Should guising/trick or treating have an upper age limit..?

[AmberRose86]

I live on a fairly small new build estate. Halloween is a pretty big deal here. Quite Americanised. Decorations are elaborate (for those who wish to participate. It’s quite well known in the area and families from surrounding areas travel to the estate to go guising there (another argument in itself but generally it does t really bother me).

Ive been taking my kids guising there since we moved in 4 years ago. There has always been a lovely, friendly atmosphere, just lots of families milling about. The kids absolutely love it.

Last night however I’d say the vibe was a bit different. Maybe because it was Friday night? Big groups of teenagers walking about in scream masks etc, pushing their way through crowds of small kids to the doors. I’m not talking 12-13 year olds. I mean 14, 15, 16. They looked like fully grown adults.

Someone (not me, for the record) has posted on the estate facebook page bemoaning these teenagers, too old for guising, intimidating, taking sweets that are for the wee ones etc. An argument has duly broken out. Surely it’s better that they are guising and not drinking in the park, who is this person to say that these teens are too old etc.

I’m kind of on the fence, but to be honest I did think the groups of teens were a bit on the ridiculous side. My eldest is 11 and understands she is at the upper end of the guising age scale.

The worst thing for me is that people tend to leave bowls of sweets outside when they take their own kids round the doors. These groups of teens have been caught on Ring doorbells emptying these bowls into their bags so the wee ones don’t get anything. But to be fair I accept that’s a hazard of leaving stuff outside (although this hasn’t been a problem in previous years).

This really. Behaviour is the issue , not the age. While out I have seen such bad behaviour from younger kids (of acceptable age) too, some on their own ,some with parents.

Give the old ones apples. They never come back.

I’m happy to give anyone who knocks sweets as long as they aren’t rude or aggressive. There is so little joy in life I say enjoy every moment that can bring a smile
to someone’s face.

You give sweets to anyone under 18 who made the effort to dress up and is being polite. I’d rather they were engaged in community events and making connections, than being disaffected in the shadows.

If a couple teenagers came to my door dressed up and respectfully took a few sweets, said thank you and went on their way… why would I have an issue? I’m not about to say “sorry you’re too old to join the fun.” What’s the Halloween version of a Scrooge?

Surely if they’re misbehaving that’s one thing, but kids enjoying the spirit of it and dressed up? Crack on.

My kids both naturally on their own decided they were done around 13. Wouldn’t judge any kid who still enjoyed it older though.

My adult dsd likes trick or treating , she has high level sen. Everyone was lovely to her

My teens 12 and 14 would live to go track or treating. Full dress up and would spend ages on outfits. Sadly people reaxt to them like they are doing something wrong. They are polite, well mannered.

I have no issue with older teens trick or treating if they are wearing costumes and knocking before 9.30pm

I don't care how old people are so long as they are polite and respectful

I would hope not the very young children, but there comes an age when it's 'seriously not cool' to have your parents with you, but when you're still young and vulnerable yourself.

In general, once a child is old enough to walk to and from school on their own/with friends, they would likely kick back on the idea of their parents accompanying/supervising them when out trick or treating.

Even if the parents tell them to only go to houses of people they know well, if they see lots of 'untapped potential' for getting even more sweets on their travels, many will try their luck anyway.

I'm not saying that it's likely to be dangerous in these circumstances; just that it's far from impossible, and thus a very unnecessary risk.

@SprayWhiteDung my daughter and her friends walk themselves to school and ballet and whatever all day but a parent follows along for trick or treating. Mostly because of the slight risk of running into the other sorts of teenagers using it as an excuse for chaos. There’s definitely an in between age for some children - not all.

My ds 13 went to his friend's house and they did pumpkin carving and the friend's mum made them a little halloween buffet.
Then they went out trick or treating.

My dd14 spent weeks planning and coordinating her outfit with her friends and they all made a big effort.

I had some teenagers come to my house who's costumes were amazing and funny. They were polite and well mannered.
They made me smile and I was very happy to give them sweets.

It's such a shame that some teens give others a bad name, but I don't think that means the good ones should miss out.

I don’t agree. I went out with a group of 12-14 years who were well behaved and if there were younger kids around let them go first. I didn’t see the problem. Round here it’s usually like that. The kids decide for themselves when they are too old.

I'm biased with my answer. My eldest (16) and three of his friends all got dressed up and took my youngest (11) out trick or treating. My autoimmune condition means that I was really struggling and couldn't have taken him myself. My biggest fear was that people would be mean about the teenagers being dressed up. They all love trick or treating, are doing absolutely no harm and even got given a big box of sweets for being so polite whilst out.

