To not understand the "holidays with small children is just parenting in a different place" complaints?

[LadyGreyjoy]

We have an 18 month old and have just got back from a week all inclusive in Spain. Obviously we did just parent out daughter in a different place, but I don't see that as a bad thing and certainly not a reason to say there was no point in going. I love being a mum, I waited a long time for my daughter due to infertility and I've been dreaming of family holidays for years. Whilst I still had to do the parenting (which I enjoy doing anyway) I didn't have to cook, wash up or clean, the food was lovely and far better than we cook at home, I did no laundry for a week and instead of working all day and only getting two hours in the evening with my daughter a day I got to play in the pool/on the beach with her all day every day for a week. After she was asleep instead of watching TV and being too tired to do anything we sat on the balcony listening to the music from the bar and drank cocktails and chatted, real quality time with my husband I am usually too tired to enjoy.

On here there are many threads making out a holiday with small children is shit and not worth the effort and that hasn't been my experience at all. The journey there and back was a bit rough and exactly what I expected it to be like tbh. Other than that it's been bliss and I would 10/10 recommend people go and do it. I was kind of dreading it after reading all the threads here but I wish I hadn't worried about it so much now.

An all inclusive with no tidying, cooking and a baby who is in bed early in another room so you can chat and spend time with your partner sounds lovely.
Staying in a caravan with multiple children, the travel cot is in the main living area so you can’t use to relax in in the evenings, the weather is awful and the children are climbing the walls and the job takes about 30 mins to book a pan of water for some pasta and you then have a piles of dishes to wash up in the tiny sink plus clean up the inevitable mess on the floor/table that comes with small children is just parenting in a different place.

Surely you can see the difference?
Oh and I really love being a mum hit that doesn’t mean it’s always fun and easy.

Yep! 2 is a struggle on holiday, different routines

Really? My eldest is 3 and I’m feeling like 4 might be the age I enjoy holidays?!

Yes the difference is between a cheap hols with little or no luxuries making life harder vs a hols with luxuries/hotel.

What you’re saying is that money can make a difference. Not that going away on hols with a baby is easier than with several, older children.

The people who complain on here that you are talking about are usually on a self catering holiday doing the lion’s share of the cooking, cleaning and laundry on top of the multi child parenting, often with no partner or a partner who is not pulling their weight. Or they have a ND child to care for.

Or they have a few annoying in-laws also along for the ride so they end up exhausted and resentful that not one bit of the holiday feels like a holiday.

I’ve never seen a complaint from someone in your type of holiday with a catered holiday, spouse on the same page, and no extra in laws or friends imposing their needs and drama on you.

Maybe op doesn't want 3-4 children, I certainly don't! And again, 'come back when you have a 4 year old'. We had great holidays when DD was 4, she loves swimming so days by the pool are perfect.

I think it's quite hurtful to suggest parents who have a really hard time on holiday and find it really, hearbreakingly difficult actually resent having their kids with them. That's not the case at all. You're ignoring all the people saying how the change of routine can affect some kids extremely badly and without all of the support and coping mechanisms you have at home, it can make it really hard to get through and enjoy - not because we resent our kids. Your post is so ignorant.

I don’t think many people are arguing that some people find holidays with kids easy. What is surprising is that the OP ‘cannot understand’ why some people may find it hard.

Did someone on this thread actually say ‘they obviously don’t like being a parent?!?!’ This trumps EVERYTHING I’ve ever read on mn. Everything!! 😅😅😅 Op, I honestly hope in ten years time you can still say what you’ve said in your op. And I really truly mean that. I hope you never experience the ‘I’m too hot/ hungry/ tired/ why have we walked so far/ I’m not walking any more/ I wish we’d never come/ you made me miss my (match/ friend’s party/ Thursday 😅😅😅’

This.

I don’t have kids but in my last job I got sick to death of one of the directors scheduling on-site client meetings at 9am so that we would have to travel up the night before and stay in a hotel. She got an evening off from her two children (who were 2 and 4, from memory) and uninterrupted sleep which was great for her, but I missed out on an evening with DP for no reason. It was fucking tiresome.

Neither you or @Agix have children and quite the view you both have!

