To be hurt and angry that DD told her prof her mum is a TERF and he sympathised

[Dahliadaily]

My DD is at a Russell group uni studying a masters following a 1st in humanities. I’m really proud of her obviously.
We were always really close. She cried for me throughout freshers’ week, relied on my tough love.

We differ respectfully on the trans issue. I am a feminist and a biology grad and believe in the reality of sex and the importance of single sex spaces, the rule of law.

We negotiate this ok and do keep talking. I’m sure that more unites us than separates us. We agree on prostitution for example. But not on the medicalisation of gender.

She is a lesbian. Has lots of gay non binary and trans friends. Her flatmate is a trans man. I’d never make a personal remark about any of them.

My other DD told me that uni DD has got close to a prof (male and gay - nothing sleazy) and told him I was a TERF. He responded “that must be really difficult for you”.

She’s an intelligent young woman, capable of forming her own views. But I can’t help being hurt by her comment and angry with the prof for siding with this idea that I’m difficult or even evil / unkind. It feels a bit like grooming.

Nasty though…

What's nasty about that?

I don't agree that a rape survivor, who say, went to the Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre and was forced to share her trauma with Mridul Wadhwa- or face being called a bigot- is the nasty one here.

Sad times.

Worth a watch because it wasn't really about women's experiences with the menopause. I think the patriarchally tinged mainstream media saw that there was a tv drama about women in their 50s, written by a woman in her 60s and deduced that there's nothing else to trouble older women but their biological functions.

Good point

You don’t have to be a radical feminist to question gender ideology, even Judith Butler never saw it as gospel, she was just throwing ideas around. So no, she’s not a terf.

Really? Do you know what a HENRY is? Or FIRE? Different things concern different people. Being a feminist and a biology graduate may give you particular knowledge.

Condescending and misogynistic. Like most TERFS.

What condescending and misogynistic about it?

All words are made up. Literally every single word ever. That’s how words work.
Cis isn’t a new word, it’s just new when refering to people, but it’s an existing concept in science for the opposite of trans to be cis.
TERF isn’t a word at all, it’s an acronym meaning trans exclusionary radical feminism, and it was coined as a way to describe those who don’t support transgender women’s right to be treated as women.

Most of the biological terms I learnt during my degree and PhD aren't that useful in everyday conversations.

Why? He doesn't know you, so why should he comment on how you might react?

Do you think you're telling me something new?
Ciswomen is made a up term with an agenda, and it's meaningless because there is no other type of woman. Use of a term in other scientific contexts doesn't make it universally meaningful when stuck in front of other random words.
I didn't say TERF was a word. Men don't have a right to be treated as women, no matter how loud they shout or what caricatures they adopt.

Eh?

Why would a man have the right to be treated as a woman though?

How do you "treat someone as a women" when they are male? Using chosen names is just manners (although not if that erases who they were to you, like your husband and the father of your children).

But you can't pretend someone who identifies as a transwoman is actually female because that is not only a lie but also destroys single sex spaces, fair athletic competition and women and girls' rights to places away from men in a single stroke.

Trans people, like all people, deserve to live with dignity and respect free from discrimination. What they can't do is demand society distort reality and dismantle women's rights to accommodate their preference.

It’s not “an existing concept in science” that men can be a type of woman. They aren’t, it’s just ideology.

Also most people “don’t support transgender women’s right to be treated as women”, in many circumstances. Why is that? Well, I guess it’s because it isn’t a “right” and they don’t think they are women.

I think you've misread.
I said cis is an existing term in science, not that ciswoman is an existing term.
Cis essentially means 'on the same side as', and has meaning in chemistry and biology (unrelated to maleness or femaleness).
Ciswoman is made up, to promote an agenda.

That’s not how linguistics works at all.

I share your GC views.
However I wouldn't be upset by the man's comment. "That must be difficult for you" is a generic reflective response to someone telling you something it appears they have difficulty with. Its actually used as a way of avoiding expressing ones own opinion on the subject, keeping discussion focused on the other person's feelings.
I'm sure your DD does have 'difficulty' with your views if she is firmly on the other side. I think she has every right to discuss her 'difficulty' with a person in her circle, just as you may discuss your worries about her being influenced by GI with yours.
I think he responded in a text book pastoral way to acknowledge expressed feelings, as he would have been taught to do.
That in no way means your DD won't be subject to influences that confirm her beliefs at uni. Just that I don't think this is necessarily an example of that.

Yeah it's been bludgeoned into service by the TRAs for this purpose, it makes no sense in this context.

I was quoting someone else who said that.

Tbh, I think that so much of the discourse around transgender identities seems to be so desperate to paint transgender activism as left wing, and gender critical points as being something right wing, is part of the reason that people like Trump got in. So many left wing groups have been so awful on this issue, that its been a GIFT to the other side. A lot of people wont vote for a party that seems like it doesnt even have a foot in reality.

It leaves so many left wing women with noone to vote for