To not understand the "holidays with small children is just parenting in a different place" complaints?

[LadyGreyjoy]

We have an 18 month old and have just got back from a week all inclusive in Spain. Obviously we did just parent out daughter in a different place, but I don't see that as a bad thing and certainly not a reason to say there was no point in going. I love being a mum, I waited a long time for my daughter due to infertility and I've been dreaming of family holidays for years. Whilst I still had to do the parenting (which I enjoy doing anyway) I didn't have to cook, wash up or clean, the food was lovely and far better than we cook at home, I did no laundry for a week and instead of working all day and only getting two hours in the evening with my daughter a day I got to play in the pool/on the beach with her all day every day for a week. After she was asleep instead of watching TV and being too tired to do anything we sat on the balcony listening to the music from the bar and drank cocktails and chatted, real quality time with my husband I am usually too tired to enjoy.

On here there are many threads making out a holiday with small children is shit and not worth the effort and that hasn't been my experience at all. The journey there and back was a bit rough and exactly what I expected it to be like tbh. Other than that it's been bliss and I would 10/10 recommend people go and do it. I was kind of dreading it after reading all the threads here but I wish I hadn't worried about it so much now.

We haven't been on holiday for five years btw,
and you get no time with your husband
and you work 13 hour days 4x a week

bloody hell, I bet that week’s holiday went by fast!! Do you have to wait another 5 years before your next one?!

Ah - so why then didn’t you say all that in your OP?

What you were actually asking was ‘why can’t other mothers do parenting perfectly like me?’

Two autistic kids solo... or two autistic kids with useless ex is not the same as one easy going 18 month old with two engaged parents. You are lucky.

I really don’t see this Op as “privileged” at all

Multiple rounds of failed ivf and then used egg donor
works 13 hour days 4x a week
has zilch time with husband
and this one week holiday was their first in half a decade!!

sounds far from privileged

If we had just not gone, we wouldn’t have gone anywhere for years and my kids wouldn’t have experienced anything. Life and parenting isn’t stress free. My kids remember fondly all sorts of stressful moments on holiday and the things they wouldn’t have seen if we hadn’t gone, we all do, it’s part of what makes a family and it’s healthy to moan.

Training kids to think life is stress and moan free and the equivalent to all inclusive hotel is not healthy.

I know right! I feel a bit sorry for her…Hope you get another holiday soon OP and don’t have to wait so many years again! @LadyGreyjoy

Aww thanks 😘

I don't need a holiday from my life because I enjoy it so much, that's why we can hold out for five years!

Sorry you don't have the same.

Me too
sounds like this week was much needed!!

Are you going to manage to get away next year op? Or another five year wait?

i can’t imagine loving my life when I don’t spend any time with my husband because when I’m not working 13 hour days, he is working - but perhaps your marriage needs work?

Why are you so worried about it?

Are your holidays shit and stressful too?

I’m with you, op. I’ve a v nearly four year old and an eight month old and have taken them away a couple of times this year on my own and a couple of times with DH, and I love it! Not all fancy holidays either, some just cheap self catering caravan jobs. I guess it is just the same in a different location… but isn’t that the point? We get to see new places and do new things!

Someone's showing bitterness....

My marriage is great, we have 80 annual leave days a year between us used for time together, we value having daughter at home with her parents while she's young over childcare, it's the shared values in all areas of life that make our marriage so strong.

How is your marriage? People in glass houses dear!

i love my holidays with my children …. Thankfully 3 holidays a year
and I don’t need to be apart from them for 13 hours a day 4x a week to do it

As I say, I could not describe loving life when weeks and weeks of not spending any time with my husband

but you sound very happy

to a lot of us…. Going through multiple ivf, finally going with an egg donor, then working 13 hour days 4x a week and barely seeing your husband, and holiday once every half a decade… sounds bloody hard.

Yeah it was hard, and worth every minute of it. My life is perfect, and I earned it! I'm proud of that.

Happy people aren't so desperate to tear others down Curledup

Maybe privileged is the wrong word.

In the OP, she sounded either naive or goady judgmental.

She basically said she didn’t understand parents who moaned that holidays were simply parenting somewhere else because she was having a fabulous time with her easy baby, supportive spouse and all inclusive resort.

Basically ignoring the struggles of anyone who is a single parent, lower income, have ND children, or grumpy teens, or sickness while away, or a weather disaster, or an unsupportive spouse, or other CF family member.

When asked whether she might consider all those things she’s pivoted to suggesting the parents who have a little moan on MN have brought it all on themselves by daring to attempt a holiday in their current circumstances.

Now it seems that the OP thinks the moaners are not only doing parenting wrong, they are also doing poverty wrong!

Looking for mum friends around Falkirk Scotland

Wow! That's a wild take!

Not seeing you as privileged

and not seeing your life as something remotely appealing
does not mean I’m trying to cut you down

Errr wasn’t it you that started a thread criticising other parents?

I think she’s exhausted
had her first holiday in half a decade
and who knows when she’ll get another one

Op has been through struggles more than most I’d say

Oh please.

You're deriding my life choices, my life style and insulting my marriage. That is desperation to hurt someone and cut them down. You've gone for all the most sensitive parts of my life and insulted them.

Don't play coy it's embarrassing.

Is it though OP?

Your first post was saying you didn’t understand people moaning about why holidays were just like parenting at home but harder on the basis that you’d just had a very lovely stress free vacation.

Then when presented with all the reasons other people might have had a different experience instead of empathizing and admitting that makes sense, and fingers crossed you’ll continue to be the lucky one on vacations in the future, you blame the less fortunate posters for attempting their crowded caravan holiday.

How stupid they were to think it was going to be fun, eh?