To not understand the "holidays with small children is just parenting in a different place" complaints?

[LadyGreyjoy]

We have an 18 month old and have just got back from a week all inclusive in Spain. Obviously we did just parent out daughter in a different place, but I don't see that as a bad thing and certainly not a reason to say there was no point in going. I love being a mum, I waited a long time for my daughter due to infertility and I've been dreaming of family holidays for years. Whilst I still had to do the parenting (which I enjoy doing anyway) I didn't have to cook, wash up or clean, the food was lovely and far better than we cook at home, I did no laundry for a week and instead of working all day and only getting two hours in the evening with my daughter a day I got to play in the pool/on the beach with her all day every day for a week. After she was asleep instead of watching TV and being too tired to do anything we sat on the balcony listening to the music from the bar and drank cocktails and chatted, real quality time with my husband I am usually too tired to enjoy.

On here there are many threads making out a holiday with small children is shit and not worth the effort and that hasn't been my experience at all. The journey there and back was a bit rough and exactly what I expected it to be like tbh. Other than that it's been bliss and I would 10/10 recommend people go and do it. I was kind of dreading it after reading all the threads here but I wish I hadn't worried about it so much now.

I could and would never work 6am - 7pm 4 days a week and then husband work the other days. So barely any family time together ever.

However I “understand” why others would and do.

I don't think I'm making others feel bad about it. I'm genuinely heartbroken about it myself. We spent so much time and effort and hard earned money for holidays we thought the kids would love (we planned it around them fully) and they hated every minute of it, it was horrible. We had meltdowns after meltdowns at every step of the way, broken nights and 5am start, I literally cried every night because of the intense stress we had every day, then trying to put a brave face on every morning. I'm saying that it isn't just a question of "enjoying holiday with your kids" or "do XYZ and it'll all be fine". For some kids and some parents, sometimes it doesn't matter how well prepared and well intentioned you are, it all turns to shit. 😪

Oh lush holidays are fabulous

Mine would always sleep at home.i was sleep training queen. But on holiday would take so much longer.
OP, with one kid its pretty easy because you can adapt to them, be flexible, more easy going, deal with the odd tantrum and be in tune with their needs .But when you have two or three or four children (as we do) all wanting different things, getring tired, cross, hot and hungry at different times it is a lot harder.
Our DD always started waking up ridiculously early on holiday (like 4.30am whereas DS2 wouldn't go to sleep until 11pm. It wasn't all that relaxing. Lots of fun though in between the craziness.

Rather that than a pile on poster!

She had a nice holiday with her dd, good for her. My sense of self isn't decimated by someone else having a nice holiday.

I remember going away w DD at around 16 months. To be fair the weather wasn’t the greatest but she was going through a very fussy food stage, so barely ate. We’d go out to restaurants in the evenings and she was grumpy but wouldn’t sleep in the buggy. Back in the flat she had to sleep in the bedroom on her own and we slept in the lounge on the sofabed (I was also pregnant w DS at this point).
She was also taking first steps (I have late walkers) so that added a nice dimension too.
Shes 23 now but I remember that holiday well! It wasn’t all bad, but it was not a nice relaxing break!

We had lots of fantastic camping and self catering holidays with our children from babyhood to teenage years.

Took turns to entertain them and be with them at the pool. I often had a chance to sit and read while husband was with them. A few ski holidays, too. All great fun and agree with you, OP.

You don't know the first time though do you? You don't know how your child will cope with a particular type of holiday until you are on it. We did of course adjust what we did on subsequent holidays and we have lovely holidays now. Some children really struggle with staying in a different place and being out of routine.

instead of working all day and only getting two hours in the evening with my daughter a day I got to play in the pool/on the beach with her all day every day for a week

I think parents who care for their small children all day throughout the week anyway would probably feel differently.

I agree op, i've enjoyed all our family holidays, whatever age the kids

When I was a kid I always remember my Mum not liking holidays and as an adult and parent I can fully appreciate why! I’m the eldest of five and fourteen years older than my youngest sibling.

We would stay at the seaside or the Yorkshire Dales, self catering so my Mum still had to cook dinner for us every night just in a kitchen that wasn’t well equipped. My Dad would take us older ones out walking and my Mum looked after the younger ones. We were all allergic to dust so my Mum had to clean them top to bottom so we didn’t wheeze all week (they were never clean enough). So it was far from a holiday for her. I know she chose to have us all and I loved our family holidays.

Well I love parenting hence I'm dedicating my life to it. But I'd love it at home or at a resort so I only go on holiday for the kids really. I don't need a holiday from a life that I love.

