to wonder why people spend so long titting about with flowers and ribbons when they are making a lifetime commitment to another human being?

[muddypuddle]

I probably am, but I am sick to the back teeth of listening to all the blather in my office about canapes and favours and almonds and chair back floral arrangements and ribbons and lighting and nothing about the woman in questions' husband to be. Is it really mainly about the shopping?

but fio they can be happy with the thought it is pulling together the whole meaning of someones marriage and life with her new husband

where do these people get the money???

me and dh had to pay for our own wedding as many do and it really knocks all that nonsense on the head - ended up eloping and getting married on the beach but find it shocking how much gets spent on british weddings and a lot of it seems utterly joyless and stressful.

Weddings these days - so much money is spent/wasted on tat tat tat - why?????

MNers on the subject of expensive weddings

lol, I like your thread title muddypuddle.

I think that I did more than my fair share of titting about before my wedding day.

My mother and I spent ages and ages choosing 8 different and complimentary truffles to mix and match between each guest for their wedding favours (it was a hard job ).

BIL (aged 14 at the wedding) had other ideas. Following the speeches he pottered off and got himself a plastic carrier bag and then systematically went round each table, emptying the delightful little gold boxes, all ribboned up with our initials imprinted upon them, containing the chocolates, into the bag.

He then hid the bag and took it to school with him on monday and sold all the chocolates.

I hear he made quite a lot of money. I think he will go far in this world.

you put it perfectly sophiajane - joyless and stressful perfectly represents this woman at the moment. About 3pm on Christmas day I start to get a bit 'shite, that was a bit of an anti-climax wasn't it?' - can you imagine what shes going to think? How can any day live up to the expense and the planning and the worry - and how can the wedding night be anything other than the tail end of The Day rather than the special bit when you get to be alone?

slubber - the second your brother needs investment in his first business, I'll be there to buy ground level shares.

Muddypuddle, I am going to get slated for this but really think it is the less happy couples that tend to have the most showy, over produced wedding days. Crass generalisation but honestly think all the faffing is used as a distraction!

He has just got a place at Edinburgh to study economics & maths.

He is an uber nerd (just like DH) with a giant sized brain. I am more than happy to be related by marriage to him.

When we got married we just had a meal in the village hall. We had 80 guests I think and lots of good food (catered by a local lady and family) - it was very straightforward and I think quite old fashioned - basically a replica of my parents wedding reception thirty years before. We had a lovely cake and toasts but we did not have an evening do. By 5 o'clock we were on our way to get changed for our wedding night in a hotel and our guests were on their way home to put their feet up and have a cup of tea. No evening do greatly reduced the stress and the cost and we remember our wedding night as a very special time together - just us. Over a decade on people are still telling us how much they like our wedding.

I agree muddy. I heard about a mother and daughter who fell out over whether to have chocolate or fruit cake. I mean, blardy hell. Know what really matters apart from your relationship with the person you're marrying? Having your mum actually there. My mother died 2 months before my wedding. I'd gladly have got married in a pigsty if it meant she could've been there.

I spent a year planning my wedding and probably spent over £25,000 on it (including honeymoon). I don't regret a thing. Everything was perfect.

I was bridesmaid for my brother and sil when i was about 10. My sil burst into tears when i got my hair cut a few weeks before the wedding. It's not like i had a grade 2 all over - i went from mid-back length hair to shoulder length hair, but she wanted both her bridesmaids to have the same length french plaits.

I like that Northern. Sounds relaxed and pleasant.

It was lovely

It's funny you should post this as I was just having a muse about my hypothetical wedding as I ate my lunch.

I am not getting married but if I was I couldnt imagine anything worse than titting about with flowers and colour schemes. I would much prefer to go with a simple registry office and meal.

I quite like listening in on all the 'titting about' of other people over weddings. I find it hilarious that people can get so worked up over every minor detail. And all the faffing - the menu tasting sessions and the dress fittings and the rehearsal dinners. Then you wake up the next day and you've spent 20 grand. B'Jesus. I could never have done it.

I will be spending an eye watering amount on my wedding in August. I assume that after twelve years together and 3 children we have thought enough about the 'marriage' to thoroughly enjoy our wedding

I'm with you on this one Muddy

I've never understood the whole, you NEED wedding cars, you NEED a sit down meal stuff.
Who says I do?

There was a huge controversy a couple of years ago at my cousins wedding when I didn't want to spend about £5-10 on a flower to pin on my dress!

Not from the bride btw, just my family with the whole tradition blah, blah speech.

I cant stand it when people are so obcessed with some detail having to be 'different' and 'unique' from every other wedding. FGS everythings been done before!

gordon - really I'm glad you feel that way. Do you still think it was worth the money afterwards? Do you ever find yourself wondering if it would have been better spent on a bit more house, or pension, or a gap year or something? If not, great. Glad I didnt have to sit near you at work tho

A lot of weddings now seem to be more about spending more than and out-doing everyone else - a bit like childrens birthday parties.