I’m with you OP, I like holidays with my kids BUT they are and always have been good travellers and are easy going, and crucially - very close in age which means they are happy together wherever we are, got someone to play with, and are into the same kind of activities.
We have friends whose kids are 8 years apart, one has SEN and both are really fussy eaters and they HATE holidays! Just more of the same in another location as far as they are concerned ..

We’ve done various types of holidays as a family: camping, caravan, glamping, holiday cottages, self catering abroad, all inclusive. Sometimes it’s been brilliant, other times it’s been much harder work than staying home would have been.
Obviously you know your going to still be parenting on holiday but sometimes the parentings much harder depending on cooking facilities, accommodation, weather, dc’s mood and its difficult when you’ve sometimes spent a lot of money to be stressed out.
Last time we were all inclusive DD caught a sickness bug and couldn’t keep anything down, not ideal when you had to try to clean up with you’ve no cleaning products and have to ring reception for clean sheets in the middle of the night, trying to get food that she could keep down and in the end having to navigate communicating with a doctor when you don’t speak much Spanish and he doesn’t speak much English.

If you have ND DCs holidays can be a nightmare if they can’t cope with change. Also not all DC appreciate parents having saved up to take them away- i’ve been lucky as our DC are fairly good & appreciative but i’ve witnesses DC making their parents miserable because they’d rather be home with their friends than be on holiday with their parents. Totally understand why some people don’t think holidays are enjoyable with DC.

I often think how I wish I could go back to when my eldest was younger and have a holiday like you experienced, I can imagine it’s lovely. However once they get older it does get holder and even more so if you have more than one! Two kids on holiday of different ages is a different ball game. That said still beats being on home.

That’s great you had that experience. And that’s probably the experience I would have going on holiday with our easygoing 6 month old baby. But we also have a 4 year old with SEN , and as much as we love him, it is challenging going on holiday with him and has been that way even when he was a baby. We still go on holidays because he does get a lot out of it, but bloody hell is it stressful

Hopefully it will be, 4 is a lovely age. I guess my point was to have a 4 year old you need to have been through the 1s, 2s and 3s and have gained a lot of experience and different personality changes. Then IMO you get to have an opinion on holidays with young kids but not before.

If repeatedly engineering work commitments so that you get a night off from your kids is not a sign that you don’t enjoy parenting them, then I don’t know what is!

I remember my mother being pretty miserable on family holidays and I totally get why - now... Due to available funds and my father being difficult these were pretty much always self-catering apartment holidays where my mother had the usual shopping, cooking and cleaning to do with the added disadvantage of limited amounts of towels and clothes due to luggage restrictions and yet lots of work to clean up all the sand and greasy suntan lotion we left everywhere, and no dishwasher like at home so having to wash up after the cooking. During all of this my father did his usual nothing. Absolutely fuck all to help. So yes, she had all the work of home but under more difficult circumstances and no TV to plonk us in front of occasionally while she was doing it. Why the fuck would she enjoy it?

Oh I see! Yes all the ages are different for holidaying!

yeah I had an opinion of how easy parenthood was at 18 months… my easy kid went WILD at 20 months! She‘s much more settled and calm now at 3.2…!

You are clearly a superior mother

She wanted an odd night of proper sleep and a chance to relax, perhaps her kids didn't sleep great and her husband didn't get up with them. She didn't sell them on EBay. I love my kids, I enjoy parents them, but I also enjoy a break. I love DH and love being married to him but I also enjoy a weekend away with friends without him. I love

I absolutely love being a mum. I even reduced my hours at work to spend more time with my son but I’d still jump at the chance of a quiet night away.

Doing bedtime (and nighttime if your child doesn't sleep though) 365 days a year has it's lovely moments but it's also relentless. Wanting a night off doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy parenting, but that's hard to fully understand until you’re in it.

Nope I certainly don't want 3-4 kids, everyone on Mumsnet makes it sound awful!

When I wasn't miserable with my baby posters just loved telling me wait till they're a toddler then you'll see! She's a toddler now and it's still not awful so 🤷

Posters on this forum just love a just you wait, it's comical considering how many other posters then come along and say well actually their kids have never been difficult at any of the ages being professed as guaranteed to be awful. And still it continues.

It has never been my experience either

Sun, cocktails, someone making my bed, bringing drinks to my sun lounger and serving me food in a resteraunt - yes I’d rather my toddler be tantruming in this environment than at home! But I guess it depends on the child, the parents and the type of holiday