Health visitor kissed my baby

[Bobarino]

The health visitor came earlier this morning to weigh my 7 week old baby (first baby). As she was passing the baby back to me after weighing him, she kissed him really quickly on his stomach. I didn’t say anything as I was so taken aback - she did it really quickly - but this made me really uncomfortable, we have asked people not to kiss the baby due to illness risk. I also thought she kissed him back of his head when she came earlier in the week but I was overtired and upset at the time so thought I hallucinated it, but my husband was home this time and saw it too. AIBU to feel like this was really inappropriate?

Also, I can’t stop thinking about it and am really worried about it, is there anything I can do to stop him getting ill (or to calm myself down!)

Your baby isn't going to get ill. She probably just forgot herself for a second. Just remind her next time of the no kissing rule, or even request a new HV.

He is very unlikely to get ill from a quick kiss on his stomach, so I really don't think that's anything to worry about.

I would be making a complaint about the HV and requesting a new one, or just withdraw from the service entirely, depending in the level of support/advice you need.

That's so inappropriate, and she should know better.

Hugely unprofessional

It's unprofessional but to have this amount of anxiety over him getting ill is silly

Yeah that’s extremely inappropriate and an odd thing to kiss his stomach?

id definitely report this !

Honestly couldn’t get worked up about this. A kiss on the stomach is fine, and it’s nice a health visitor is affectionate.

Lips or face I would be annoyed about

Illness risk wise.

Unless your child has worked out how to lick their own stomach or back of head - Youre fine.

It’s perfectly ok to ask them not to do it again, because it’s an odd thing to do. But germs wise. Youre fine.

“Calm myself down” was probably a bit of an exaggeration, I think I more can’t stop thinking about it because I thought it was odd / unprofessional!

Though baby has already been ill because he caught a chest infection off me (sort of unavoidable with BF) and I have an in-law in hospital due to an infection (with life changing complications), so I don’t think precaution around illness is particularly “silly”

Surprised by the voting split.

I would ask to change HVs or make a complaint. She was outrageous.

It’s not about the risk of illness

this is a serious breach of her code of conduct

I would argue that it's silly to assume that ops fears are unfounded re:illness when you've zero context in terms of health of baby or whether they were full term or not, never mind the fact we're in RSV season. And even aside from that, many new mums experience PPA and shouldn't be dismissed as "silly" or "ott" or "dramatic" or any of the other things that get thrown about on here all the time. The early months are hard and a bit of compassion goes a long way.

Op, unless there's additional factors that make your child vulnerable, they will most likely be fine. However I think it's inappropriate for the HV to be kissing your child on two separate occasions and I would guess it goes against their professional code of conduct policy. I would report and request a new HV to be honest. I'm not saying its anything malicious or nefarious, but it's inappropriate given her professional role coming to your home.

Very unlikely to get ill, but incredibly inappropriate and unprofessional and you should make a complaint. Health visitors should know and respect professional boundaries.

I had my children in the 90s and had an older HV who was absolutely lovely. I remember her kissing their hands and head and it never occurred to me to worry about it or would I ask for a replacement, but I guess times have moved on…

Thankfully times have moved on a bit and a HV kissing goodness knows how many babies a day, most of who won't be vaccinated yet, is complaint worthy.

i echo that it’s technically ‘unprofessional’ but god, I much preferred the older cuddly lady who nuzzled and kissed the top of my baby’s head with DC1 rather than the stiff, clinical ‘professional’ ones who just gave me leaflets and tapped away at a laptop with DC2.

by all means complain if it’s upset you, but it’s likely that she just thinks babies are scrummy and she forgot herself. That’s why she does the job that she does.

if you must- at least frame it as ‘I am worried <some> people might find it unprofessional so I think she would benefit from a chat’.

your baby isn’t going to get sick from a kiss on the stomach btw

Health visitors, midwives, teachers etc should not kiss the children.

Im sure baby will be fine and is so utterly gorgeous she found it hard to resist, however in future resist she must!!!

Just mention to her your rule about no kissing the baby next time she comes by. If she still does it I’d complain, but not too harshly, to her boss so she can be reminded if the rules.

Post Covid we should all be a bit wiser.

Of course I am very aware of that but also grateful that I didn’t have to go through the level of anxiety that new parents do today.

Retired HV here.
It wouldn't worry me from a health perspective.
It is however very inappropriate and I can't believe she's been so stupid - putting herself at risk of complaints, accusations,and (not very likely) infections.
What if he'd decided to have a wee 😂
She needs better boundaries - I hate to say it, but it is worth ringing her manager to ask if this can be addressed.
She should also be aware of how new mums worry enough, without adding to any anxieties about infection etc.

I would love this.

Its not the most professional thing, just like teachers shouldn’t hug children etc but seeing someone do it and forget themselves for a minute makes me so happy.

My vet kissed my dog and it honestly warmed my heart so much.

This wouldn’t worry me so much from an illness point of view, but it would really concern me, OP. It’s hugely unprofessional and massive overstep of boundaries. I’d be cancelling any future health visitor appointments, and explaining why.

I'm sad that we're in a world where loving, maternal health visitors can be complained about. I do think it was unprofessional and sorry you're uncomfortable with it, but she sounds lovely and caring!!

This isn’t going to make the baby unwell considering she’s already handled him. She sounds lovely but it is a bit unprofessional of her.

Lots of people in professional roles who are loving and caring uphold boundaries because they understand that this is actually about safeguarding children from the people who are not loving and caring. I work with children, I will never deny a child a hug who wants one but I also won't be the first to offer it for good reason.

My hv always wore gloves when handling ds.