To be hurt and angry that DD told her prof her mum is a TERF and he sympathised

[Dahliadaily]

My DD is at a Russell group uni studying a masters following a 1st in humanities. I’m really proud of her obviously.
We were always really close. She cried for me throughout freshers’ week, relied on my tough love.

We differ respectfully on the trans issue. I am a feminist and a biology grad and believe in the reality of sex and the importance of single sex spaces, the rule of law.

We negotiate this ok and do keep talking. I’m sure that more unites us than separates us. We agree on prostitution for example. But not on the medicalisation of gender.

She is a lesbian. Has lots of gay non binary and trans friends. Her flatmate is a trans man. I’d never make a personal remark about any of them.

My other DD told me that uni DD has got close to a prof (male and gay - nothing sleazy) and told him I was a TERF. He responded “that must be really difficult for you”.

She’s an intelligent young woman, capable of forming her own views. But I can’t help being hurt by her comment and angry with the prof for siding with this idea that I’m difficult or even evil / unkind. It feels a bit like grooming.

😘

You'll be fine. Once my SGC left uni, she stopped with the 'transphobic' nonsense.

I recall that her mum was quite hurt - she was someone who had had to make her way in a male dominated profession. The daughter really had no idea about her mother's struggles.

TBH, the SGD had lived in quite a privileged bubble until there was a family tragedy. She and her mother continue to be very close.

The mind boggles at gender studies without knowing what a woman is, but just shows how captured academia is.

You're fantasising about a conversation which didn't happen in order to upset yourself. Unclear why.

Noone told your daughter to "cut you out". Which itself works be different to "grooming". Noone is "grooming" her either. Someone expressed a really asinine view which you heard second hand and now you're spiralling and making up scenarios where you're the victim. Why? Sympathy from strangers? Stirring up shit like your other daughter?

I think that's the whole point of gender studies these days

Take it up with OP and her other daughter who both adopt/endorse the term for themselves

I’m very much in two minds about it. Sometimes I like to think it’s been reclaimed. But you’re correct, it is a slur, was created as a slur and, while I firmly stand by my views, it does sting when used pejoratively. Neither of them were being complimentary.

Yes, your DD is not going to cut you off, OP. Why are you so panicky?

Tbh, you're a misogynist.

Maybe not much else to do on a Sunday (I say, while accepting the irony that I'm responding 😂)

Aha. That explains a lot. (As I said upthread, my SGD did one year of Gender Studies - because she needed a third subject before selecting her majors.)

I had to bite my tongue one time when I was told that she'd written a marvellous essay on lipstick as a signifier of gender. (I just congratulated her on getting a good grade.) I didn't correct her notion that I was too old to know about semiotics et al.

Ok, sure.

That makes it worse! Please ignore the people on this thread, you are well within your rights to be upset that your own daughter is bad-mouthing you to her professor to score brownie points.

Frodo, you know as well as I do that it is a slur and was always designed to be so. It is used to belittle women and invalidate their views.
At the same time, many women have reclaimed it to try to remove the sting.
context is everything. I don’t think it’s appropriate language for an academic to use when describing a person.

Sounds like you are shaming the writter. Not cool..

On your account the academic didn't use it? The only people who used it in your story were your daughters, one to describe you and one to describe herself?

And you said "For the record, I’m proud of my views and don’t object to being called a TERF"

So you agree with the first statement (that biological sex exists). Do you agree with the other two statements (that biological sex cannot be changed and that there are times when biological sex matters) or not?

Not panicking. Thanks though.

I don't need to take anything up with anyone to know it's an insult.

Telling
Everybody
Real
Facts

Tans / non binary is the currently cool identity to have.
It will pass.

Women needing single sex spaces at work, in hospitals, in toilets, in sports
is a legal and moral right.

Men who wish to appear in what they perceive to be a non masculine manner need to sort that out with other men
NOT impinge on women - as no woman has the power to give away the rights of others

Generational differences about homosexuality / drugs / sex outside marriage / politics
are as old as ever

Was that poster a troll though?

Or did she just disagree with you?

Disagreement with the OP doth not a troll make.

How was she trolling? I mean, if you sincerely think she was, obviously report her and get her posts deleted. I fucking hate trolls.

This is spades.

OP, you’re getting yourself so worked up and offended by something you don’t even know 100% even happened exactly as described.

Why not just explain what it is then?

Sorry. Didn’t realise you were a grooming expert.

Tired of
Explaining
Reality to
Fuckwits.

As I saw elsewhere.