To not understand the "holidays with small children is just parenting in a different place" complaints?

[LadyGreyjoy]

We have an 18 month old and have just got back from a week all inclusive in Spain. Obviously we did just parent out daughter in a different place, but I don't see that as a bad thing and certainly not a reason to say there was no point in going. I love being a mum, I waited a long time for my daughter due to infertility and I've been dreaming of family holidays for years. Whilst I still had to do the parenting (which I enjoy doing anyway) I didn't have to cook, wash up or clean, the food was lovely and far better than we cook at home, I did no laundry for a week and instead of working all day and only getting two hours in the evening with my daughter a day I got to play in the pool/on the beach with her all day every day for a week. After she was asleep instead of watching TV and being too tired to do anything we sat on the balcony listening to the music from the bar and drank cocktails and chatted, real quality time with my husband I am usually too tired to enjoy.

On here there are many threads making out a holiday with small children is shit and not worth the effort and that hasn't been my experience at all. The journey there and back was a bit rough and exactly what I expected it to be like tbh. Other than that it's been bliss and I would 10/10 recommend people go and do it. I was kind of dreading it after reading all the threads here but I wish I hadn't worried about it so much now.

Lol. That poster has been saying nasty things to me all afternoon.

Does sound nice

At 20 months old I took my twins to Canada plus 4 yo dd. Loved it. Snow on the ground meant pushchair was pointless so we used backpack carriers. Lovely memories. I think it’s the parents who expect to chill by the pool are the ones who end up disappointed.

When my two were young, holidays generally meant trying to produce three meals a day in a field and constant trips to the loos with them. Wasn't that much fun on the whole.

I’m with you ! I’ve traveled with my kids since they were born and I love taking them on holiday . I think most people who can’t enjoy is because they don’t choose holidays that cater for all the family or are not used to being with their kids long periods of time .

It is hard when you do not have access to washing facilities and end up having to buy new shoes because they have done a wee in them and suddenly decide not to use the potty when they know how to (very recent experience). It is hard when you are all in one room (no idea how people did it during Covid or current asylum seekers) and there is no place to go.

We have always taken holidays since DD was a few months old. We wanted to get her used to travelling from a young age so it wasn't a daunting experience when she was older. Our holidays have been a mix of AI and self catering and both ways have had their positives and negatives. I do appreciate that some children or if there is more than one child and they are close in age could be challenging though.

I've had good holidays and not so good holidays with my kids and your recent holiday sounds like one of my best. Next try a self-catering holiday in a caravan with no room to swing a cat and nowhere comfortable to sit on continental Europe during a heatwave with two grumpy pre-teens and let us know how you get on...

I have never expected to chill by the pool (my children have only done one ‘pool’ holiday). I enjoy holidays but they do require work. My youngest will have lots of fun but you need to put in a lot of input for this. He gets overwhelmed if too much is going on and needs downtime which needs to be factored in, especially with our older child who wants to do it all. This is not an unusual experience- many, many parents have children who although enjoy and get a lot out of holidays, need some additional parenting to manage that. I am surprised that many people don’t seem to appreciate this.

Three of my kids were compliant little puddings at 18 months.
DC3 at that age was a whirlwind. Constantly on the go, CONSTANTLY! I spent most of our days at home trying to prevent him from hurting himself.
Being away from home without the usual tools in my armoury and added hazards of swimming pools, the sea, balconies, slippery tiled floors, angry stray cats (in Crete), him being a redhead with a severe sun cream allergy.
If we did AI we’d be cramped in the rooms so not getting as much sleep unless you spend ££££££ for an AI villa which are stunning but full of lovely things for him to break and a pool he could drown in or go self catering which is also lovely but then there’s some chores and again an unsupervised pool plus there were two older children to please who wanted to go to water parks etc and baby DC4 to look after.
Our holidays until he was about 4 weren’t even same shit different place they were worse shit in a different place and the knowledge we’d have to fly home with him likely screaming all the way.

Have you read the thread with many of us giving reasons why some parents find holidays harder?

That's your experience with an 18 month old, but as a mother to a challenging 5 year old.. It gets harder and yes it doesn't really feel like a holiday anymore.
My child wants to play every 5 minutes of the day and is exhausting and won't leave us alone. The only peace we get is on holidays with relatives, as at least other people can take over and give us a bit of a break. Not to mention the tantrums over the tiniest things..yeah come back in a few years when you've had a few difficult phases as they are not always easy.

