Do you judge Facebook attention seekers?

[pittapat]

Just a discussion, not a rant. I know a couple of people who are genuinely lovely in real life but the biggest attention seekers on social media. Constant navel gazing and ‘inspirational’ posts about how much they’ve learned, how much they’ve improved themselves and in one case, very very long statuses about family and how proud they are of their kids blah blah blah.

I read it and eye roll because it really does seem to be purely for likes and validation. Why else post? In real life I get along with these people as friends, family and colleagues but their Facebook personas are irritating. I don’t post often and mainly use Facebook to find out about local events and news. I don’t engage but then feel bad when I see mutual friends gushing in the comments because it’s almost like not saying anything is a snub.

No, I don’t and I think you are mean.
Many people use social media as a way to reach out when they are sad, lonely or bored or even happy. Let them! I would prefer a human element than all the dull reels in my feed. You sound really unpleasant, OP.

I don’t like the vague messages implying something bad has happened, so they get people posting “You ok?” And they reply “I’ll PM you”.

Yes. I find the ones who use their children the worst. One in particular puts on check ins and details every time her DC is at the hospital. He is 14 and it has included details about him being suicidal and about him having bowel issues. I know her because our DC were friends, we're in a small town and she has lots of her DCs friends parents on there. Some parents may share that info with their DC, even if they didn't that is still very personal info she is sharing about someone else for attention.

I judge and I know that says a lot about me. Same as op I have a lovely friend in real life but on FB she is so nauseating I cringe.
She posted pictures of her dgd at a Halloween thing with some other kids and in every picture the kid was pulling faces and spoilt every single picture. She put oh love her she's so individual. 🤮 I didn't comment because she ruined it for the other kids. She's one that loves her kids and dgc to the moon and back at every opportunity. Well so do i and they know it so not necessary to tell the rest of the world.
I never comment on checking in at a & e whover does it. Attention seeking bollocks.

I came off FB/Insta/TikTok/Twitter two years ago. The way I saw it was I never needed social media growing up and I was perfectly happy. Everything about these apps annoyed me especially the checking in at A&E, the gushy posts about family and the relentless over sharing, it was all attention seeking. There’s so many people on these apps who attention seek, posting for likes and views. It’s just not for me. Some posters may say “oh but you come on MN”, yes I do but I dip in and out and I don’t spend hours on here. It’s easy to spot attention seeking posts and I scroll on. I remember looking at my screen time on apps one week and it was something like 23 hours, that was just scrolling and reading inane posts. I’m happy to do other things in these 23 wasted hours these days.

Yep.
And mumsnet is the worse.

I ended up unfriending someone on Facebook, as she became too much and was embarrassing and people tried to drop her hints to why so many were taking her off. She could end up writing up to 10 statuses a day, with trivial things like was off to Supermarket , doing the laundry, having a fag. When people got bored and didn’t comment, asking if FB was playing up as couldn’t see people’s replies 😳
She was often moaning about her partner being no help around the house, then when people tried to put anything supportive she got defensive!!

Not necessarily judge but I’m completely perplexed by an acquaintance’s posts on instagram. They are all along the lines of “leading a private life”, “not telling people about your successes”, “doing things for you, not the approval of others” etc. yet she posts at least 5 times a day about what she’s doing in the way of healthy habits, working hard, developing her business etc. Recently she posted complaining that her posts weren’t getting as much engagement as they used to. It’s like she can’t work out that the endless ironic posts and self-promotion might be putting people off. Which is really quite hard to believe because she’s clearly a VERY smart and successful businesswoman.

Completely baffling.

The people I know who do this are quite cool in the actual flesh - intelligent, cynical, funny, attractive, professionally outstanding…But oh my days they are a completely different personality on FB.

24/7 updates which look needy, cringey and lacking in self awareness - like they’re Kim Kardashian with millions of fans or something. I just can’t understand it. Why isn’t being great in RL good enough? They are very ordinary people but appear to be in some millennial time warp with uber-Americanised peppy positivity about mundane shit like going for a walk or having a coffee. In RL they’d say something normal and cynical, but on FB they bang on with some lame shit about dappled shade through trees being some deep metaphor for the universe telling them something or the foam on the coffee being an experience of self care that they deserve. 🙄

Jeez do they realise how insufferable it comes across? Especially for people who actually know how they really speak?

I do think all SM is a bit attention seeking. I only ever post funny stuff on FB, literally nothing else at all. I find photos more attention seeking, usually because of pouting/filtering. My fave posts are the funny, ranty ones!

It’s the ones who have an amazing Facebook life that irritate me , best night EVER ! Yet I know they are miserable unsociable people.
DH often says I want to go out with Facebook Sue rather than real Sue

Unpleasant for having a different perspective? Ok then.

Haven't been on social media for about 2 years. Got hacked and Meta decided I wasn't me so I lost access. I ultimately have a lot more time on my hands and as an added bonus don't have to "know" so much about everyone I ever met. Getting annoyed about seeing someone I met at a wedding 5 years ago's dinner is no longer an issue for me.

I silently think how insecure and unhappy they must be, to feel the need to plaster this stuff on FB.

And then I mute them.

I know someone like this. They make multiple posts a day. She posts a lot about her horses, her mental wellbeing and other personal things. It’s almost like she’s sharing an online journal of her daily life with friends and Facebook contacts. It all feels a bit much to be honest and sometimes I think she seems a bit wrapped up in herself.

I've got a couple on mine who have arguments through statuses.

Like she'll post a status saying "what's the point in cooking a meal for 6pm if some people can't be home to eat it"
Then he'll post "you'd think some people would check the family calendar and see I'm in a late meeting before cooking dinner"

and so on. I don't want to read it but I can't help watching the drama unfold.

In real life I get along with these people as friends, family and colleagues but their Facebook personas are irritating.

I've hidden quite a few from my feed 😆 Lovely people in real life, but online... Just, no.

I only signed up to be able to see local events, recommendations for trades people and occasional warnings about traffic problems, useful info around where I live.

I never put anything on there and I'm registered under my cat's name as I didn't want anyone in real life friending me.

I do see occasional posts from people I know but they seem to be the sensible posters rather than the "look at me" ones.

God that’s awful, posting pics of your ill child I mean wtf?!

I look back to my eighties childhood and I simply cannot imagine my lovely mum would have ever in a million years thought to have posted pictures of me whilst ill, had social media existed back then.

You just know all these ‘concerned’ parents are more interested in chasing the validation and ‘aw hun’ comments than they are their poor sick children too.

Yes. I know someone who posts that they’ve cleaned their glasses. Their kids potty training was described in detail. She’s unfollowed now.

I know the kind of thing you mean, but I genuinely don’t have anyone like tha5 on my Facebook. I have maybe about 100 people (family and friends) and just don’t have anyone like that, maybe it’s my age and that none of my contacts live for the drama!

It’s ironic when people post on here complaining about others posting on Facebook, when they themselves post about random daily life stuff on here in detail to gain attention.

Yanbu. Someone I know went through a breakup (not with her kids dad) and the things she was posting on facebook you’d think someone burnt her house down. Its ridiculous. I avoid the self pity posts like the plague.

Absolutely.

It's been 16 years since I coined the phrase 'Munchausens by Facebook' about a friend who's baby met every milestone first, wrote his first Christmas card aged 2, but was so so poorly with Chicken Pox 3 times! I bought nappies for her, dropped them off and she bellowed at her spot free son that she told him to stay in the front room.

It's a shame really.

I don't judge the sympathy seekers. I quietly block them.

How on earth is posting on here for attention? We are all anonymous. People post here for discussion.