Do you judge Facebook attention seekers?

[pittapat]

Just a discussion, not a rant. I know a couple of people who are genuinely lovely in real life but the biggest attention seekers on social media. Constant navel gazing and ‘inspirational’ posts about how much they’ve learned, how much they’ve improved themselves and in one case, very very long statuses about family and how proud they are of their kids blah blah blah.

I read it and eye roll because it really does seem to be purely for likes and validation. Why else post? In real life I get along with these people as friends, family and colleagues but their Facebook personas are irritating. I don’t post often and mainly use Facebook to find out about local events and news. I don’t engage but then feel bad when I see mutual friends gushing in the comments because it’s almost like not saying anything is a snub.

Only it’s not anonymous if you post photos and so much info about yourself that you’re identifiable.

I feel the same about certain IG posters, multiple stories a day, all about how unique and different they are, and how everything just seems to be so much more of a struggle for them.

This thread reminds me of that old rant about the 7 types of insufferable Facebook posts: https://waitbutwhy.com/2013/07/7-ways-to-be-insufferable-on-facebook.html

Yeah, there are a few culprits in my friends list who are fkg annoying, but - hands up - I think I'm also guilty of p'ssing people off as well.

There is an ex of mine who travels extensively for work and will always post very well framed, perfectly composed, ultra saturated photos of groups of people sitting in a restaurant or bar with him, all happily smiling at the camera, shots. Of course, he's always the one holding the camera (and such a person is always easily identifiable as the one who is 'look at me' desperate and insufferable on social media). His profile is rammed with photos documenting all of his meals out, the travelling he does with his partner (and now wife but - shock - there have been zero photos of their wedding which is very out of character and odd). I suspect, despite his penchant to dine out, he convinced his wife to have a small ceremony at a registry office. Nothing wrong with that; it's just very surprising given the image he has curated of himself on his profile. I once reconnected with my ex back in 2010 and we went on a trip together. During that roadtrip I got taste of what he's like when it comes to his incessant need to take photos of everything. The level of control was insane. He basically sets up the shots and will tell strangers where to stand, how to hold the camera and how to frame it, etc. Then there's all the editing It takes ages. It really is something else. Now, 15-16 years on, this is still his MO. He was bullied badly as a child and I think this is his constant "F.U" to the individual/s who bullied him. I guess people who seem annoying online have their own demons.

Another relative comes to mind: a middle-aged woman who has never paid for any child care and pressures her local in-laws to take care of the 3 kids. Said woman has never paid in-laws and, of course, this means lots of money to go on no-end of holidays and there are also lots of posts documenting all the concerts she frequents. Judging by the handful of likes she receives on her posts, she is not liked much, which is the case within the family.

As for myself, I post holiday photos. I strictly keep to five photos or fewer, but I suspect people know that money is being spent and that can rub people the wrong way. I don't post photos of my DC standing by the front door for their First Day at School. I don't bother with World Book day or the Christmas Elf. All of that is so ugh. I also don't talk to or congratulate my DH via social media when I can just turn to him offline and say it. No check-ins during any health-related visits and no moaning, vague attention seeking posts or humble bragging. I do, however, post the occasional photo of my DH and DC.

Which is hardly the norm is it.

Posting on mumsnet is not the same.
At this point I find all facebook posts attention seeking. To me it’s just not normal to share what’s going on in your life this way good or bad, it’s just become the new norm. I don’t post anymore and really want to delete facebook but finding the addiction hard to give up.

I genuinely think that there are only two types of people who use Facebook now. There are the show-offs and braggers who want everyone to know how great their relationship/life/holiday is, and the professional moaners and complainers who have to complain about literally any and every minor inconvenience, usually in their local Facebook group. Bad parking, someone's dog barking, fireworks etc.

I think if there was another global IT outage that managed to take down Facebook (and most other social media tbh) for quite a while, it'd be the best thing to happen for years.

I’m dreadful at updating my business page and posting pictures/videos that draw customers in, BECAUSE of my aversion to attention seeking 😳

Yes. In particular I never respond to those attention seeking posts where someone gives a nugget of information hinting at some drama or other so as to encourage other to beg for more details.
It’s pathetic.
Either say something or don’t.

I have a few friends who are the biggest attention seekers on Facebook, the constant selfies, (the ones that get me is when they’re cuddling a pet, each pretending to be asleep and there’s 45 photos a day of it)
Constant photos of their dinner, their kids every single place they go or every night, asleep in bed. (Weird!!!) Lovely people in real life though.

I'd find that extremely entertaining and would enjoy telling my partner about it while we walked the dog.

I can't really understand why people get irritated by things like this. Just enjoy it!

But they’re on this thread complaining about people doing on Facebook, what they do on here. Who knows how common that is.

That was an awesome read - thanks!

So agree OP. I have FB just for some groups in active on, so unfortunately do get to see posts like this.

There is one person in particular who had really crossed the line now though. Not only are they always posting about all their health issues, which in all honesy are really not serious, but she posts the most personal things about her children. The worst part is, is that they are late teen and early adult age. When I the basically a blog of her children how great they are, how lucky she is and all this drivel but to then go on and post the most private things (one was regarding a mh diagnosis of her DC). I am convinced that she had a version of munchausen by social media. She posts the same thing on every platform. So if she were to tell you something, it would be the 6th or 7th time you would know about it.

I thought about saying something, about how wrong it is, but I have decided to just ignore it as if I do I am including myself in her drama series.

I am the opposite and don't post anything. I like my privacy and so maybe I just don't get the reasons why people do it.

No.

This is what social media is and what it's for.

If you dont like it don't use it.

I think every single person using it is seeking validation in some way.

Nobody HAS to be on it. And if you're not on it you don't see it. So if you get upset in any way by it, just delete it. If you don't want to, examine that in yourself, while continuing to rubberneck and judge others.

I unfollow the annoying ones. I’ve got one lovely friend who fell out with her DM, and she posts constant memes about narcissistic families (several a day) which do my head in. We all know what she thinks of her, don’t need reminding thrice daily.

I honestly think reading something, being part of something, for the sole purpose of judging others is far more reprehensible than being the person that bares their soul.

But you guys do you.

I think it's mean, you think they're losers. They hope you're listening. You want gossip. Why are you on Mumsnet if it's not to share your thoughts and feelings and forge connections?

I don't do social media apart from MN and tiktok. I don't post anything on there.

I don't see a difference between flogging your kids on there and saying #blessed, or posting yourself with a drip in your arm in hospital. It's all attention seeking.

I can't see how you can put one attention seeking behaviour against another tbh