To be hurt and angry that DD told her prof her mum is a TERF and he sympathised

[Dahliadaily]

My DD is at a Russell group uni studying a masters following a 1st in humanities. I’m really proud of her obviously.
We were always really close. She cried for me throughout freshers’ week, relied on my tough love.

We differ respectfully on the trans issue. I am a feminist and a biology grad and believe in the reality of sex and the importance of single sex spaces, the rule of law.

We negotiate this ok and do keep talking. I’m sure that more unites us than separates us. We agree on prostitution for example. But not on the medicalisation of gender.

She is a lesbian. Has lots of gay non binary and trans friends. Her flatmate is a trans man. I’d never make a personal remark about any of them.

My other DD told me that uni DD has got close to a prof (male and gay - nothing sleazy) and told him I was a TERF. He responded “that must be really difficult for you”.

She’s an intelligent young woman, capable of forming her own views. But I can’t help being hurt by her comment and angry with the prof for siding with this idea that I’m difficult or even evil / unkind. It feels a bit like grooming.

A male with penis and testicles is not any kind of a woman. And has no right being where women and girls are vulnerable and in a state of partial or full undress.

This should not need to be explained to a compassionate and decent human being.

They are sacred to women and girls who flee to these spaces to escape men. They are safe havens.

Women don't need this explained. We know it instinctively.

Is it Christophobia if atheists say Christians are confused?

Genuine question.

I also don’t have a clue what a TERF is.

It's 'nasty' to say the fact that males are the ruling and oppressor sex?

That is an actual fact. A fact that even women in Talibanic Afghanistan know.

What is 'nasty' is to say RAPE SURVIVORS have no right to protected sex-based rights and spaces. That, THAT, is truly nasty. And hateful and misogynistic. And shitting on the gravestones of our foremother feminists who fought SO HARD for our sex-based rights. Because you want to be on your knees to appease men. And stuff rape women and girls and rape survivors like me. How can anyone sleep at night advocating that. Knowing you are on the wrong side and advocating for the hurt of women and girls. Do you genuinely think you will win the approval of men by doing that?

Do you believe men have periods and get pregnant? If not, you are a TERF. 😂

What is condescending and misogynistic is saying rape survivors have no right to privacy and dignity. All to appease men. How would one sleep at night, doing that?

I've advocated nothing. It's all in your head.

You mean to describe males with penis and testicles not having the right to be described as women, the actual oppressed sex class?

That's what you mean.... right?

Because we are not 'trans' exclusionary. We are MALE exclusionary. And no stable human being would suggest that a male, a male with penis and testicles and male socialisation with zero lived experience as the oppressed sex, should have the right to culturally appropriate the female sex's lived experience.

Show me the post where I said that.

@CanadianHobbit It stands for 'Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist'.

It's a misnomer coined by misogynist bigots who want to reframe males a the victim. We are not anti 'trans' (if anything we are MERF - Male Exclusionary...). We are anti males in female spaces. It's a way to make the male sex class look like victims while painting feminists as demons.

It's difficult to know what you consider.misogynistic, as you haven't explained @Differentforgirls. Just called names. You still haven't answered if you think my 80- year-old mum's desire for same sex care is misogynistic and right wing.

Yet you attack feminists like me defending female only spaces. Saying it's 'all in your head' is a male gaslighting tactic.

Show me where I have been "nasty" to males?

You were nasty to me. Last reply to you as you're far too angry and confrontational with other women.

No, I was not. I said nothing at all nasty to you. I have not been nasty to anyone. You are gaslighting and posting in bad faith. You make it easy for us as you've shown you are not posting in good faith and refuse to answer questions, converse or engage in good faith. I am more than happy for the gentle readers to read my replies and they will make up their mind.

It's a name used to attack, malign, shame and silence women who defend their rights as women

But the professor didn't say anything about the OP being evil, a harridan or a hag. He just said it must be difficult. He didn't even say the OP was wrong.

It's not an example of anything other than one person acknowledging another person might find a situation difficult.

I can't believe how much this is being blown up out of all proportion. Anyone would think the professor had told the OP's daughter to go no contact immediately.

He simply acknowledged a difficulty that might exist for the person standing in front of him, pertaining to a specific point. He didn't call all women who share OP's beliefs the devil incarnate, or draw a pentagram round the DD to ward off evil spirits.

.

Oops, sorry, you were indeed.

“TERF” is a nasty misogynistic slur. The “evil” is implied, unless it’s being used by the people it’s aimed at.

Your poor daughter. I can only hope that university gives her the opportunity to get distance and a more positive home. In 10 years don't come crying to us saying "my daughter doesn't speak to me and I have no idea why"

Wow. That is such a sad response. Feminism is evil, right?

I don't understand this post, what makes you think her home isnt positive?

But it is my point. You seemed to think that being a radical feminist is all about lesbian separatism and establishing a “separate”matriarchy. It isn’t: it’s about a specific type of analysis of social structures, which looks at the root causes of patriarchal dominance over women, in which male violence is used to control women’s bodies and reproduction, and then “naturalised” by the social performance of gender roles and societal structures and institutions to keep that power in place.

It comes out of Marxist thought because it’s fundamentally a type of class critique; but radical feminism is interested in sex and the body, rather than purely in economic labour. Gender roles are not innocent or harmless things: they are ways of maintaining the power of men as a class over women as a class. This is the fundamental point of radical feminism, not lesbian separatism or anything else you suggested in your post.