Should guising/trick or treating have an upper age limit..?

[AmberRose86]

I live on a fairly small new build estate. Halloween is a pretty big deal here. Quite Americanised. Decorations are elaborate (for those who wish to participate. It’s quite well known in the area and families from surrounding areas travel to the estate to go guising there (another argument in itself but generally it does t really bother me).

Ive been taking my kids guising there since we moved in 4 years ago. There has always been a lovely, friendly atmosphere, just lots of families milling about. The kids absolutely love it.

Last night however I’d say the vibe was a bit different. Maybe because it was Friday night? Big groups of teenagers walking about in scream masks etc, pushing their way through crowds of small kids to the doors. I’m not talking 12-13 year olds. I mean 14, 15, 16. They looked like fully grown adults.

Someone (not me, for the record) has posted on the estate facebook page bemoaning these teenagers, too old for guising, intimidating, taking sweets that are for the wee ones etc. An argument has duly broken out. Surely it’s better that they are guising and not drinking in the park, who is this person to say that these teens are too old etc.

I’m kind of on the fence, but to be honest I did think the groups of teens were a bit on the ridiculous side. My eldest is 11 and understands she is at the upper end of the guising age scale.

The worst thing for me is that people tend to leave bowls of sweets outside when they take their own kids round the doors. These groups of teens have been caught on Ring doorbells emptying these bowls into their bags so the wee ones don’t get anything. But to be fair I accept that’s a hazard of leaving stuff outside (although this hasn’t been a problem in previous years).

We always have a few older teens coming up, usually without an outfit or minimum effort. But as long as they are polite and take a couple of sweets like the other kids I don't mind.

Kids pushing around and trying to intimidate the younger ones are the issue, whatever their age. We also have some of those each year, and they aren't usually the older ones, more 13ish and "too cool" for trick or treating.

DD went out last night with her friends, with me trailing after them. Two of them are nearly 14. They were polite , well behaved , only took one sweet and let the little ones go first. They’re already talking about next year. In many ways they’re still kids even if they’re as tall as me.

My daughter went out last night with some friends. She turns 13 in a few weeks and the friends were 13-16. They dressed up and were polite and we live in Scotland so they are expected to perform for their sweets. They love it. I’m happy to have anyone come to my door with the excitement they bring and I’m delighted my daughter wants to hang onto her childhood a bit longer.

Would you rather the teenagers are encouraged to stay inside gaming or stand around vaping in the park?

Make them show a passport or birth certificate

Digital ID

My 14 year old went out with three friends last night. They were all dressed up in inflatable dinosaur costumes and delighted any younger kids who saw them. They had their pictures taken repeatedly 🤣

I don’t care how old they are as long as they make an effort, we’ve had teens turn up not even dressed up! I stop answering the door at 8 which is when most of the chancers come out but before that I’ll give everyone a sweet

Absolutely no age limit. 14 or 41, if you are wanting to go and dress up and behave well, whatever, have a sweet. Anyone who tuts at my literal children for wanting to trick or treat because they’ve decided they look too old should probably just opt out of the whole thing tbh (which is fine).

In the festive tradition

I very deliberately leave some sweets in the cupboard for the older kids that come over around 8pm.

Childhood doesn't last forever and kids are expected to grow up quickly so I'm happy to accommodate a night of childhood fun.

It is a big deal on my estate too. Adults with the children also usually dress up. People drive to it. Strict 5-8 pm policy. Last year a woman questioned how old my son was (12). Then said that ok and gave him a sweet. He was embarrassed. It was mentioned on the fb page she was doing this and all other comments were appalled she had done this. As all the teens are polite and
doing something community based and fun. What do people actually want from teens? Theres now very little for them to do without cost and halloween is a free event anyone can enjoy. Why be a petty fun sponge?

This year he got significantly less than the 9 year old as some households gave to one and not the other. He said he wasnt bothered but I could tell the shine has gone. I find it so tough encouraging my teens out of the house, and im actually irritated people are so mean and petty about handing over a penny sweet.

46 and Scottish here, so yes, guising was very much a thing when I was young (and for my parents, and my grandparents... Halloween has been 'a thing' in Scotland / Ireland for forever).

However, even when I was a child, there was an unspoken rule that about 12-ish / going from primary to secondary was when it came to an end.

(Also, guising required some form of transaction - you had to tell a joke / sing a song / do a wee dance for your sweeties. I can't imagine any teenager doing that without dying of CRINGE.)

Ring doorbell sorts it if you don’t want to give to teens.

Personally I think primary age is the cut off. And they should be in costumes.

Twee messages on FB groups about teenagers pushes me the other way. I find it weird people think I should be grateful that someone else’s teen isn’t on their iPad.

I live in an estate where Halloween is popular with families. There is a lovely atmosphere with kids knocking on doors, and people dressing up at home giving out candies. DC1 is 14yo and hasn’t gone since she’s in secondary. I think she felt embarrassed and childish doing it. This year, she took her little sister and also made a big effort doing face make up and sewed a mask. I think they are too old when they have outgrown it. As long as they are polite and have made an effort with dressing up, I don’t see a problem.

My 13 year old DSS loved trick or treating. He and his best friend both look much older as they are very tall. But they are young kids still really. They took loads of care planning an outfit and love going to see all the decorations people had put out.

As long as they are respectful and sensible I don't mind what age they are!

My 15 year old DSS chose to hang out with his little siblings to go trick or treating, which I thought was really sweet. He dressed up with them and we all went around the local houses.
One lady answered the door and gave the little ones sweets, then told DSS he’s too old and shouldn’t be doing it. So wouldn’t give him a sweet.
put a real dampener on things as he was then sheepish about asking anyone else. It was one sweet so no idea why she made such an issue.
he is tall so I wonder if she thought he was an adult but I wish she hadn’t been mean and given him a lecture

That's the thing. Guessing someone's age is just that, a guess.

Unless someone asks for ages or demands to see proof of age, they are almost certainly going to guess incorrectly at times.

Those taking Halloween so seriously that they have all of these rules about something that should be fun and instead results in lecturing children about their age probably shouldn't bother in the first place. It's so mean spirited.

I’m in Scotland and my daughter and her friends make up some sort of song and dance routine every year. It’s lovely and innocent and I won’t put a stop to it until they decide the time has passed. Time enough to be grown up, might as well wear a fun outfit and sing in the streets with your friends while you can.

Oh right.

Who died & made her God?

@AmberRose86 the age isn't the issue, it's the behaviour! Any ring door bell anyone can use to name & shame.

Yep, exactly. Long may they enjoy themselves!!

Mean Bat!!'

Hope he still enjoyed the evening with his sibs!!

Locally the teenagers are out for trouble. Older children only seem to go if with primary aged siblings.

However we do have some 18 plus year olds who go all out amazing costumes but they wonder around the streets giving out candy themselves.

We have seen children I knew in year 8 steal
pumpkins and whole bowls of sweets their mothers and fathers would of all said not my Lindsay. But she was I saw her and her mates.

I think if they’re out with younger kids (siblings/cousins) it’s okay but groups of teens is too intimidating.

My daughters are 14 and went trick or treating, in fact one of my girls has been making her costume for 9 months. It's nice that they still find enjoyment from Halloween like this, most of their peers are more mature but tbh last night we had lots of teens 14+ but all of them had made an effort. I didnt see any pushing or shoving younger kids out the way, they was all very polite.

Excellent!!