Awful neighbours or me? Finally moving

[finallymoving22]

Have lived in my HA house for a little over a year now.
Nothing but nuisance of the children, I'm talking about playing out at 6:30am, shouting and screaming waking my kids up.

Trespassing on my driveway, throwing things at my car, chucking mud at my house, footballs being kicked at my windows, the list is endless.

I brought planters and fencing to block it all of and that caused the parents of these kids to take issue with me and stopped talking to me.

I spoke to the council who were pretty useless and advised me they couldn't do an "arranged move" as "these issues court occur anywhere".

The final straw came when one of my neighbours made me aware that she was watching me and who visits me on her Ring door bell and as I have previously been a victim of DV and stalking this started of some anxiety issues for me as she would constantly watch and then proceed in asking intrusive questions after.

Me and OH have saved some money during the last 10 months this has been occurring and family will also chip in when we finally leave here December before Xmas and give the home up.

There is a Facebook and WhatsApp group chat and I have never been invited to join either (older lady I am friendly with told me about it).

I was putting up Halloween decorations yesterday and my NDN came out and asked me "if everything was OK as she had seen a HA rep attend the property on Thursday and it looked very formal" (was our HA officer who had come to inspect the property before giving our new landlord a reference).

I basically told her to mind her own business and to never question my visitors again and she walked off.

I have pretty much bene ostracised here just for putting up a fence and not allowing kids to damage my car etc, I have never been rude or nasty and I just feel awful like I am the problem here.

I used to take in this neighbours parcels and bins whilst she was at work and she created a WhatsApp group and didn't even invite me, despite us never having issues but she sided with the other parents here.

AIBU to feel like this?

Sorry how am I rude?

I leave neighbours alone, I don't sit there watching my Ring door bell and noting who visits and then go up to the neighbour and question them about it..

I don't order parcels to my neighbours address either.

I told her to mind her own business as I am fed up of being questioned about my visitors and comings and going's.

Leave my poor neighbours too it?
It their kids that have been causing me a nuisance.

Their kids had been trespassing on my drive for months until I had to fork out on fencing and planters.

I don't approach neighbours either it's the other way round actually.

I used to live next door to a manipulative nosey old boot too. Moving house was the best thing we ever did. Our neighbours are lovely now.

I’m not sure why people are so disbelieving about the 6.30 am start. Many children wake up at 6 or earlier. It’s not hard to believe that some types of parent would be happy to tell them to go outside with their noise rather than listen to it close up in the house.

I know. That was what I was responding to.

It's not unheard of

you gave one example

so it transpires she comes to your front door or corners you as you leave your property and says that she saw xyz visiting you and who are they?

A brand new HA property
and you are uprooting your children in the space of a year because of a… nosy neighbour? And noise at… 6.30am?

are you moving to private?

No what will happen is I will be out sorting out the plants etc or on my way out with the kids and she will be leaving her house, or coming back from a walk etc and start a convo with me first.

She always starts the convo first.

When I was on friendlier terms with her she would just causally ask questions into the convo.
"I notice your husband is works away a lot, what does he do for a job?"

"He as a London accent why have you guys moved here?"

"So I notice you have had some older relatives visiting? Grandparents?"

"I notice you must work from home, which company do you work for"?

She is always up on everyone's business as she used to try and gossip with me about my other neighbour but I cut her short.

And this is why I don’t want neighbours when I move. My Dh showed me the ideal house yesterday but it’s in a tiny hamlet of several houses. I can imagine someone being the neighbourhood watch/Whatsapp person, checking on the comings and goings, just horrific. And I’d be very anxious about noise: had appalling druggy noisy neighbours before now.

Glad you’re getting out, OP.

None of these questions sound like anything other than a neighbour trying to be friendly.

I would consider myself to be more private than most, but if my next-door neighbour asked me where I was from (I also have a London accent but I live in Manchester) or where I worked I wouldn’t think that was even remotely inappropriate. No wonder she hasn’t added you to the bloody WhatsApp if you bristle at being asked “You don’t sound local - what brought you to this part of the country” type questions.

You don’t actually know she’s monitoring you on her Ring doorbell at all. I know my neighbour on one side has a dog walker go in twice a week, I know the bloke works from home and the woman has a hybrid job. I know their son plays football a couple of nights a week and supports Manchester City and I know they have elderly parents who visit a few times a year and one of elderly parents started using a stick. This isn’t because I’m monitoring them on a Ring doorbell - I don’t even own a Ring doorbell. This is just literally stuff I notice in passing because their front door is next to ours and everyone who goes in and out of their house is very bloody obvious when it’s happening by my front window every day.

So a neighbour starts a regular normal friendly conversation with you and you’re moving because of it…. Fuck me you need help OP

Eh, what?
Those all sound like someone trying to be nosey!

“Finally moving”

after 1 year in a brand new spanking flat provided for by HA
due to what seems like the most innocuous of interactions

To say there will be more to this is an understatement. Either way, OP you’ll be off soon, so it’s quite interesting you are spending so much time thinking both this 😵‍💫

And kids being uprooted as well

I would bet that the OP is being moved. Rather than it being her choice.

Some of the nasty comments on here are just bang out of order.

Everyone is different and people have different perceptions which is what makes the world so beautiful.

She does spy on everyone on her Ring door bell as she is at work 90% of the time when I have had visitors, so else how else would she know?

I am not being moved at all, we are leaving this house to rent privately and have had to borrow money of family as they too have been made to feel uncomfortable and approached by this neighbour.

It's funny how other people have encountered problems with her and her kids have thrown her kids bikes into the road, have been to her front door and to tell her to "f off" when she has been been round demanding to know who has damaged her kids bikes etc.

The Housing Officer is aware of the issues (I have asked for a managed move many times) but all she can say is report it as anti social behaviour and I know there have been other complaints so it is not just me.

She does spy on everyone on her Ring door bell as she is at work 90% of the time when I have had visitors, so else how else would she know?

how do you know?

and does she just charge up to you and ask who this person is etc?

And? Did you follow the explicit advice to report as anti social behaviour?

Giving up a secure tenancy just as private rents are going through the roof seems ill-judged. If only OP had kept her head down

As far as I can read…. She’s a nosy Parker
and her kids make a noise at 6.30

and you’re giving up a new HA flat, packing up all your stuff, uprooting your kids to move away from the security of HA to private renting and getting yourself in to debt to family as a result.

Exactly

and getting herself in to debt in the process
and within a year the kids packing up rooms and moving

How did you get on at the property prior to this one that you are now leaving? Anny problems there?

I went to ask this question

and then thought…. Well we’re hardly likely to get the truth are we?!

A knee-jerk reaction to give up a secure home because some kids are a nuisance. OP, wherever you move you can’t run away from yourself. I’ll bet wherever you go, trouble will follow.

Why is everyone blaming the OP here & questioning her actions, motives & efforts to deal with what sounds like not a family or neighbour any of us would enjoy living next to? Surely it’s unpleasant to learn you have been deliberately excluded from a community WhatsApp group & that this busy body of her estate is behind it? You’re doing the right thing OP & are fortunate to be getting out of where you are soon. There are so many posts on here where the response is always to asset your property boundaries or any violations like parking, fencing, trespassing on your property, desecrating it or being harassed or surveilled. Why is what the OP did any different?