To not understand the "holidays with small children is just parenting in a different place" complaints?

[LadyGreyjoy]

We have an 18 month old and have just got back from a week all inclusive in Spain. Obviously we did just parent out daughter in a different place, but I don't see that as a bad thing and certainly not a reason to say there was no point in going. I love being a mum, I waited a long time for my daughter due to infertility and I've been dreaming of family holidays for years. Whilst I still had to do the parenting (which I enjoy doing anyway) I didn't have to cook, wash up or clean, the food was lovely and far better than we cook at home, I did no laundry for a week and instead of working all day and only getting two hours in the evening with my daughter a day I got to play in the pool/on the beach with her all day every day for a week. After she was asleep instead of watching TV and being too tired to do anything we sat on the balcony listening to the music from the bar and drank cocktails and chatted, real quality time with my husband I am usually too tired to enjoy.

On here there are many threads making out a holiday with small children is shit and not worth the effort and that hasn't been my experience at all. The journey there and back was a bit rough and exactly what I expected it to be like tbh. Other than that it's been bliss and I would 10/10 recommend people go and do it. I was kind of dreading it after reading all the threads here but I wish I hadn't worried about it so much now.

Err, no?

It's a thread about the scaremongering of holidays with kids being pointless because you're still looking after your kids just in a different place being wrong. Are you confused?

I don’t see your life as remotely appealing op

you had a very rare and well deserved holiday

you’re experiencing post holiday blues by the look of it, because you sure as heck haven’t returned feeling zen!

Err yes because what you just posted makes zero sense.

No, you're definitely confused.

My first post was about still having to do as much parenting on holiday as I do at home not being a reason to call holidays "pointless because it's just parenting in a different place"

“Are you confused”

says the op “not understanding” 😆

You're still at it Curly

What a shame.

I’ll leave you to it Op

i started reading your thread thinking… what an odd OP

now I just feel sorry for you

Aww thanks. Your pity has as little effect on me as your bitchiness does so don't waste it dear.

I can't talk about those with more than one child as we only have one.. The best way is to start taking DC on hols as soon as you can and to start as you mean to go on. So if you are happy to have kiddie centred rather than family friendly hols go for that. We were quite clear, no Butlins, no camping, no places where you both stay and do organised activities. Delighted this worked for us, we've always had fun, we all like holidays in the surf or walking, we go to art galleries and museums. We do go to places with activities for a day if it's something DC will like more than us - climbing wall, theme park, steam train. But a whole holiday would not be my idea of a family holiday and it's not a given that kids want full on organised activity for a holiday given they spend their school time doing just that.

Well, unless all this scaremongering and complaints about holidays being pointless because it’s just parenting in a different place are coming from someone in your real life, who we all don’t have access to, this is a scenario that you have made up in your own head.

Because here on Mumsnet, the vast majority if not all posters who vent their frustration about a holiday where they’ve come back more exhausted than when they left are doing so because of a specific reason that you have not encountered.

They are sharing their experiences of travel disasters, awful spouses/family members, SEN kids who can’t adjust, non SEN kids who have an out of the blue meltdown, unpredictable weather that tanks the holiday etc etc.

The exhausted Mum is having a vent because from her perspective the holiday gave her no respite, no new experiences, no restful family time therefore not a holiday.

No one on here had gone away with an easy baby, a supportive spouse to an all inclusive resort and come back and said well that was pointless because it was just parenting in a different location, not doing that again!

OP, you started a post saying you ‘don’t understand’ why others don’t enjoy holidays with kids as much as you did. It’s an odd thing to say. Do you struggle in general to see that others have different setups and kids to you? Do you struggle to put yourself in others’ positions or empathise?

I had easy kids so holidays were easy and fun. Apart from weaning. Paying £8 for mashed carrot in a posh hotel 20 years ago was very painful.

I would not do an all-inclusive if you paid me. But I can understand why others like you do. Open your mind.

We have 5 kids, I've always enjoyed holidaying with them, we've genuinely always had a lovely time except once....a 3yo that tantrummed all day every day, an 8yo who moaned and whined about everything, two teenagers who were moody and sulky (mostly down to their younger sisters spoiling their holiday) the 11yo was the only one who had a good time 😂 I do remember thinking why the hell did we bother and it was more stressful than just staying at home. Luckily it was a one off but I can see why this could happen 2 or 3 times and parents may be hoping it'll be a bit different the next time (which luckily for us it was). You live and learn, but I wouldn't judge people for moaning about it.

Oof ok yeah, you've lost me with this. Awful.

@LadyGreyjoy

Alright, alright, OP.

You are right. You got me. Holidays with children are amazing. It’s not just parenting in a different place. And anyone saying otherwise is the kind of silly moaning Minnie that frequents mother and child groups. You’re right to not have mum friends - they are weak and moaning and whinging and ungrateful and unappreciative.

Happy now?

Love the condescension 😂

Most Mumsnetters are just here to piss on others parades, it's what gets them out of bed in the morning! Don't spoil the harpies' day, they certainly haven't spoiled mine 😉

Didn't come across as caring, came across as condescending. You certainly enjoyed listing all my hardships!

Having difficulties in life doesn't make poxy weeks away pure bliss by comparison clearly or all the sour pusses wouldn't be winging about their poxy caravan holidays being stressful and awful would they 🤷

I think you should accept and understand that people have different experiences to you, OP. Most often it’s that holidays feel harder than being at home due to loss of routine and home comforts for the children, especially if they are sensitive to these things. And that can feel very sad and stressful when a holiday has been really looked forward to.

Surely that’s understandable.

I call stealth boast 🤷🏽‍♀️

I don’t understand the way you have directed the thread, OP. You specifically made a post indicating that parents are unreasonable for finding holidays with young children difficult.

Yet then you make several statements indicating that it’s ok that ’different people are different’ when it comes to justifying elements of your own life that posters say isn’t for them.

So which is it?

And yet posters like wordler think I have to grovel and apologise for being able to go on an all inclusive holiday and weren't satisfied that my experience is justified without my whole life story as a qualifier because being able to go on an AI holiday is a sin that provokes uncontrollable jealousy in people. It's ridiculous!

I don't need people to be jealous of my life to be happy with it. That's a very sad place to be. I also don't value the opinions of online strangers about my life at all. I wake up every day feeling blessed with my daughter, my husband and my horse, look over the rolling hills and feel content. Then I set off to work knowing I'm working hard to make this happen, it's an immense feeling of satisfaction, I certainly don't need peoples jealousy 😂