Health visitor kissed my baby

[Bobarino]

The health visitor came earlier this morning to weigh my 7 week old baby (first baby). As she was passing the baby back to me after weighing him, she kissed him really quickly on his stomach. I didn’t say anything as I was so taken aback - she did it really quickly - but this made me really uncomfortable, we have asked people not to kiss the baby due to illness risk. I also thought she kissed him back of his head when she came earlier in the week but I was overtired and upset at the time so thought I hallucinated it, but my husband was home this time and saw it too. AIBU to feel like this was really inappropriate?

Also, I can’t stop thinking about it and am really worried about it, is there anything I can do to stop him getting ill (or to calm myself down!)

I see. Without tagging or quoting them it sounds like you are referring to the OP

Are you sure it wasn’t an unqualified assistant they sent out? A HV would almost certainly know the risks of kissing newborns but also I just can’t see a qualified HV behaving so unprofessionally. Either way this shouldn’t have happened. Such a basic thing to follow. I’d be really pissed off they have put you in this position.

It's her first baby and only a few weeks old give her a break! Im sure most new first time mums are anxious!

Also its highly unprofessional! I have 5 children and never has any HV or midwife or any other professional kissed them!

What are the ACTUAL risks of kissing a baby on the stomach?

Negligible

But its HUGELY disrespectful to touch ANYONE without permission

Im in this boat as well. I was always really touched when a professional ( Dr., HV etc) showed affection to my child.

I think the world has gone mad.

I think the opposite - that children who are ripped away from their main caregiver at 1 to go to nursery form poor attachments and go on to be anxious teens and adults.

Secure, happy children become secure happy adults. That's what the evidence on child development suggests.

I'm sure extended family helps everyone form secure attachments but the idea that separating infants from their parents or primary caregivers is protective against anxiety is the opposite of everything we know from the literature on child development.

VERY inappropriate !!! Call and ask for a different health visitor or just say you will contact the gp if you need to and will
gP the health centre etc for checks and make it very clear WHY you are asking not to have this woman back in your home!! I can guarantee you that kissing your baby every time she visits won’t be classed as acceptable by her employers either

Strange. My children were all in childcare from 13 weeks, 5 months and 5 months. They are all confident outgoing adults , 2 in management positions, one who travels and talks to everyone

No " anxious' teens nor wimpy scaredy cat adults amongst them

How do you define main caregiver anyway? My DD and husband both working full time ( opposite shifts mainly) and look after the kids equally when not working. Who is tge main caregiver there?

But i was replying to pumpkinmagic to said a HV would know about the risk of kissing a baby. Those are the risks I was asking about.

As for touching a baby without " permission" Where does it end? Nappy changes , permission needed, wiping face permission needed? ( i was guilty of using a wipe on toddler dgs without asking permission, he would've never given it as hated face washed. What should I do? Leave him with food round mouth?)

Permission from the parents silly. Nobody is expecting the 7 week old to give permission. And there is a difference between wiping your grandsons face, and wiping a strangers face

I’ve not read the thread but this is really unprofessional. I hope you reported. I had a doctor ask my daughter for a hug and a kiss, I immediately reported the doctor (I was still in the office) and never returned to that GP. Never let things like this slide. It’s a gateway to something potentially, significantly worse.

Your baby will be fine OP but it is odd and unprofessional and I'd ask her not to do it.

I’m a midwife and wouldn’t dream of kissing someone’s baby when I’m weighing or checking them. So bizarre!

Why is there a difference between me wiping my grandsons face and someone else doing it? At the end of the day he still didn't give permission for me to do it. I didn't ring his mother and ask either

Nursery didn't ask permission to wipe kids faces, change nappies etc either.And I can remember a nursery worker giving my DD a hug and sitting here on lap. Probably another thing neurotic people would be join arms about these days

Absolutely report this, I don't know how anyone is ok with this? If a doctor kissed my child during an exam I would also be bothered! No professional should be kissing babies

Of course parents give nursery permission to change their child’s nappies, don’t be daft. And if you think there is no difference between you touching your grandson and a total stranger doing it without parent permission then there is really no point talking to you any further. Hopefully his parents have more sense than you.

It’s very unprofessional and inappropriate.

I would be complaining, and I have never complained about a health professional.

Lol well his parents are very laid back about all this stuff. MyDD was telling me about a neurotic work colleague who was constantly on phone checking on her " little darling" that her mum looked after, and stressing about non events. Woman ended up with a warning as so much time doing it. As my DD was her manager she's the one who gave the warning and the woman was astounded that Dd " didn't understand" despite having a similar aged child

When does the child become old enough to give permission on their own behalf then?