To think DS doesn’t haveautism

[TakingItall]

So the word autism has never been said by professionals. He is going through a asd assessment but I know this doesn’t mean he has it. He was non verbal until 4 and a half now he is saying some words like “bed” “milk” etc. He doesn’t like routine but that might just be him as I am the same. He understands things like get your shoes or coat. He doesn’t like being wet he will freak out but I don’t know anyone who would like to get wet when they are dressed. School said he will gag if children in the school hall are having pasta or something but maybe he just doesn’t like pasta. He won’t socialise with other children but I like to be left alone too. School says he has no sense of danger but surely this is normal for 4 year olds.

They are trying to aim asd at him and I don’t think it’s fair as he’s only 4 and they need to give him time to develop

I don’t understand what you mean by reverse sorry. I am just going off what professionals are telling me to do. I will go to every appointment I was just thinking maybe they are over reacting

Your son is very likely developmentally delayed, from what you've said here. The school are being responsible by pushing for an exploration as to any possible diagnosis, and autism is one of the possibilities. It's important to get him assessed as much to rule it out as to diagnose him.

Additional support should be being provided by the school, regardless of any diagnosis. Have you had any contact with the health visitors, or your GP about his development?

Aren't you worried? Mine only says some single words and he is nearly four. I am trying every day to improve this because I realise he is really behind and it is a real worry . Is SALT involved? You sound very passive.

Op, my dd just turned 4 last week and is so risk averse. There will be so many children who do or don’t tick various box’s, but it’s good the school are investigating this so he gets the right support if he needs it. There is also a possibility you have undiagnosed ASD too

He has a speech and language therapist that comes into school to see him every 6 weeks

Have you ever been assessed for autism OP?

It's not a label - it's a diagnostic and a tool to a much better understanding of him for everyone.
It's really not a negative thing.
My DD is autistic. Super bright, affectionate, social, but still autistic. Assessed in her teens and knowing and understanding that about herself has been a very helpful thing for her.
Your son is not at the same place as his peers and that may be temporary or it may not - understanding why and what might help him will need expert support.
Try not to worry.

I am worried yes but also don’t want to worry too much

OP, you state a lot of "like me". Gently, do you think it is possible you might be on the spectrum and you are finding that to be a confronting idea?

Because we all are pretty gob smacked that

a) you don’t think your son is asd given what you outline

b) you are fighting the school on this

c) not recognising fact your son will be demanding inordinate amount of 1-2-1 from the school, which they will be reviewing zilch support for

There is nothing wrong with being ASD and understanding this will help him understand himself and the things he finds difficult. This isn’t about you or what you want or how you understand ASD. It’s about him and his needs.

OP has anyone ever suggested that you may benefit from being assessed?

What do you mean by "heard children can be delayed"?
You've got a child who been non verbal for over 4 years, what professionals have you taken him to or sought advice from?

Are you concerned that you might be autistic? You keep mentioning a symptom or trait and then saying "but I'm also like this" as if that automatically means he can't be autistic.

I was just thinking maybe they are over reacting

I don't really understand what you mean by overreacting would you rather they did nothing and put in no support for the next few years to give him the time you think he needs to develop?

They are being proactive and trying to ensure he gets support as quickly as possible, most parents would be delighted people cared enough about their child thriving to seek help so swiftly.

Okay, lets put the possible autism to one side for one minute.
He's showing clear signs of delay that have been present for a while now. What investigations have doctors done into finding the cause so far, are you getting the support you need from your GP?

He’s almost 5

Has he had any speech and language therapy Op?

I assume what OP means is that he is on the autism pathway- ie on the waiting list for an assessment.

I would say it is highly likely your son will receive an ASD diagnosis, not speaking at the age of nearly 5 is a significant delay not “just a bit delayed”. Whilst children develop at different rates were usually talking weeks/months in terms of gaps not years.

I do meet a lot of parents in denial and hoping that their child will just catch up. It’s understandable especially at this age when they still seem like over grown toddlers it’s easy to not see it as a significant difference or by saying “oh lots of four year old don’t like/do this. But that developmental gap will feel even bigger in a few years time and your son’s difference will impact him.

diagnosis or no diagnosis your son needs additional support. Focus less on the “label” and more on how you can engage with school to maximise the help he gets by properly understanding his needs. Access to assessments and professional support is limited these days so if it’s being offered it’s for a good reason.

So he has had speech and language therapy and they come into school and see him every week. He has a ehcp at school. That is all I know. Nobody has been in touch apart from my local council to say he has been accepted to be assessed for autism

This is what I am wondering 🤔

If he has an ehcp surely you were part of that process?

There is a big difference between using the word labelling and a diagnosis

Exactly

OP?

You should have been involved with EHCP. Diagnosis can take ages (so can EHCP so you are lucky to have that in place already).

Anyone in your family have autism, any chance you may?

it looks probable he is on the autistic spectrum but regardless he needs help also consider if you yourself could be autistic