Post holiday I’m usually in a lovely relaxed post holiday glow

The op instead is struggling to understand how other parents view different types of holidays

OP… you need to book another holiday pronto!

I had a couple of holidays with ds1 when I was a single parent, and took my mother along too, that were very hard work indeed. One was camping and I gave up after 3 nights because he wouldn't sleep until gone 11pm and would wake at 5 am. The other holiday was self-catering in Tenerife and he did the same there, plus he wouldn't eat most of the food available.

So I didn't go away for a few years. The next time I went was with XH2, ds1 and ds2 and it was a totally different experience and has remained so. Having a 'hands on' husband when ds2 was little made a huge difference, as did having ds1 as an older 'big brother'. There was more money available, so eating out was the norm and eating in was fun.

There are a lot of factors that contribute to an enjoyable holiday with children and sometimes you only need one factor to go wrong and your holiday feels like hard work instead of a relaxing break. It's really not hard to imagine that other people's experiences might differ from one's own.

We had wonderful holidays with young children. It requires both parents to be involved, and if just lounging by a pool and drinking are your thing, then it's probably going to be a disappointment.

It's almost like we're all individuals with different experiences 😂 holiday with my 18 month old when she was an only... bliss.

Holiday with my 3.5 and 1.5 year old. Not so much holiday camp, more like bootcamp with my 3.5 year old as sergeant major 😂

Enjoy the smugness while it lasts. I've been sorely humbled!

Yep agree. I did it once - we had a family wedding abroad so had to. Then I refused to go on holiday abroad again until they were older. It was that horrific.

You have 1 "barely toddler". Try with two (or more) very active pre-schoolers, and come back to me.

The thing is you're paying big bucks for a slightly better time (if you're lucky). Taking a week off and being at home would be easier as you have all your toys, child proofing etc and you could still go out for lunch, dinner, day trips etc. I didn't go abroad until my first was 3, then after my second child, I waited until he was 3 (& my eldest was 7). For me and probably most people, it is a waste of much needed money to go away and still struggle with tantrums, lack of sleep etc especially when the child won't remember it.

I’ve done 9 holidays with my 3 year old. Some were great, some were so shit that I was close to booking early flights how.
You’ve had one holiday with an 18 month old (who probably still naps) and I’m glad it went well, but please save the smug, condescending posts. It doesn’t actually achieve anything and you may be eating your words in 12 months time.

It doesn’t actually
I’m a single parent and had wonderful holidays with my two when young

We have to predominantly self cater due to my autistic child's issues and my partners intolerances / allergies. I make "ready meals" and freeze them for a few weeks beforehand if we are holidaying in the UK. That makes for a really peaceful break for me. We do then eat the odd fish and chip supper or cake / icecream out. Abroad can be really tough, particularly with the kid. Meatballs and spaghetti is fine but it must the RIGHT meatballs, bolognese is great as long at is the one I make, pizza is fine as long as it specifcally looks and tastes like the one she likes... etc... She nearly starved to death in Italy and we thought that would be easy as pasta and pizza are her most tolerated foods!

Our last holiday with our two (5 and 2) was so hideous due to their behaviour (mainly the 5 year old, then 4) that we were seriously debating coming home early and at the moment do not want to book another one. It was seriously the holiday from hell because of how they acted. 18 months is an easy age, come back when you've had 10 years of it.

Camping would be my idea of hell - as would sking. Never liked pool hoildays much either. If we'd picked those style we'd have all been miserable.

My MIL had a bad self catering holiday in UK where she claimes it rain solid for two whole weeks - put her foot down and rest of DH childhood was hotels abroad.

There an element of finding and affording a holiday that suits everyone on it.

We could do UK self catering as DH and I both pitch in with cooking/cleaning up and make it as easy as possible on ourselfs so there is some take out and easy meals and weather been mostly okay.

Unlike my parents we've paid more for accomodation so odd day in with poor UK weather been nice itself and afternoons in after morning at beach been easy as nearby - that was less an option for my parents who often had to go as cheap as possible accomodation wise so long walk back and not great place to hang out.

Most of the post I've seen complain have kids who can't cope with changes - or are going now through a bad phase - or wider family or money is an additional stress or something else hasn't gone as planned and there huge guilt about the "wasted" money and so much additional pressure to enjoy the hoilday.

We did a couple holidays when DC1 was under 2. Was fine, no issues besides melt downs. Generally people are helpful when they see you with a baby.

We just did a recent all inclusive holiday with a 3.5 and 1 year. It was nice, but I don't think I'd do it again.