Husband going through bin for cat food

[mrsgumpy]

So I need some perspective on this. And yes I know it is ridiculous to be arguing about cat food.

My husband hates waste. He thinks I don't get all the cat food out of the sachet when I feed the cat. I try to squeeze all the cat food out but I find it disgusting so I am not going to use a teaspoon and scrap every last bit out of the sachet. I prefer to get as much as I can out by squeezing the sachet and then chucking it in the bin. However, every time I feed the cat, DH goes into the rubbish bin, finds the sachet and then scraps the rest of the cat food out. It drove me a bit crazy for a while and then I just decided to let him go for it. This morning it started to irritated me all over again to see DH rummaging in the bin and then trying to scrap out tiny morsels of cat food from the sachet.

I am the first up in the morning, which is why I feed the cat otherwise I would just leave him to it. Whenever he feeds the cat it is such a palaver that the poor cat is almost beside himself with waiting for something to eat. DH also likes to ration the cat's food to avoid waste so he eeks out the cat food in small portions over the course of the day, which means we have a constantly meowing cat around the house. Drives me crazy.

Ok, so what do you think? Am I being unreasonable? Should I just let DH rummage through the bin for cat food and not care about it?

The pouches are very uneconomical. You'd save money with tins, even more with a bulk buy subscription, which may make him happier. I wouldn't be irritated by him avoiding waste, but I wouldn't let him feed the cat less than it needed.

There is such a simple and easy way to rectify this, I'm surprised no one has offered it as a solution.

If you are up first thing in the morning feed the cat a whole sachet. You then hide the empty sachet by wrapping it up and putting it in your handbag.

You then refeed the cat again but only give it half a portion, your husband can then eek out the rest of the sachet throughout the course of the day and he can ensure the sachet is fully emptied before binning it.

You then disposed of the original empty sachet at your leisure when you leave the house in a public bin.

This way everyone is happy, the cat is well fed, you don't have to watch your miserly husband rooting through the bin and your husband still gets the pleasure of thinking he is ensuring no waste is allowed to happen.

I was never allowed a cat by by husband, and once spent the early hours of the morning during a terrible storm outside in a gale trying to pack cardboard boxes with newspaper and bedding for a little stray that was crying outside our window.
He allowed her into the kitchen the next day under sufferance as I was waiting for a local cat rescue to come and take her -then ranted on and on about it for days.
When I eventually left him, I adopted a little 3.4kg cat -she has 2 x 85 tins purina gourmet or pouches a day split into 3 meals, with purina biscuits at night with dreamies and dental treats at other times.
She is notoriously fussy and I rotate the flavours and textures but stopped jelly sachets as she would leave the meat -gravy is much better for her hydration (she also likes to drink tuna juice in spring water occasionally!)
The point is, I adapt her feeding to what she seems to like.I'm happy to squeeze out a pouch, and once used a teaspoon, only to throw it away! There is waste, but so what? She's 11, we love her and she brings so much happiness to us.
I still think about the little cat left out in the elements, and what kind of man would act like that.
As others have said, the cat is not the issue here, your husband is.
Feed your cat, don't be sucked into your husband's madness, and put a hidden camera in the kitchen.
I would be really interested to see how he treats the cat when you are not there, physically and verbally.
Do you have children, OP?

Maybe because that is no way for anyone to live.

Just give the empty packet to the cat, poor thing is so starving he’d probably get every last lick out of it. He’s an animal abuser.

And you don't have the autonomy to decide that a cat is hungry.This would be the deal breaker for me and I couldn't live in those circumstances.

'So not only did we now have lots of tiny pieces of soap to use, but they had already been used by his grandmother' 😂😂

Sorry OP but that is fucking hilarious and fucking awful equally. I'd have slung them straight in the bin and my fanny would have sewn itself shut at that. Please tell me you didn't use them!

What an awful mealy mouthed fucker.

He’s abusing your cat by starvation and you are allowing it, sorry OP but that’s the truth.
he’s an abuser

Bastard probably counts the sachets and OP would be in big trouble if she tries to secretly feed her hungry cat.

@mrsgumpy can you see how abusive and fucked up this is?

I don't know whether he is starving the cat or not.

I do know that generally people get more "polarised" as they get older, so these undesirable behavioural traits are likely to get more extreme.

If you're happy to live the rest of your life like that then fine.

@GasPanic even a tiny sized cat needs more than 85g of food a day. My cat is large but he has five x 85g sachets plus kibbbles and chicken snacks. He’s a healthy weight for his build. I feel so sad for this cat

Your husband is weird - and he strikes me as insanely tight fisted!

Reminds me of a guy who I dated briefly who would finish other people’s drinks in the pub to save money.

And I don’t people he knew. If randoms left the pub but had not finished their beer he would saunter over and get the glass and finish it himself.

I was just about to say this. Jelly ones are the way to go.

Yuck! All those germs from other peoples' drinks - revolting. He must have a very strong stomach and zero shame.

ZERO shame. His tight-fistedness overruled shame.

I was so ashamed I dumped him.

Starving the poor cat!!! Leave the bastard!! Start rationing his food out and see how he likes it!! He’s cruel as well as mean!!

I have 4 cats and I use a knife to get there food out of the sachets because I can’t bear to get it on my hands 😂 it does all come out though . They have their own knife too. 😂

Very insightful! I gather from this answer that you have experience with this type of person and how our female empathy can become toxic towards ourselves...

As well-meaning as this post is, this whole scenario sketched out has made me realised how insane my situation is. That reads like an abused wife hiding make up or her secret cellphone from her husband.

Yet another weird male behaviour apologist 🙄 You wouldnt ever catch me going through bins for a teaspoon of cat leftovers.

Try that with my two and they'd have me up before the RSPCA, so much do they loathe that jelly. The fussy little minxes. Now they are very old, like meself, and they want maximum slop, interspersed with expensive tiny kibble (tiny owing to scarcity of teef)

Hold the pouch at the bottom and just flick it side to side, it gets the food out of the creases at the bottom.
I would then wash it out straight away

In the meantime throttle the other half

Good! I was being sarcastic.

I think I read you have a tuxedo cat I do too.

They are such handsome creatures and he gets so many compliments when he goes to the vets.

My one is very elderly and is on numerous medications a day. He lost a lot of weight and had to be put on thyroid medicine to make him eat more.

Sometimes I feed him and he turns his nose up and he gets another sachet of a different brand until he eats it! Sometimes he eats two sachets in a go and I am delighted!!

Or maybe reverse those actions in to the correct order 🤣Seriously tho OP. He won't change. It really depends if you can bear to live like this. My ex would cut a current in half. I divorced him. Skint but happy.

See my cat is 7.5kg but he gets 2 x 85g tins and that’s it, no biscuits
he maintains on that and I really need to cut him down to 1.5 tins but it’s hard