to wonder why people spend so long titting about with flowers and ribbons when they are making a lifetime commitment to another human being?

[muddypuddle]

I probably am, but I am sick to the back teeth of listening to all the blather in my office about canapes and favours and almonds and chair back floral arrangements and ribbons and lighting and nothing about the woman in questions' husband to be. Is it really mainly about the shopping?

Over 20 grand, 20 grand...

That's no titting around, that's grand larceny.

I had 50 people n a barbie!! Fab day!

My boss came to work on Monday with fake plastic diamonds that had been scattered on the tables at the wedding he went to

We want our guests to have amazing food, copious amounts of champagne and entertainment all night - on us. That's all we want everyone to have a great time now we have finally decided to tie the knot.
Is that wrong?

A friend had both - first wedding no expense spared. Ended in divorce and did second wedding 'on the cheap'. She says the second wedding much much better. The best wedding I went to had no cars (friends cars decorated), no official photographer (friends did the job), casual dress and a buffet in a local (nice) hotel - sat with whoever and wherever you wanted to. Lovely relaxed day.

Some people want to spend the cash, some don't. Horses for courses and all that. Whether is a BBQ, a village hall or a sodding banquet - who cares?

I think it's an enormous leap to suggest that someone who spends a wodge of cash on a wedding day hasn't thought about the wedding, and is using it as a distraction from an unhappy relationship. Surely spending a large wodge makes you think even harder about the ramifications if it goes wrong??

Thank you Fulfina...and perhaps if people have left it later in life like we have then they may have more time/money to plan their wedding.

Muddy puddle - yes I do think about how the money could have been better spent, especially now I'm a mum. But we were helped out enormously by my parents and my ILs.

I was a princess for a day and get married in a castle. I have it on DVD to treasure for ever.

gordon - I'm glad it was perfect for you I guess when it comes down to it I like to have cash squirrelled away

Yes but how many people can really afford to spend these sums these days. Surely this sort of money would be better used by paying off some of the mortgage. Maybe i'm being too practical! Just see it as such a waste thats all.

And it was on Valentine's Day!

My wedding cost £30k 9 years ago. We've been together for 22 years this year. Only cost so much because MIL insisted on inviting half the country @ £100 a head. Mind you the flowers did cost £3k and they were very nice. I have to say though that most people said it was the best wedding they'd ever been to and it certainly was for us - we still look back happily.

we didn't spend much on our wedding, my dress was bespoke made by a local dressmaker for £800 and that was the most expensive thing.

my mum, aunts and sisters did all the catering and made the cake.

for the flowers we cleared out tesco and asda and did them ourselves, but i had my bouquet done at a florist.

dad brewed the beer and got a huge discount on the marquee(mates rates)

and everyone said it was a fab wedding as it was so relaxed, none of the top table and seating arrangement faff.

bluefox - we'd get on

Ex SIL spent £360 on a pair of shoes

Christ knows how much she spent on the dress and the wedding as a whole. And all of this for a marriage that failed to last 6 months.

I swear that she spent more time on picking her clothes than thinking about her relationship.

She always was a bit vacuous

Yes, best tip for weddings NO TOP TABLE

(esp if any parents divorced)

I have to go to a wedding on Saturday.

(NOT mine, MB, put those plates down!)

Shit, I was reaching for the bubble wrap there for a minute!!!!!

3k on flowers? 3k? on flowers? I hope they were really very pretty indeed

Muddypuddle - my own wedding cost £46 total. Special license. Dh still says we were ripped off - could have done it for £23 without the special license. Didnt tell anyone but witnesses and my dad - just did it!

how sad your MIL insisted

families row over wedding so much it makes me want to scream

gordongopher - i ahd to laugh when you said you had a dvd to treasure

wht a strange thing to say. surely you should have a marriage to treasure?

oh god sorry that was a bit nippy of me
hit a nerve thats all

My shoes cost £360

However my dress was £80

I got my priorities right!

Our wedding was literally like organising some kind of military invasion. We lived in the USA. My friends and family were in South Africa and New Zealand. DH's family and friends were in UK and Europe. The SA bunch couldn't afford to travel anywhere due to currency exchange. So everyone travelled to SA - to the middle of nowhere on top of it.

That meant organising everything from afar, literally dealing with people who had telephone operators to connect calls through from the local exchange.

And as everyone was having to travel a billion miles, we wanted to make it a weekend long thing so we actually got to see our friends and family. And we wanted to make it worth their while. I'd have been pissed off if I'd flown half way around the world for a slice of cake and cup of tea.

So yes, I did spend hours discussing flower colours etc - although it didn't make an iota of difference once there and third world logistics took over and we simply got what we were given.

But it was an absolutely fabulous weekend that was worth every penny. Think it cost $15k including our two week honeymoon to Tanzania, global goody bags for each guest with little presents from each country (USA, UK and SA) and little carved African fertility dolls which all of our friends still have on display.

It's our 6th wedding anniversary this weekend actually.

I love titting about with flowers for my wedding. Fabulous.

I have no children, and the money to spend so whatever.

I really love him and am excited to marry him. The wedding is just a big party around it.

I don't see the correlation between a fancy wedding and a bad marriage to be honest. As long as you're getting married to be married, then who cares whether you elope or you invite the world and his wife, it's not anybody else's choice (or at least it shouldn't be). I know that for some people, perhaps women especially, they get so fixated on the childhood dream of being a bride that they'll say "yes" to anyone who proposes, but I bet that most people are just keen to throw a fabulous party and to have some nice photos of themselves not looking like a dog's dinner for once. I speak from experience here - I have aged 10 years since having DD (18 months) - thank God there is a tangible record of me looking quite nice!

Perhaps we are unusual in wanting to throw big family parties though - we invited 97 people to DD's first birthday party. For our benefit, obviously, not hers. We had a fantastic time.