I was really grateful for the people in my area being so lovely to them. It meant that my youngest got to have a great time with other (older) kids all dressed up too.

I think it depends. We took our little one out. He’s 3. We dressed in family matching costumes because that’s who we are. However there were lots of older teens out too. They were so lovely and so polite. They always let little one go to the door first and were really sweet and complimentary with him.

I don’t think there’s an upper age limit but I think there’s a politeness requirement.

Last year, ages after our last group of children ,2 youths - at least 20 with plastic masks knocked at our door. I had run out of sweets / cakes. I did not feel comfortable offering anything at all tbh. I was flabbergasted when they said have you got any money !!!

I immediately pressed the button to let the dogs out and they left smartish.

Put us off taking part tbh.

I have no issue at all with teens / older teens doing trick or treating. They are still young and are just trying to join in the fun. No one knows whats going on in their lives. Ive seen some pathetic costumes and also some great ones from older kids. If they are willing to go to the effort of dressing up and knocking houses door to door im willing to reward with some treats. There is no harm in it. Restrictions and boundaries shouldnt be forced onto them by others. Ive never heard or believed that halloween is only for younger kids. I think the kids will decide themselves when they feel too old for it. All kids (older and younger) have been well behaved and polite.

My 2 girls (17 & 18) 2 friends (17 & 18) & youngest daughters boyfriend (17) all went out dressed up. However, they only go to look at the decorations people have out & hand out sweets to younger kids on the way. They only take sweets from certain houses who offer & insist but they then get added to the ones they hand out anyway. They just like to dress up & see all the decked out houses!!!

My kids know - no trick or treating once they start secondary. If they want sweets they can buy them, I'm happy to host their friends for a halloween party or a scary film might, but I don't want older children out begging neighbours. I don't love trick or treating generally but tolerate it for young kids who like the dressing up etc.

My (just) 14 year old went trick or treating with a small group of his friends (also 14 and one 15 year old) in our local town. They went round a few estates and several of my friends who live there messaged me to say how polite the boys all were. They wore skeleton costumes and said please and thank you, and in fact contrary to your experience when they came across a bowl of sweets they took just one each. In fact one of my friends said she was coming back with her own children having left a bowl outside her house which was by that point empty. She said the boys were coming back down the path as she approached her house and said to her children, “oh this house looks like it’s run out of sweets, would you like some out of our bags?” She said when she looked back at her ring doorbell, the bowl had been emptied not long after she went out by a gang of little tiny kids whose parents were stood at the gate chatting.

leave the teenagers alone, they aren’t all bad. In fact I remember years ago long before I had children, I answered the door to a big group of teens on Halloween and was surprised that they were the politest children that called all evening! People want kids to grow up so quickly these days - I prefer my teen and tween to still enjoy normal childhood things, play games, jump on trampolines, ride their bikes, and not to be into make up, gaming and YouTube.

I still went trick or treating at 15. I really enjoyed dressing up and seeing all the houses done up.

When I was out with my daughter there was an adult out, I’d say in her 30s, she was trick or treating. She was with a carer. She was having fun and was excited. So I’d definitely say no age limit.

I had a group of teenage girls, all dresses in matching pirate costumes. They looked amazing, my daughter (toddler) was so fascinated with them. They spoke to her, and were really polite.

Teenagers being drunk and behaving badly..Definitely out of order. Under age drinking? A real excuse for a piss fest?

Post their latest idiot shows on Snapchat.

They really spoil it for younger children

Way back when. The Police might come out and sort out legless idiot rowdies. But now they don't have the resources and we have Community Policing.

If you want a quiet Halloween
Go.out

Or stay in turn the lights down low. Pull the curtains. On no account leave bowls full.of sweets.

Turn off door bell and intercom and get a chain and padlock on.you.front gate.

Never mind you have Bonfire Night to look forward to in a few days

Have spent last half hour listening to massive firework.noise from the local park.

Truly thought there had been a real explosion.when.the first one went off!

Wow!!!
Or maybe the 3I/Atlas comet had.crash landed.l

Bon.Nuit

🎃👎🍻🧌🎉🚫❓

x

Yup. My DC were told that guiding is for primary school children. As teens, they can have a film night with friends.

I had some really lovely chats eith older kids on my doorstep this year

Including. A couple who were about 17. They'd learned to do stage make up snd had wanted to show it off to people
I happily chatted and gave them all sweets regardless of age and a lot of parents too

Yes some dicks ruin it but a lot of teenagers are actually pretty nice given half a chance

I said no my 15yo trick or treating he’s six foot and wanted to go out in ye olde plague mask and claw hands. I thought he’d give someone a heart attack!