn’t likely to do more than scratch the surface of the issue.

MIL has very sensibly started a list which she has circulated around the family for people to note down if there’s anything they would like to keep after PIL have gone. A very good idea and it means that there will (hopefully!) be no squabbling when the time comes. TBH we only noted down two very small items of furniture which I wouldn’t be heartbroken about if someone else decided they must have them. Our adult DC just claimed a couple of things of sentimental value to them from their childhood times with the GP. All the rest will have to go. FIL sometimes says things like ‘After I’ve gone make sure you ask x about my tools before getting rid of them’ but DH bats it back and reminds his dad that he can’t dictate what happens after he’s gone and we will do whatever works best for MIL and seems sensible at the time.

You cant be forced to inherit. Decline.

Do you expect them to clear out their precious (to them) possessions and just sit an an almost empty house for however many years it takes them to die? Ghastly!

Absolutely do a thorough check.

My parents have told me they have 30K stashed in the loft inside an old suitcase.

Fil was like this but he grew up very poor and didn’t even have enough food to feed everyone. He always kept everything cos it might come in handy one day. It took a few weeks to sort but at the end of the day it was a lot less stressful to clear without him around. It would have been hell for him and me trying to part with anything whilst he was still alive.

I wish people wouldn’t talk about this couple as though they have already died.

OP, it’s pointless trying to convince them that their possessions are worthless. When the time comes ask a couple of friends to give you a hand, hire a skip and fill it with the stuff that charity shops won’t take eg CDs. Then ask a charity to come and take what they want. Then ask a clearance company to come. In the south they are very expensive and tend to look for stuff they can make money on. If they can’t, they charge you more.

Whatever you do, don’t take anything home with you unless you really want it and can make use of it. I am still storing masses of my mum’s stuff because it’s a shame to get rid of. She’s been dead for 30 years!

I cannot imagine saying this to someone. Its such a cold thing to say, its awful.

Presumably you will get the house and be glad of the money when you sell it.

I'd smile & nod, then as soon as they shuffle off the mortal coil book a skip!

I'd drop the subject. You won't change them and are much more likely to just hurt their feelings. It's really not worth that at all. It's a bit of a shame you've already told them that all their stuff is tat (I'm not saying it is, just that it would have been better left unsaid) because you can't unsay it. They will remember that.

When the time comes and they have either died or gone into a care home then just look through the house, take a few things that you do like as mementoes and then get a house clearance company in. That way they won't even know, and they won't need to.

My mum had this problem with her parents and at first she got very overwhelmed and stressed she had to go through every room and sort it . She worried she may regret losing something.
But thankfully came to the realisation that all she really wanted was personal paper work like marriage cert and such. And photo albums . And a few ornaments that had been on display since she was a child. The rest they had horded over the years and didnt hold sentimental value to my mum . So she just asked a local company to empty the house and do what they wanted with the contents.
She has never regretted it. She realised the stress of the house was overshadowing her grief at the loss of her parents . And her health started to suffer because of it.

Buy them each a copy of the book ‘no one wants your shit’ for Christmas.

I love antique crockery and enjoy a rummage round charity shops to add to my collection! I do think of the life it previously had and its former owners.

Maybe they could buy them a copy of "why we're leaving all our money to the cats home" in return.

When I see the word selfish in this context I find myself hoping that everything of value, including the house, has been left to the Cat's Home, other charities are available! Young people may learn as they grow up that 'hoarding' is also being careful and whilst that it may be junk to you, to them it's a lot of memories of bringing up a family.

Having been disinherited by a different family member
I can promise that is a BAD move

This is a common issue with hoarders. They're so possessive and paranoid over their precious hoard that they'll hide the small, genuinely valuable proportion of their "collection" amongst the tat and the trash to keep it "safe".
The other variation is scooping stuff up into doom boxes/ bags where it's all jumbled together.

There's also a general issue of collectables that the things that people aged 70-90+ "invested" in such as ceramics and crystal are not valued by younger generations. The supply is extensive as a generation of collectors passes on, but there is minimal demand, so that things that had value in the 70s-80s aren't even accepted in chartity shops now.

That's aside from the accumulated broken, outdated or worn out crap that wasn't reasonably cleared out over time. Then the dirt from an inability to clean it. Damp/ mould from poor ventilation. Pest damage... just moths if you're lucky... mice or even detritis from pets that accumulates. Even the theoretically good stuff that's there gets ruined or contaminated so it's just as junky as the rest of it.

Hoarding is the same league of selfish as issues like alcoholism.
There's the false, deluded dream of what a gift the collection is, when all it is is leaving a grim, emotional, complex chore to complete in the face of fresh bereavement.

The one I mentioned is an actual book about decluttering.

YABU. They can live their life as they wish. I cleared my parents home which was rammed full of stuff alone yes it was hard work and I could have paid a company but those things meant something to my parent and I came across some sentimental things that I chose to keep

The OP says the in-laws have a massive house. Surely,if the OP inherits that massive house,they can pay someone to clear it?

When we called on her once my late MIL was having a 'big sidation' aka decluttering, she had emptied cupboards and drawers, about to black bag it all. She was the end of the family line, her mother's stuff, her brother and his wife's stuff and the brother's wife had had loads of stuff from people we'd never heard of. We started to look through if and found some amazing stuff, as well as family photos, certificates we also found Christmas cards from the Somme and other war zones, some with original poetry written on wafer thin paper. There was her mother's wedding certificate dated three months before MIL's birth, a woman held up to us as a paragon of all that's good and holy. Luckily we managed to rescue what we wanted, what our daughters will do with it I don't know.