To be hurt and angry that DD told her prof her mum is a TERF and he sympathised

[Dahliadaily]

My DD is at a Russell group uni studying a masters following a 1st in humanities. I’m really proud of her obviously.
We were always really close. She cried for me throughout freshers’ week, relied on my tough love.

We differ respectfully on the trans issue. I am a feminist and a biology grad and believe in the reality of sex and the importance of single sex spaces, the rule of law.

We negotiate this ok and do keep talking. I’m sure that more unites us than separates us. We agree on prostitution for example. But not on the medicalisation of gender.

She is a lesbian. Has lots of gay non binary and trans friends. Her flatmate is a trans man. I’d never make a personal remark about any of them.

My other DD told me that uni DD has got close to a prof (male and gay - nothing sleazy) and told him I was a TERF. He responded “that must be really difficult for you”.

She’s an intelligent young woman, capable of forming her own views. But I can’t help being hurt by her comment and angry with the prof for siding with this idea that I’m difficult or even evil / unkind. It feels a bit like grooming.

What are these challenges exactly, and why are they any harder than the challenges faced by anyone else?

Why is being a man who doesn’t like his body any more challenging than being a woman who doesn’t? Or being poor? Or disabled? Or subject to racism, sexism, ageism, homophobia, or having all sorts of other physical or mental illnesses? Or adverse life circumstances? Why aren’t we saying other groups have it much harder than anyone else?

What is it that is so much more challenging about being a trans woman than any other mildly adverse situation in life? It’s a genuine question.

Can you not see that the vast majority of trans women are bravely dealing with challenges (such as your attitudes) that make their lives so much harder than the non-trans population.

Oh, this is such rubbish.

Over three-quarters of victims of sexual crimes are women & girls. 98% of perpetrators are men. Men who have a trans-identified belief commit sexual crimes at the same rate.

An average of two women a week are murdered by domestic partners/ex-partners simply because they are women.

And this is just in the UK. Should we look at Afghanistan, where women are not allowed to speak in public, and are banned from education?

It does look like quite a sex-based stereotypical way of behaving, doesn't it?

Do you have statistics on sexual crimes committed by trans women?

Well when they have finished transition ; no penis I don't mind them in changing rooms.

Why would they be less likely to commit sexual crimes than other men exactly? Do you perhaps have any evidence of that? Because the very limited evidence which exists suggests that they are in fact more represented among sex criminals than other men.

a) John Wayne Bobbit was still a bloke even after his wife cut his penis off

b) less than 5% of male trans identifiers have genital surgery.

Monroe Bergdof, despite all the facial and boob surgery still has his meat and two veg

We know that more than half of the trans identified males in UK prisons are sex offenders
https://committees.parliament.uk/writtenevidence/18973/pdf/

There are some limited statistics out there, and they suggest that trans women may actually be more likely to commit sex offences than men in general. Someone on here must have the graphic to hand!

Statistics are unlikely to be accurate seeing as they get recorded as women. Or used to.

She should be proud of it. Hopefully she will also be a TERF when she sees the light.

I'd imagine she either genuinely believes they can (that sex is driven by hormones and take enough estrogen and you're a woman) or that she believes deep down they can't, but doesn't understand why anyone has to be so nasty as to point it out, when they're a vulnerable minority living their lives yada bla...
Either position means she will struggle to understand why the mum she agrees with in all other respects either 'doesn't get it' or is being 'unkind'.
I have a friend who feels this way. There's no shifting either of us. We care for each other so we avoid the subject. It is hard though.

No, I am not.

A) Explain to us exactly how we find out if these males have no penis, before they enter?
B) They are still male with male height, male strength, and they will be traumatic to women and girls and any rape survivor/DV survivor who clocks them.
C) removing their cock does not mean they are not voyeurs.
D) This goes for change rooms (and toilets where women are also vulnerable and attending to bodily functions)...

radical feminism has been around for decades….its not a new thing at all

I simply don't believe that women having single sex spaces is a 'radical' concept.

That’s not what radical means in this context. It also doesn’t mean what you suggested it does in your earlier post. It was originally a technical term deriving from the Marxist social theory of the 1930s-1960s, from “root” (radix) meaning “reform from the root”/“root and branch”. It’s been around for decades: it wasn’t “invented by misogynists”, and neither was it “created to make women feel bad about their boundaries”.

It just describes a particular type of class analysis of sex and gender, plus a desire for reform “from the root”. It isn’t even about single sex spaces.

What thecatfromneptune said

Radical feminism took it from Marxism, but it was even a term already in use to describe political opinions in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries and well before that, long before Marxist analysis was even invented!

Go back and read the various posts which explain the meaning and use of the word “radical “ in this context. It’s not what you think it is.

Well you and the major of NM posters seem to have a bit of an attitude when it comes to the trans population. I am assuming that you don’t all club together to rant about PoC / women/ the elderly / gay / lesbian / disabled people, or do you? This site epitomises the challenges faced by trans people. Thank you for the practical demonstration x

Did you actually read my post? Clearly not.

Can you answer my question? Why is a man who puts on a dress and makeup (but is always completely at liberty to take it off and live as a man again, any time he chooses) facing any greater struggle than anyone else?

If we are looking at the stats, the vast majority of crimes against women are committed by someone known to them. Statistically you are safer amongst strangers.

I can't give you statistics, but I'm aware of three trans identified men who lived within a 10 mile radius of my home and who were all found guilty of crimes with a sexual element: Paris Green (torture and murder of a man); Katie Dolatowski (voyeurism and sexual assault of a 10 yr old); Tiffany Scott (assault of a nurse and - from prison - stalking an adolescent girl).

Given the tiny percentage of trans people in the general population, that's quite startling.

Okay.. let’s go through it slowly..
you know how once upon a time, being gay would have led to prejudiced MNers being a bit ranty? You know, because gay guys are “always completely at liberty to” just hook up with some chick “any time he chooses”.. would you agree that it was a bit tougher to be gay than to not be gay amongst prejudiced people? Or was everyone just making a fuss?
I can’t believe that anyone can seriously question the difficulties trans people face.. or are you just being a bit silly?