To not understand the "holidays with small children is just parenting in a different place" complaints?

[LadyGreyjoy]

We have an 18 month old and have just got back from a week all inclusive in Spain. Obviously we did just parent out daughter in a different place, but I don't see that as a bad thing and certainly not a reason to say there was no point in going. I love being a mum, I waited a long time for my daughter due to infertility and I've been dreaming of family holidays for years. Whilst I still had to do the parenting (which I enjoy doing anyway) I didn't have to cook, wash up or clean, the food was lovely and far better than we cook at home, I did no laundry for a week and instead of working all day and only getting two hours in the evening with my daughter a day I got to play in the pool/on the beach with her all day every day for a week. After she was asleep instead of watching TV and being too tired to do anything we sat on the balcony listening to the music from the bar and drank cocktails and chatted, real quality time with my husband I am usually too tired to enjoy.

On here there are many threads making out a holiday with small children is shit and not worth the effort and that hasn't been my experience at all. The journey there and back was a bit rough and exactly what I expected it to be like tbh. Other than that it's been bliss and I would 10/10 recommend people go and do it. I was kind of dreading it after reading all the threads here but I wish I hadn't worried about it so much now.

Wow you have got a whole lot of shit on this thread op. I do get what you are saying though as we have gone on holiday with both of ours from babies.

I think people have absolutely picked apart your every comment which is unfair.

Yes, it’s easier with one. You can trade off and have space and time when they nap and bedtimes can be hard with 2 in a shared room. Also kids that aren’t good sleepers or need routine can be harder work on holiday. Kids or babies with allergies or any SEN needs can also be a different situation. Also it can sometimes pull into focus unsupportive partners or money worries.

That said my husband and I thrive off adventure and change and experiences so the ‘top up’ of a beautiful view, playing in the pool with our kids or trying new foods are all worth a shocking plane journey or unsettled nights (and my kids have always been awful sleepers) but that’s just us. I need that in my life and the trade off for me is worth it.

After my second was born I was a little rocky from a mental health point of view and I’ll be honest that I dreaded a couple of those type of holidays. I put a lot of pressure on myself for them to be perfect and found them very hard work.

When my mental health was better and I could ‘roll with the punches’ so to speak then I’ve enjoyed every break we have been on with the kids. Even an afternoon in the room with a picnic from the buffet after being in the pool seems like a delight.

I do totally get what you are saying though as on balance without any of the individual challenges above I’ve mentioned I would enjoy any holiday with my family. I love their company and time off work with them on holiday is a pleasure.

I guess we are very lucky though and privileged, I think that’s the point and maybe why people have been tough on you. Absolutely revel in the fact that you are in such a good place after probably a rocky number of years but with the knowledge that it is a privilege to be there.

Five kids under ten. the majority of whom never slept.

That is why I hated holidays with children. It was all right with number one, but by the time two and three had come along there was almost always one having a tantrum or violently opposing whatever we were doing. Number four was biddable but by then the lack of sleep was making me hallucinate. Number five was born shortly before my marriage imploded totally.

It was FAR easier to stay at home.

😂

The sheer desperation to belittle is hilarious

It is hilarious. They are frothing at the mouth with the insults! Look at them winding themselves up! Acting like nasty little schoolgirls.

Trust me, the ship for a reasonable conversation has long sailed here.

Yes 6-8 am is spent looking after the horses before work. Are you stalking me now!? 😂

Get a life! 😂

Why are you so obsessed with my life?

@LadyGreyjoy

why can’t your sister do both? We don’t have to give up our social life entirely when we become a parent you know!

Honestly @Ducklove I'm worried about you.

This kind of aggressive attack on a complete strangers life and obsession with my schedule isn't normal. You were a bully at school weren't you. Bitchy little girls never grow up.

Of course she can do both, as do I! The point was she doesn't begrudge the time doing kid stuff as she'd rather be doing her own thing instead.

The thing with mum friends from groups is I tried it and found them all either boring or just wanting to complain.

I already have a group of very close friends, some who have children of ages ranging from younger than mine to grown up. All of the parent experiences I would ever need to discuss with a friend have already been experienced by these friends so they understand and we talk about it or will be experienced by them at the same time. My sister's children are the same age as my daughter and we talk a lot.t my life is rich with these close relationships. There a few friends who I love but would never follow their examples in parenting and there are friends I find inspiring as parents who are raising wonderful children.

I don't see any value in trying to make new relationships with people I have nothing in common with when my life is already full of supportive people, especially when mum groups in my experience were a place to vent and not a happy or positive atmosphere. You are correct in that I'm quite shy and don't enjoy socialising for the sake of it, which makes small talk with strangers my idea of hell.

You are being very aggressive in your attempts to shit on my life. You really need some introspection if you think your behaviour is normal.

No I don't think it's relevant. It's about enjoying holidaying with your kids or not, not how often you gone holiday or why.

Why don't you answer some of my questions and share your life so we can all collectively mock you? It's only fair!

What hours do you work? You know all about mine and if you think the amount of work I do sounds horrendous that tells me you're lazy.

How much time do you spend with your husband and are you in marital bliss?

What is it in your life that drives you to tear others down? Why the fake pity approach rather than having the balls to just own your nastiness? What's your backstory huh? What on made you like this?

More prying into my life 😂 god you're obsessed!

Why do you care where I am?

I think you may be misinterpreting people that complain about doing certain things with their kids, to be fair.

For instance, I don't like soft play centres, I find them noisy, sometimes dirty, crap expensive food/drinks, some of the parents AND kids are really annoying.. the list goes on of how much I really don't like them.

BUT I still take my 4 year old DD to them and pretend to enjoy it with her because she loves them! I may complain about it in private, but I'd never tell her and I certainly don't begrudge doing it because seeing her happy makes me happy!

Just because someone complains anonymously about not particularly liking something, doesn't me they do it reluctantly or resentfully, it's all part of parenting.

Ok now this is a stupid question.

I had no shared interests, shared education levels or shared life experiences with the mums I met at a couple of the mum groups I tried. We talked about tongue ties and breast feeding for three weeks then when that blew over we had nothing else to talk about other than baby talk and what was on TV. I personally found this dull.

You must have known that you would get snippy responses after criticising other mums for saying that they don’t enjoy holidays with young children, surely? And on AIBU you always will get snippy comments, it’s the way it is on here.

Can I ask what kind of responses you were hoping for when you posted your thread? I get that some posters have been snarky and unkind to you, which was uncalled for (though as I said you always get some like that on here), but quite a lot of us have simply shared our own experiences of holidays with our DC, which I’ve actually found very interesting.

I agree the first few pages were an interesting discussion.

I didn't have a set response in mind though I was expecting a.fair few people moaning about privilege as that's always the way here. A lot of posters have agreed with my perspective and given different examples of how they've enjoyed their holidays with kids, even unconventional ones. The camping stories from the posters who clearly enjoy camping have given me the push to consider taking little one camping next summer as I miss camping since having her. The poll is pretty evenly split it's not a massive swing either way which I expected.

I certainly didn't expect a pack of attack dogs to rip my life apart that really is unhinged.