I might be in the minority here but I find them to be wonderful travel companions

It sounds blissful! But, I suppose, it’s each to their own! I always enjoyed time away with the kids rather than trying to entertain them at home.

I think I must have blocked out the totally awful times as I have nothing but nice memories of our family holidays. DH worked abroad a lot and our children were used to travelling from around 4 months old as we often went to see him every 6 weeks or so. My three were all easy babies and apart from the usual toddler breakdowns they were easy children. The only holiday I wasn’t keen on was a caravan one we went on, that was the first and the last, I’m not a camping person and experienced absolutely no joy from that one. Maybe I was so knackered I was just happy to hand them all over to DH for a week and look at those breaks through rose tinted glasses 🤣

I mean, yes, planning a holiday in Canada with 3 young children took planning… maybe I’m odd but I enjoyed that. Car hire company couldn’t be sure they’d have 3 car seats so we had to take 3. Trekking through Heathrow with a baby on my front and back, dd holding my hand and our hand luggage while dh grappled with 2 luggage trolleys due to suitcases and car seats was not exactly relaxing but we laughed. 11 hour flight? We planned. It was part of the fun for us. I guess some people would find that stressful.

X

This sounds like a lovely holiday

I love going on holiday with my kids but sometimes they have been in tricky stages when we have been on holiday and it has been hard work. One of my DCs at 18 months loved water and would happily head straight into any body of water - swimming pool / sea / lake and not be distracted from doing so. An all inclusive beach / pool holiday would have been an absolute bloody nightmare. The other would happily sit on the beach digging in the sand and would only enter the water reluctantly with all floatation devices known man. That makes a beach holiday a bit more relaxing!

Well, we’re all different aren’t we?

AI or a cruise holidays, I just wouldn’t enjoy, for example.

I had the same ideas and experiences till mine turned 3, enjoy it while you can

It was never my experience either, but I suspect there is a correlation between spending power and enjoyment and also expectations and enjoyment. We used to do a lot of more cultural type trips, like Rome, Valencia, Brugges. The kids were very portable, as long as we didn't overload the day and fine to wander round the Colosseum and places, parents were happy because we were still enjoying a cultural experience, kids enjoyed being somewhere different with both parents and as a SAHM it was easier having husband present 24/7 than being at home alone with 2 kids. We haven't done any package holidays but we have also done a few beach holiday like Greek islands when they are small, but always in a hotel, and found that to be fun for everyone too. I obviously was expecting to be watching the kids constantly rather than reading a juicy novel.

Or 3-4 children.Your post comes across as rather smug to me.

This! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I've never regretted taking my DCs on holiday, but thinking back to the two holidays when they were 18m, they weren't exactly restful...

DS1 had multiple food allergies. AI abroad was out of the question. SC was the only safe option. Unfortunately he was allergened due to mis-information a couple of days going away, so the holiday involved a lot of screaming from abdominal cramping, and extensive use of the washing machine to deal with the aftermath of umpteen neck to knee poonamis.
I was also pregnant, very queasy, had thrush and ended up having to visit a hospital because the pharmacy wouldn't treat it and told me to go to my GP... who was 350+ miles away on another island of the UK...
Memorable... but not for the ideal reasons.
Definitely same shit, different location in a very litteral way.

DS2 was newly walking at 18m and in headless chicken mode (with turbo). DS1 was 3. We had to have a clear 1:1 policy on supervising each child to make sure that DS2 in particular didn't bolt off head first into the nearest swimming pool (he already had form...) DS1 had grown out of most of the allergies so we did do a foreign AI. TBH there wasn't that much to do there with such young children. DS2 also still woke for night feeds.
DS1 has memories of the holiday, but it wasn't relaxing at all for parenting safely.

I didn't have an "ahhh" moment on a family holiday until they were 5/7 on a camping holiday and old enough not to be scruitinised constantly.

Other "memorable" holidays include the one where DS's asthma flared partway through and he couldn't get too hot, or transition into air conditioning... interesting when camping in a heatwave... The icing on the cake of that one was MiL dying, having to cut short to be able to get to her funeral. The 7hr journey home on a 33⁰C day was a delight when he began wheezing every time we had a toilet stop. So no, not a relaxing family break.

Now we're into the teenage years and it's slightly like the toddler years of trying to find mutually enjoyable things to do together, but at least we can leave them for a while and please ourselves more!

Finding family holidays logistically hard work isn't about a lack of love or planning. Some families just have more complex circumstances. We're not all in the same position with the same options.