Should guising/trick or treating have an upper age limit..?

[AmberRose86]

I live on a fairly small new build estate. Halloween is a pretty big deal here. Quite Americanised. Decorations are elaborate (for those who wish to participate. It’s quite well known in the area and families from surrounding areas travel to the estate to go guising there (another argument in itself but generally it does t really bother me).

Ive been taking my kids guising there since we moved in 4 years ago. There has always been a lovely, friendly atmosphere, just lots of families milling about. The kids absolutely love it.

Last night however I’d say the vibe was a bit different. Maybe because it was Friday night? Big groups of teenagers walking about in scream masks etc, pushing their way through crowds of small kids to the doors. I’m not talking 12-13 year olds. I mean 14, 15, 16. They looked like fully grown adults.

Someone (not me, for the record) has posted on the estate facebook page bemoaning these teenagers, too old for guising, intimidating, taking sweets that are for the wee ones etc. An argument has duly broken out. Surely it’s better that they are guising and not drinking in the park, who is this person to say that these teens are too old etc.

I’m kind of on the fence, but to be honest I did think the groups of teens were a bit on the ridiculous side. My eldest is 11 and understands she is at the upper end of the guising age scale.

The worst thing for me is that people tend to leave bowls of sweets outside when they take their own kids round the doors. These groups of teens have been caught on Ring doorbells emptying these bowls into their bags so the wee ones don’t get anything. But to be fair I accept that’s a hazard of leaving stuff outside (although this hasn’t been a problem in previous years).

YANBU don’t know why teenagers that old want to go out trick or treating. My niece went out last night she’s only 12 had a great time and now she’s riding a sugar high. I do think that there needs to be a bit of an age limit on trick or treating because they are only ruining it for the little ones.

How would you enforce it?

Well yes, this is the thing. Parents don’t know/care, people too British to tell them to go away.

DD aged 19 told me today end of yr 6 is the limit.

Where I live primary school age kids knock on doors and get sweets and when you go to secondary school you get to open doors and give out sweets so you still get to dress up if you like. Lots of people in my area have a rule that they don’t give sweets to teenagers just the younger ones unless they are accompanying younger siblings.

Of course it shouldn't have an age limit. The issue is that some teenagers don't behave but that shouldn't stop the well behaved, polite teenagers from joining in if they wish.

You refuse to give sweets to the older kids, you don’t have to be rude just say that you don’t have many so you’d like to keep them for the younger ones who don’t have freedom to buy their own sweets like teenagers do.

From my local Facebook group:
Halloween Reminder:
Teenagers who seem too old to be out guising chose childhood over partying. Be happy and hand over the snickers.
Can’t wait for Friday!! 😃
🎃🕸️🕷️🧛🏻‍♀️🦹🥷🧟‍♂️🕷️🎃

Not all teenagers have the freedom to buy their own sweets. Even if they did, I just can't imagine policing who does or doesn't get sweets. It's just a bit of fun and teenagers like to have fun too.

We give sweets to anyone who comes. My DD is 16 & autistic & loves Halloween! She also missed out for years because of COVID & lack of friendships so likes to partake. I also agree that better that then them going around drinking or egging houses!

It’s about behaviour rather than age. I’m perfectly happy to give out treats to teens if they’re polite and have dressed up in some way - if anybody of any age who has made an effort wants to knock on my door and pass the time of day with me in return for a snack size Mars bar, I’m all for it. Any visitors who were pushy or not behaving in the spirit of things, we told them so - and that included some groups of younger children who grabbed handfuls of sweets when offered the bowl.

We have a very popular estate and I saw hundreds last night. If your polite, you will get a sweet at any age. Even if your not in an outfit, I dont mind. Its a bit of fun.

There's this too.

Some children may look older but have autism, a learning disability etc and would be refused sweets at the door if it was based purely on age.

We do little sweet bags, but keep some individual Haribo packets on hand.

Any older kids - especially those that aren’t wearing costumes get the Haribo packs.

If they are accompanying a younger child and are wearing a costume they get a bag :)

I think most kids naturally outgrow it.

