Husband going through bin for cat food

[mrsgumpy]

So I need some perspective on this. And yes I know it is ridiculous to be arguing about cat food.

My husband hates waste. He thinks I don't get all the cat food out of the sachet when I feed the cat. I try to squeeze all the cat food out but I find it disgusting so I am not going to use a teaspoon and scrap every last bit out of the sachet. I prefer to get as much as I can out by squeezing the sachet and then chucking it in the bin. However, every time I feed the cat, DH goes into the rubbish bin, finds the sachet and then scraps the rest of the cat food out. It drove me a bit crazy for a while and then I just decided to let him go for it. This morning it started to irritated me all over again to see DH rummaging in the bin and then trying to scrap out tiny morsels of cat food from the sachet.

I am the first up in the morning, which is why I feed the cat otherwise I would just leave him to it. Whenever he feeds the cat it is such a palaver that the poor cat is almost beside himself with waiting for something to eat. DH also likes to ration the cat's food to avoid waste so he eeks out the cat food in small portions over the course of the day, which means we have a constantly meowing cat around the house. Drives me crazy.

Ok, so what do you think? Am I being unreasonable? Should I just let DH rummage through the bin for cat food and not care about it?

As a cat owner I agree. 1 in the morning, 1 in the evening and biscuits ad lib.

Have you got kids yet? If not then don’t. Imagine when your kids are hungry and he’s decided they don’t need to eat..

I'd just be telling him to fuck off and feeding the cat 2 pouches in the morning.

Sounds perfect. Sensible to do similar with kids. They don't always eat their meal so it makes sense to keep haribo on hand for when they start whining later.

My grandma was a young woman during the war and experienced rationing. When clearing her house out we found a tin of all the little ends of soap bars. We laughed and threw it in the bin.

The way I see it you have three options. You can live like this forever (please don’t do that), you can leave him, or you can put your foot down about all this nonsense. That means you feed the cat, you bin the soap, you buy your own nice birthday present, and you tell him very firmly that his behaviour is unacceptable. You can offer to support him trying to get better and encourage him to go to therapy if he’s willing. But ultimately you cannot change him, only he can change him, you can change how you deal with him.

You should rinse the pouch, put the food that washes out into the cats’ bowl, and save the empty, clean pouch in a bag to take to the soft plastics recycling bin outside in in the foyer of practically every supermarket.

All unwashed food containers make a bin smell repulsive, it’s revolting to not rinse them and yes, it actually is wasteful too.

Keep the cat, ditch your husband!

I couldn't live like that!

The soap story is gross. Old lady used soap ewww

Sorry if someone answered with this already within the thread. We have a device called Sachet Mate from Lakeland Plastics, which is basically a handle with two long metal prongs. You open the pouch, and run it between the prongs from the closed end, and the food plops out into the bowl. It even works on gravy pouches, which are a bugger to empty.

I just looked and the brand is discontinued, however, Etsy has a lot of similar, but plastic versions, that appear to operate the same way. You're never going to get every single morsel out, but psychologically your DH might think this is less wasteful.

So he's trained your cat to meow all day? Fantastic

From what I understand and have read in the past, I think it is to do with instinct why cats don't drink water that is near food - in the wild they don't drink water near a prey as it may be contaminated.

@CaroleKing soft plastic recycling, not foil.

Get a long handled spoon that you only use for the cat food. Job done, no more rooting in the bins.

Do you have children together OP? What on earth is making you stay?

I do not say this lightly - this man in mentally unwell

please stop underfeeding your cat - and stand up against him.

I don't know how you can live like this.

The weird thing is that his odd behaviour with the cat food isn't actually saving you any money. It's giving the cat maybe 2 mg of "extra" food, but that doesn't mean you need to buy less.

Him underfeeding the cat means you buy less, of course, but that's just cruelty.

Can I just add; you can rinse the food pouches and recycle them. Tesco accept them - at ours in a big bin outside the main door.

Let him use his grandmother's manky pieces of soap but buy your own. Tell him that it is only for you and he can luxuriate with grandma's soap.

Same with the cat food, buy something which he can't tamper with. Whilst he uses the pouches, you can use a different type which he can't obsess about.

But really, his behaviour sounds incredibly draining, undermining and joyless. Life is too short to be lectured about getting the last drop of food out of the cat food pouch.

He sounds mean as fuck. There's being careful and then there's this.
My dh does it with shower gel, sauce and washing up liquid.
Stands them somewhere upside down until I chuck it in the bin usually with a few swear words thrown in. He's not tight just doesn't like waste. But even he wouldn't go through the bin.

Can you feed the cat then leave the sachet out so he can have another go at it? Your husband sounds like hard work op. I hope you have separate bank accounts and that he has some redeeming features.

The tightest man I ever worked with couldn't see the point of decent coffee, used the cheapest tea bags and was a stranger to any act of charity but he'd spend £600 on a bike he rode once a fortnight_ I really hope your DH isn't like him Op

Sorry clicked yabu by mistake. I'd suggest that if eating out of the bin is good enough for the cat, then it is good enough for him.

It's not about cat food (...)

OP, why don't you post on the relationships board? This isn't a cat food issue at all.

You must be really miserable, and like all women in your position, at some point you will find that consoling yourself with feeling how understanding and sympathetic you are to your partner's awful upbringing/mental health/difficulties/whatever will not be enough for you. That daily demonstrating how careful you are with money and not wasting stuff etc etc, and that surely he can trust you and relax a bit blah blah, will NEVER make a difference and will NEVER be enough.

Post on relationships and get some help in considering the next steps in the rest of your life.

I could not live like this 💐