Health visitor kissed my baby

[Bobarino]

The health visitor came earlier this morning to weigh my 7 week old baby (first baby). As she was passing the baby back to me after weighing him, she kissed him really quickly on his stomach. I didn’t say anything as I was so taken aback - she did it really quickly - but this made me really uncomfortable, we have asked people not to kiss the baby due to illness risk. I also thought she kissed him back of his head when she came earlier in the week but I was overtired and upset at the time so thought I hallucinated it, but my husband was home this time and saw it too. AIBU to feel like this was really inappropriate?

Also, I can’t stop thinking about it and am really worried about it, is there anything I can do to stop him getting ill (or to calm myself down!)

Yes, spontaneous affection. So sad it's not allowed/frowned upon these days.

Complain.

Its unprofessional but the bigger issue is potential herpes

A bit strange. Is she an older HV? I guess I'm asking because whenever people complain about people wanting to kiss their babies on here it's usually grandparents who aren't up to date.

Likely no harm done as long as she didn't kiss him on the face. I wouldn't make a big drama of it, as likely it's not intended to cause offence, maybe something like "oh, I noticed last time you kissed [baby] and it's really sweet that you're so affectionate with him, but he's just been poorly, I've been worried about him and I'm a new mum, you know what it's like. Would you mind not kissing him this time?"

Obviously not respecting your wishes would then be fair game for a complaint if she made a fuss about it.

This is really unprofessional. You should report this and ask to change HV

It is unprofessional, and no she shouldn't have done it but I can sympathise with forgetting herself for a minute (if that's what happened). I used to teach, and several times had to stop myself from giving an upset child a peck on the head.

Sorry that happened, OP that is shocking! It can be so anxiety inducing. Baby will be fine though, try to put it out of your head.

My in laws' neighbour asked us to come in when we went to show her my 7 week old (she'd hand knitted him a blanket and is close to my in laws), she then asked to hold him and suddenly kissed him on the forehead! A retired nurse! I was so upset and felt like I couldn't say anything.

Also had the mum of the owner of a cafe I went to with a friend - who knows the family - ask to hold my baby who'd at least had his jabs by then, but obviously didn't cover him for viruses you can get by kissing. Felt like I couldn't say no, she just put her hands out and said "Give us a hold". I was getting our things together and she then kissed him on the face 😑 obv people forget themselves but I didn't think I had to explicitly say "okay but no kissing" when letting people hold him. Doesn't help me being an anxious people pleaser.

Anyway I'd recommend explicitly telling people not to now, but the last person you'd expect is a health visitor! I will emphasise though baby is fine.

It is unprofessional but I promise you he will not get poorly because of it. However, even if you were the kissiest family and encouraged all the kisses, she still shouldn't do it in her capacity as a health visitor.

I'd have been absolutely fuming, and full of anxiety in your position. Its so unprofessional of her.

Now with older children from the outside I can see its not a risk in terms of baby getting poorly, unprofessional yes but nothing to worry about health wise. I'd definitely be requesting an alternative HV.

This reminds me of a colleague I had who on her first day back from Maternity leave gave a 16 year old boy a hug and kiss on the head when he was upset. She was still stuck in "mother mode" (she reported herself to safeguarding though and rang the boys parents to apologise). It could be something like this, it could be something more sinister. Worth a call to the HV.

Bet she still talked to him whilst holding him though… therefore breathing over him

THIS I work with young people (sometimes nursery/primary age kids, currently age 17+) I find a lot of them total sweethearts and sometimes have the instinct to give them a squeeze or a hair ruffle or whatever.

But it’s not about what I want, it’s about that young person having a clear sense of boundaries in a professional situation, so if something ever does try to do something inappropriate (“I know I’m not supposed to but…”) they can recognise it and get on the path to shutting that shit down immediately. Accepting hugs from children when offered is different and it’s own thing.

Safeguarding isn’t about cuddles and kisses being ‘wrong’ in themselves, it’s about consistency and boundaries so everyone stays safe and knows what to accept.

That's really poor practice. Gloves are for dirty jobs to protect the wearer. I'd have been offended that she was implying my baby was dirty 😂

I just could not get worked up over this.

The vet kissed my cat x

That’s cute but it’s really not comparable.

Funny tho x

Times have changed! It wouldn’t bother me at all, in fact it would have made me smile. What a bloody miserable world it’s becoming.

I accidentally kissed the vet's hand instead of my dog's head. Fortunately she didn't freak out 😅

🙄

When I was a health visitor, I worried that I would kiss one of the babies. I was in the habit of kissing my own babies whenever I changed them and I had to concentrate really hard to not kiss other people's babies whenever I had to undress and dress them. It was especially hard if I had a bond with the mum and baby and had visited a few times.

Parenting is so damn weird these days!

🤣🤣🤣 Love it

This country has got so depressing… I don’t want some automaton providing care, or serving me in a shop.. I want human beings.

Put a complaint in .. honestly?? Maybe chill out a bit and stop seeing everyone as a threat

Couldn’t care less if my HV did this. You are all such wet wipes