To think DS doesn’t haveautism

[TakingItall]

So the word autism has never been said by professionals. He is going through a asd assessment but I know this doesn’t mean he has it. He was non verbal until 4 and a half now he is saying some words like “bed” “milk” etc. He doesn’t like routine but that might just be him as I am the same. He understands things like get your shoes or coat. He doesn’t like being wet he will freak out but I don’t know anyone who would like to get wet when they are dressed. School said he will gag if children in the school hall are having pasta or something but maybe he just doesn’t like pasta. He won’t socialise with other children but I like to be left alone too. School says he has no sense of danger but surely this is normal for 4 year olds.

They are trying to aim asd at him and I don’t think it’s fair as he’s only 4 and they need to give him time to develop

Single words would be more normal at something 1.5-2, your son is nearly 5 OP.

A 3 year old still only saying single words would be considered 'delayed'. By nearly 5 im not surprised they are now thinking there may be more to it.

Usually im the first person to say autism should not just be assumed but I have to say it does sound like something really needs investigating in the case of your son. Big deep breaths as im sure its not easy thinking about this sort of thing, but maybe try and see it as a positive if a diagnosis may help him access support and interventions that could help him develop?

You say labelling , I say diagnosing.

I am not meaning to be selfish I would do anything for him it’s just very confusing and over whelming and I want him to be ok

Ask for a meeting with school SENCO, take someone else with you if you get overwhelmed in meetings. They can take notes and you can talk about it in more detail at home

What do you mean what support is there for children with autism? There's lots of doors that are opened by a diagnosis, do you have a child with autism?

My daughter is autistic and loving, empathetic, extremely intelligent and intuitive - very verbally bright, good language skills. But nursery staff noticed - then school - then us - she was diagnosed by age 8 and is no longer in mainstream school by 11.

It's a big thing to take on a life long assessment OP I know that!

But you should take any help you can get.

Is there? My DS got his diagnosis and nothing changed in terms of support for us tbh. Just a letter to confirm what we had suspected.

The support is very thin on the ground if there is any.

As a mother of an autistic child, and someone who has worked extensively with ASD children, it does sound like your son is on the spectrum.

A diagnosis won’t change him, but it will make both his and your lives easier when accessing support. He needs a lot of 1:1 time, and that can be implemented full time, which will help your son to develop and explore his interests.

Please don’t be scared of the whole process, as overwhelming as it can feel sometimes, it’s there to support you and your son and your family. So that he can enjoy life to the full, and blossom.

There are websites you can look at @TakingItall which might help. So you can be prepared for meeting at school

@puppymaddness there is no stigma and it's not a label. It's a fact - it's like you can call the moon anytime it's still the moon. If you are autistic - understanding that helps you function better in the world.

even if you never had any support at all - you yourself would know, you would know your child better by understanding autism.

Parents can parent with more information - I am a better parent to my autistic child for knowing and understanding her autism.

Hi OP. I never considered by daughter has autism until she became very poorly - initially with depression and then severe anorexia, ending up in a psych ward - due to the strain of 'masking' and trying to fit in when she didn't really understand social cues, and was struggling with sensory issues. She was diagnosed at 17 and it was really life-changing for her. She is now flying, with lots of friends, and studying psychology at uni. She has bi-weekly autism counselling sessions and a load of specialist aids from the Disabled Students service. I just wish she could have been spared all the pain of her early life. The earlier your son can get a diagnosis, the better.

The assessments are very in depth and will take into account all professionals opinions that are working with your son. Having the right diagnosis can be very beneficial for understanding what support might be needed. It won’t change anything about your son it just means he’ll be able to access support if needed. Even if your son does catch up with speech etc - it doesn’t mean he’s not autistic. I have an autistic child that loves hugs and trying to speak to everyone - not all autistic people are the same.

please consider seeking assessment for yourself. That process might help you to understand why this is helpful for your child.

OP you have a very rigid view of Autism. People present in different ways, that’s all. I think it’s positive school has put in a referral.

you say speech and language go in once a week but then further up once every 6 weeks? How much does he actually have? We found the therapy invaluable when DS was young.

My ds has autism, and he is loving and does eye contact

DS was able to take his exams in a small room, use loops if he needed and could have had breaks if he needed them. He got the interview questions in advance for some of the degree apprenticeships he applied for. He has had a meeting with an OT through work and reasonable adjustments made for him (access to a quiet room if he becomes overwhelmed) although he has never needed to use it because he feels so well supported and loves his work (software engineering). The biggest thing though is that he understands why he is the way he is.

Does anybody have any advice about his school? I have had no meetings with them yet but SIL says I should have. Sorry if I have missed any posts about this

Sounds very much like autism to me. It also sounds very much like my DS, DH and me. But then we all have diagnosis of ASD.

We all found being diagnosed very helpful. DH and I because it explained why we were like we are, and could stop feeling inadequate and guilty, and stop trying to force ourselves to be normal (and failing)

And it meant that DS got extra help at school, and was able to go to a club for ASD children. This has really helped him, as he had no friends at school, so having some outside of school was very beneficial.

We are all much happier with our 'labels'.

It’s every 6 weeks, I must have mis typed

@TakingItall contact the school and ask for a meeting with the SENCO, the person at school who is responsible for coordinating the SEN provision for the school.

An almost 5 year old who has a handful of words has speech and language therapy every 6 weeks???

Could you name some? For children as young as 4? For which diagnosis of ASD is required? Genuinely would really like to know/ understand. I have a (very young) child on the assessment pathway.

Yes that’s what it says on his latest report

If he doesn’t have Autism he won’t be diagnosed. It’s not about the “label” it’s about him being able to get the correct help and education.

I’m going through this with my daughter at the moment who is a little younger, do I wan’t her to be autistic, nope, no parents do, but I will
make sure she has appropriate help at school and the best education she can. You need to realise autism is a possibility and the sooner you find out the better, it’s likely he will be on the waiting list for sometime, it’s a slow process, he will progress, but he will need some help doing so. You won’t do him any favours by delaying this.

They tried to involve you with the EHCP but you were too “overwhelmed”

They have probably tried to involve you with getting the ball rolling on an assessment