Awful neighbours or me? Finally moving

[finallymoving22]

Have lived in my HA house for a little over a year now.
Nothing but nuisance of the children, I'm talking about playing out at 6:30am, shouting and screaming waking my kids up.

Trespassing on my driveway, throwing things at my car, chucking mud at my house, footballs being kicked at my windows, the list is endless.

I brought planters and fencing to block it all of and that caused the parents of these kids to take issue with me and stopped talking to me.

I spoke to the council who were pretty useless and advised me they couldn't do an "arranged move" as "these issues court occur anywhere".

The final straw came when one of my neighbours made me aware that she was watching me and who visits me on her Ring door bell and as I have previously been a victim of DV and stalking this started of some anxiety issues for me as she would constantly watch and then proceed in asking intrusive questions after.

Me and OH have saved some money during the last 10 months this has been occurring and family will also chip in when we finally leave here December before Xmas and give the home up.

There is a Facebook and WhatsApp group chat and I have never been invited to join either (older lady I am friendly with told me about it).

I was putting up Halloween decorations yesterday and my NDN came out and asked me "if everything was OK as she had seen a HA rep attend the property on Thursday and it looked very formal" (was our HA officer who had come to inspect the property before giving our new landlord a reference).

I basically told her to mind her own business and to never question my visitors again and she walked off.

I have pretty much bene ostracised here just for putting up a fence and not allowing kids to damage my car etc, I have never been rude or nasty and I just feel awful like I am the problem here.

I used to take in this neighbours parcels and bins whilst she was at work and she created a WhatsApp group and didn't even invite me, despite us never having issues but she sided with the other parents here.

AIBU to feel like this?

Just look forward to a new start soon and make sure everything gets off on different footing. Take csre

I know. It's like a 'calling all cunts' klaxon goes off and they all descend on the threat to berate and belittle the OP.

I bet that you've got a very big wooden spoon.

You need to just focus on the move now and try to blank her out

Anyone watched the perfect neighbour on Netflix? 😂

Why are you bothered if you’re moving anyway??

There was a thread about a month ago and the poster was the neighbour who started the WhatsApp/Facebook group and left her neighbour out and also said she kept tabs on her neighbours visitors via the ring cam. The responses were the exact opposite of this,. telling her how awful she was🤔🤔

Link?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5418942-was-i-in-the-wrong-neighbour-issue?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

I'm gobsmacked that you're giving up a secure HA tenancy to go private for reasons that are frankly ridiculous. Some of us would give a limb for a HA place....
I don't like the sound of mud being thrown though, the rest I wouldn't care about.

In other words she said they wouldn’t want to join a neighbourhood chat as they don’t really find the people friendly apart from XYZ (neighbour across the street who she is friendly with

And She also has had an issue with my next door neighbour’s kids trespassing on her drive which I know she hated as it would wake her kids up.

so it’s all a bit haphazard

Your neighbour-most of it just sounds like normal neighbourly small talk.
OP you sound like the increasing number of people I encounter who are totally freaked out at basic interaction with strangers. Sounds like you may have a general social anxiety and are prone to misreading innocuous stuff. There really isn't as much going on in your neighbour's questions as you imagine. It's what neighbours do. They ask about each other.
So much has been said recently about social anxiety being made worse through dependence on social media. I guess you prove that point too by worrying about not being added to this and that group. You are very invested in non face to face communication!

It's great to be yourself and follow your instincts about other people, but I feel your instincts here are not really accurate, and wonder if it's something that often crops up, reading bad intentions into innocent remarks.

Just my take on it. Good luck with the move.

I dont think people who have council houses understand how lucky they are.

You are giving up a secure social housing tenancy to move into private rental because of these issues?

I can tell you that may well be a bad move. You have no security of tenure, you don’t have the protection of reasonable rent nor do you have the services of a HA who deal with serious ASB.

Honestly it’s been a year. Kids grow up and shout less, put some boundaries in place, focus on what you can control and don’t let the other neighbours bother you.

I lived with some serious harrassment from our neighbour until a conviction and I stayed put until a suitable social housing property was secured. I wasn’t going into private rent.

Ps most of these issues do sound like lifestyle rather than asb. New estates also take a while to bed in.

Honestly, some people are just tossers. I would stop trying to fathom her out because they are just tossers! You're outta there and hopefully your new place will bring you some much needed peace.

As a HO though I would potentially write a letter reminding residents that all occupants and visitors should be aware of their actions so as not to disturb their neighbours particularly early morning or evenings.

That they should not enter other people’s property including driveways and gardens nor allow other things to do.

I would also remind them that Ring door bells are subject to the domestic cctv regulations and be positioned so the CCTV to minimises intrusion into neighbours’ and other people’s privacy.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/domestic-cctv-using-cctv-systems-on-your-property/domestic-cctv-using-cctv-systems-on-your-property

I would also consider mediation if both parries were amendable.

Or feared. I used to work in social housing, on some estates families who are long time residents rule the roost. They can make other residents’ lives uncomfortable. Sounds like there’s some of that going on.

I worked with residents’ groups, some were really community minded, and did their best for their neighbourhoods. Other groups struggled because of factions within. Excluding one neighbour from a community group is unpleasant IMO.

Op, I pointed out the previous thread because the responses there were pretty unanimous that this woman who was acting in a similar way to your neighbour was definitely the problem. Don't give her another inch if headspace. Life is to short to put up with shitty neighbours.

And not just any HA property

a brand spanking new property!

Yes.
Two thoughts: guns are bad, and annoying kids can make someone's life hell.

don't listen to the posters attacking you. there are a lot of weirdo / incel / red pill men and odd women here. you are not the issue. the neighbour most certainly is and has no concept of boundaries.

Overdone cabbage has overdone her point.
Ignore the negaive posts op, good luck with your move.

Thank you to the kind posters on here.
I do feel isolated living here, whilst I do prefer to keep myself to myself it would be nice to have the option to be included in things or to be asked.

I was initially friendly with my neighbour until she started those social media groups and excluded me and I stopped doing her favours as friendliness is a two way street.

It was after all this that her nosiness began to bother me and again I find it intrusive for someone to question one's visitors and make it be known that they are watching you on their Ring door bell.

If she was watching and didn't say anything I wouldn't be that bothered but it's the point of how she makes it be known when I respect her privacy and don't ask personal or intrusive questions but that'd just me.

There is about 3/4 mums here who have this "group" as one poster mentions runs the estate, that is what her and her other neighbour are doing.
Not just to me but to another neighbour who objected to their kids behaviour as well.

I know people say HA properties are hard to obtain and I am extremely grateful for mine but my happiness is more important and I just hate living here so much.
My house is a mid terrace and bang in the middle so there is no escaping them.

@crispychipsthank you x