To think DS doesn’t haveautism

[TakingItall]

So the word autism has never been said by professionals. He is going through a asd assessment but I know this doesn’t mean he has it. He was non verbal until 4 and a half now he is saying some words like “bed” “milk” etc. He doesn’t like routine but that might just be him as I am the same. He understands things like get your shoes or coat. He doesn’t like being wet he will freak out but I don’t know anyone who would like to get wet when they are dressed. School said he will gag if children in the school hall are having pasta or something but maybe he just doesn’t like pasta. He won’t socialise with other children but I like to be left alone too. School says he has no sense of danger but surely this is normal for 4 year olds.

They are trying to aim asd at him and I don’t think it’s fair as he’s only 4 and they need to give him time to develop

Sorry didn’t leave a gap in title🤦🏻‍♀️

Why don’t you think he has autism? What do you think is going on?

Who is “they”

and why don’t you wait for the conclusion of the assessment before getting worked up about this, as you may be wrong.

Because he might just be delayed

School

The amount of teacher time your son must require Op must be extensive. He can’t talk and has very very high needs

Honestly it sounds like you're in denial and it's very likely he does infact have autism. Waiting a few more years without proper support in place won't magically close the gap and mean he catches up.

I understand that but maybe he just needs time to develop his speech

From what you’ve described, I am asking certain your son is autistic.

And you should accept any and all support

Maybe

and in the meantime, if a class of 30, your son requires pretty much 1-2-1, for which the school will not be receiving any funding for at this stage

He is very loving and will give eye contact and point so I am confused

He maybe or he maybe delayed and have autism.

There is a big difference between dislike and freak out.

Why don’t you agree to the assessment and then you will find out the answer.

I just don’t want him to be labelled something he is not. There is nothing wrong with being autistic but labelling him so young just seems wrong

So he's only just started talking recently?As you describe him as 4 now - so closer to 5 if he didn't talk till 4.5?

I think this should be left to the professionals to diagnose, just as it would be for a medical condition. Each of the behaviours you describe is not proof or evidence of anything, but the whole picture of how he is might be enough to meet the threshold for diagnosis. You're his parent so you aren't in a position to be objective. Plus, it's possible that you also have autistic traits but think they are 'normal' because you don't know differently yet (I speak from experience here!).

You say he is being assessed now? So when will you know the upshot?

He is 5 in February

I’m similar. My son does have indeed ASD - but so do I. Which is why i never realised his behaviour was unusual;)

Why don’t you just go ahead with the assessment - the professionals will be able to diagnose if he has ASD or not and will then put support in place if need be.
The school SEN team have a duty of care to flag if they spot the signs and all of the things you list sound like high needs ASD and I am experienced in this, having a ND child myself.
You sound in denial and you need to better support your child by accessing these services rather than worrying about labels.

They said it can take years

I appreciate it must be very confusing but none of those things means he doesn't also have autism. He will still be the same loving child but if they complete an assessment on him that identifies his needs he will be a loving child who also has appropriate support put into place.

And he’s not talking aside from the odd word

If hes being assessed for autism, there will already be evidence from professionals meaning there is a chance that he may be autistic. That's how the process works.

All the instances of you saying "but thats how I am" - I cannot tell you how many people I know who have been diagnosed as autistic and/or having ADHD off the back of their child/ren being assessed.

He is who he is. Any diagnosis won't change that, but will aid him (and others) in understanding who he is.

This must be a reverse?! Why would any parent make the appointments and go through with the referrals if they didn’t believe it?! It’s an uphill battle to get referrals and assessments, it’s not a passive process OP. Which I would have thought you would know if you had ever dealt with this system.

Please do some research OP. Autistic kids are not unloving. They can make eye contact. Having a diagnosis is not a ‘label’.