Breastfeeding needs a gritty reboot

[RightOrAMeringue]

Currently bf’ing DC2 who’s 11w old. It’s going fine, but it was still nippy/exhausting/difficult/annoying while I was getting into it again. I don’t think it was physically any easier than DC1, just I knew what to expect and didn’t over-analyse things this time. But, inevitably, the old algorithms have thrown up a lot of bf’ing kool aid, telling me (I didn’t ask) about how wonderful it is and how it absolutely is not to blame for sleep problems/PPD/anxiety/exhaustion etc etc. There’s always a footnote just to remind you that IF it is painful/not working/you hate it, it’s defo a you-problem and to “reach out”. To who is always vague, and usually will involve money.

AIBU to suggest we sack all the woo/ crunchy mama content and call it what it is: metal af? None of this “it’s best for your baby”; like, b*tch, we know. Someone not bf’ing their kid is not usually based on total ignorance, and to suggest as much is just internalised misogyny. Bf’ing is hard, it’s messy, it’s visceral, it’s a new skill your body is learning to do when it’s just been put through the wringer….can we just tell people that? So that when they inevitably get to that point where they’re hunched over a tiny crying baby at 3am, drenched in sweat, trying to put a nipple into their mouth even though it feels like 1000 papercuts when they do because they love their baby more than life itself…they can go “oh yeah, I was told about this”. Not “that smug influencer never mentioned this” or “I’m doing it wrong”.

The nhs needs to hire someone who can make some content depicting the reality of breastfeeding (with a good soundtrack, maybe Slipknot/ similar), and trust that women won’t be put off like they’re flaky children. They won’t be. People do hard things all the time - run marathons, physio, academic stuff, growing an actual human being and birthing it, be it squeezing it out your vagina or undergoing major abdominal surgery. They do it KNOWING it’s hard…BECAUSE it’s hard, even?? 🤷🏻‍♀️ Maybe we need to start being more honest about breastfeeding and people will actually engage with the messaging.

Not true. Low supply is caused by a wide range of things from a temporary delay in milk coming in thanks to haemorrhage at birth, to insufficient glandular tissue, and endocrine disorders such as diabetes and PCOS.

Women need to be aware of this.

They’re not comparing like with like though. EBFing can be defined as nothing other than breastmilk in the first six months or only breastmilk in the previous week. Big difference especially if you’ve needed to supplement early on

Luck is a huge part of it, and that isn’t acknowledged in the promotion either. If you are reasonably young and fit, no other medical problems and have a straightforward pregnancy and birth your chances of being able to BF successfully are considerably higher.

Conversely if you are older, have other health conditions, end up having a CS or a difficult birth involving blood loss then your chances are already significantly lower as biologically your body will struggle to make the milk (and, let’s
face it, in the past you would have been unlikely to have been pregnancy or survived the birth so you wouldn’t have been BFing).

After that it becomes more vital to have a good postnatal experience with support to rest and sleep on the postnatal ward. Because recovery from the birth is also vital for supply.

Agree with this. My baby latched brilliantly, right in the delivery suite. Everyone thought breastfeeding was going fine for me. And I panicked and worried as I watched her get skinnier and skinnier, and she fell asleep more and more. I was told a hungry baby wouldn't sleep. I was in hospital for 4 days, and never saw a fully qualified midwife.

Well it turns out when they finally weighed her on Day 5, thay starving and dehydrated babies do get weak and sleep all the time.

When she got out of NICU and I did research, it turns out that I have ALL of the risk factors for low milk supply. A midwife friend who is an infant feeding specialist tells me I should have been referred to her team for advice before I even gave birth.

I'm still breastfeeding my nearly 3 year old, but we've had to combifeed all the way through. I will never make enough milk to keep a baby alive.

It's hard to find completely up to date stats but if you compare like from like then lots of countries, including Norway, have far higher rates of any breastfeeding at different points.

Interestingly whilst I was looking at all the different stats it seems breastfeeding increased in the covid lockdown. Maybe the pressure of less to do/ less visitors?

I'm old and fat and had c sections but still managed to breastfeed fine BUT had I been told "oh no you are going to find this so hard" I'd potentially have been put off and not tried. That's why I'm not sure telling women it's really hard before they actually try is a good idea. I'm not saying gaslight women who do end up finding it hard but it can be very different for different people.

Agree post partumn rest and recovery is SO important.