My younger child stopped at 13. My older child has SEND and is 15 and still gets really excited about going so I accompany him. He loves dressing up and always says thank you and wishes people a happy Halloween. I think it'll only be another year or two before he decides he doesn't want to do it any more. He just needs a little bit more time to grow up compared to other kids.

Everyone has always been really lovely to him and nobody has batted an eyelid about his age.

I think it's badly behaved kids of whatever age that spoil it for others.

I think some people are just a bit miserable. You’re right that if older kids nick all the sweets then they should be put in the public stocks but if they’re being polite and behaving then where’s the harm? My daughter loves Halloween (odd as I’ve never made a big thing of it). She and her friends perfect their costumes while the younger ones trick or treat them go out a bit later when the little ones have all gone home. They’re polite, they’re not greedy and their faces look like 6 year olds’ when they get back. She’s 14. I’m quite happy for her to continue to do this for the next year or two.

We had some horrible teenagers knock last night, not dressed up, just holding our pillow cases, and mocked our children (who had given them the sweets!) as they walked off. Then while we were out we saw another gang of teenagers completely ransack the sweets we left out, and stole the bowl.

It’s a shame for the well behaved teenagers but I just think if they are old enough not to be supervised by adults then they shouldn’t be out trick or treating because some of them clearly can’t behave themselves.

I don’t really care if teenagers come trick or treating as long as they’re polite. We had 2 groups of them last night and they all said thank you etc so no issues with it, all just innocent fun as long as they stick to knocking on doors with lights on and decorations.
Eldest DD went trick or treating with a friend last year when she was 13, this year they said it was too embarrassing so I think they reach a natural age when they know they’re too old!

We had some lovely polite teens last night. My son and his friends haven't been out for the past few years, but the last year they dressed up, they all left home with a bucket of sweets each and handed them out to younger kids in the streets rather than knocking doors - entirely their own idea.

I understand what you mean when it’s unpleasant children (of any age) that steal whole bowls of sweets, are rude and use it as an excuse to intimidate but my almost 16 year old went out trick or treating last night, we spent ages on his costume and make up and he’d been planning his costume for weeks. He was really excited to go, he’s a great lad and he’s been awfully bullied for many years so has missed out on normal stuff you’d do with friends for years. I wasn’t going to tell him he’s ‘too old’ when he was perfectly polite and eager to go. He’s autistic but the friends he went out with aren’t, just kids who still happen to behave like kids which I think is great considering what some of the alternatives can be.

Bad behaviour is bad behaviour. Pushing kids is cunty at any age.

We T&T and then come home and send kids to answer the door.

Most teens CBA to knock and those that do tens to react better to a child and be far more polite than they are to adults.

I sort of have a soft spot for the teens. It's one of the few child things they still want to do while pretending their too cool to do the same thing as little kids.

We had them empty the bucket we left out last year but by then the little ones had already been round and its none of my business who takes it, as long as it goes. Taking the whole thing in one go is just how some kids enjoy it 🤷‍♀️ once it's gone, it's gone.

Youd have to be very naive to think teens aren't going to do that 🤣

As far as I'm concerned, I'm putting out free sweets that I want gone, I don't care who takes it and definitely CBA to get wound up about it.

Teens are still kids really. Let them outgrow it naturally. I wouldn’t be a fan of age limits. Obviously bad behaviour shouldn’t be allowed, but otherwise what’s the harm?

I was walking behind a group of lads a few weeks ago. Tall, 16 or 17 year olds maybe. They were earnestly discussing their favourite jelly baby flavour 😁

We don't do halloween but i have teenagers with SEN. Tbh i find it disheartening when people think they should be excluded to give priority to young children. I think it should be for everyone who wants to do it, providing they behave themselves.

Or maybe parents of 14 or 15 year olds think it’s ok if their child still wants to do childish things? And, as long as they behave well, the parents are fine with it.

(And I disagree with you btw. Kids of this age don’t look like fully grown adults.)

i'm 18 and i love halloween and trick or treating!! im autistic and halloween is a special interest of mine. i went trick or treating last night with my parents and 12 year old sister. i think if older kids/teens are being kind, respectful and sensible, then there is no issue with them having fun on halloween! but obviously anyone who is rude, mean, or is behaving badly should be told off, because they can ruin the fun for everyone else